Characterizing Wisdom--Proverbs series

It's funny at times to see how far people are willing to go to imitate the characteristics of people that they admire. Young athletes can be particularly interesting to watch. Young baseball players have always tried to hold their bat the same way as their favorite Major League players, or wear their pant legs up or down depending on the style in the majors at that time. Some businessman noticed this many years ago and created Big League Chew--bubble gum that is shredded up like chewing tobacco. So even though Little League players couldn't chew tobacco, they could still have a bulge in their lip just like their favorite baseball player!

I saw a particularly ridiculous example of imitating someone else's characteristics when I was in junior high. For a few months one year, there was a trend going around among junior high students to carry around pacifiers and suck on them. Unfortunately I think it had some kind of tie-in to the drug culture, but some of my classmates thought it was cool so they walked around sucking on pacifiers!

Yes, people will go a long way to imitate others that they admire. I hope over the last few weeks that you have started to admire the idea of having biblical wisdom, but perhaps you've been thinking, "What do wise people look like?" What kind of habits do they have in their lives? What are the characteristics of a wise person? That's the question that we're going to address today.

What are the characteristics of a wise person?

I. A wise person will accept advice from others (1:5, 9:9)

Let’s look at a couple of verses together [READ 1:5, 9:9]. We learned last week that wise counselors are one of the sources of wisdom that Proverbs describes. The wise person realizes this and is therefore willing to seek out and accept advice from other people—and not just advice but correction and criticism as well. Proverbs 15:31–32 says, “He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.”

So we need to seek advice from other people, and we need to be willing to honestly consider the correction and criticism that we receive from others—even if that criticism is not offered in a very kind way. The fact that someone is rude does not necessarily mean that they are wrong. We can call this the Simon Cowell principle, for those of you who’ve seen “American Idol.” If you’re not familiar with that show, Simon is one of the judges and he’s extremely rude when he criticizes the singers, but he’s usually right.

Now we all understand that other people are not always correct when they criticize us, but a wise person will honestly consider what others have to say without simply rejecting it out of hand.

II. A wise person will trust the Lord’s point-of-view rather than his own (3:5–8)

Let’s read Proverbs 3:5–8 [READ 3:5–8]. This trait is so important for us to embrace because God frequently commands us to do things that seem counterintuitive to us. For example, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Now normally we’re tempted to think, “Yeah, I’ll pray for them alright! I’ll pray that God will rain fire and brimstone down on their heads!” But obviously that is not what Jesus meant. He goes on to say that we should love our enemies because that’s the way that God acts—He is kind even to those who do not worship Him.

So when we encounter commands like that, we have to trust God’s point-of-view, because those commands cut against the grain; they are usually the opposite of the way that we tend to look at the world. Think about the command against seeking to get revenge against other people. We’re often tempted to think, “Yeah that sounds good, but if I don’t show this person that I’m not going to take this stuff, they may do the same thing again.” Or, we kind of give these commands a trial run—we follow them at first, but if they don’t seem to be working 5 minutes after we followed them, then we feel like we can go on to our own plan!

But the wise person realizes that we must adopt God’s way of looking at things rather than a merely human way of looking at things. God knows all things, He is in control of all things, and remember—He knows how life works because He created it and He established the moral laws that govern it.

III. A wise person associates with wise people (13:20)

The principle behind this trait seems fairly obvious. Let’s see what Prov. 13:20 has to say [READ 13:20]. I’m sure you’ve all heard the old statement “you are what you eat.” That describes us physically, but it seems that morally we would not be far off if we said “you are who you hang out with.” The people that we befriend have a significant impact on us. They can help us draw closer to God, or they can drag us away from Him.

Sometimes we try to get around this principle with an argument that sounds very godly. We say, “I know these people have a sinful lifestyle, but how will I win them to Christ if I don’t befriend them?” There is a legitimate question there if we ask it with the right motives, but we need to understand the difference between being friendly to someone and befriending someone. We should be friendly to everyone—we should show them kindness and respect, and we should even seek to do good for them if we are able.

But befriending someone is different. When you become friends with someone, you give them special access to your heart. You share thoughts with them that you wouldn’t share with just anyone. You also tend to gradually adopt their point-of-view because your friends are special to you and you want their acceptance and praise. You don’t want to lose their companionship and so you often start to act like they do.

So because of the access that your friends have to your heart, this principle from Prov. 13:20 is so very important. So if you want to be wise, become friends with wise people. They will pull you in the direction of wisdom, and they will also serve as a great source of advice and correction.

IV. A wise person is thoughtful about his way of life (14:8)

Let’s look at Proverbs 14:8 together [READ 14:8]. Now let’s unpack this Proverb a little bit. The book of Proverbs often uses the metaphor of a person’s “way” or a person’s “path,” and that metaphor basically refers to a person’s way of life or lifestyle. So the first part of this verse tells us that the sensible person exercises wisdom by understanding his lifestyle. This implies that the sensible person has been thoughtful about his way of life. He has carefully considered his choices and where they are most likely to take him. He hasn’t just stumbled through life without reflecting on where he is headed.

The fool, however, has been deceived by his own foolish choices. Perhaps he thought his way of life would take him in one direction when in fact it was taking him in another direction because he was living in a foolish way.

So this Proverb drives home for us the importance of being thoughtful about the way that we live, which means that we must make time to reflect upon our lives—to consider the decisions that we’ve made and the decisions that we still have to make and to seek to apply wisdom to our situations.

I think today we often face two enemies that keep us from living a reflective life. First is the temptation to simply entertain our minds rather than engage them in serious thought. We have a dizzying number of entertainment options available to us today, and most of them are pumped directly into our homes. Without even realizing it, we can spend untold hours subtly shaping our way of thinking through entertainment, and all the while we are crowding out some of the time that we could use for giving serious thought to our lives. This is a very serious matter because when the Bible describes spiritual growth, it describes it as a process that begins in the mind. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” So if we want to grow spiritually, we must cultivate a healthy habit of reflecting on our lives.

The second enemy that keeps us from a reflective life is the temptation to give our emotions and our feelings the primary place in our decision making process. Much of our culture is based on the motto, “if it feels good, do it.” Obviously, the danger here comes when we make choices based on our feelings without truly thinking through our choices and their potential consequences.

The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way, and so a wise person gives serious thought to the way he lives.

V. A wise person is not eager to blurt out what he knows (10:14)

How many of you like a “know-it-all?” Oh come on, we all like those kinds of people don’t we—people who always have the right answer and always share advice whether we ask for it or not? Well, a wise person may have tremendous knowledge, but he is not a know-it-all. Look with me at Prov. 10:14 [READ 10:14]. The point of this proverb seems to be that the wise person acquires knowledge and hangs on to it—presumably to share it at the right time. But the foolish person has no control over his mouth and gets himself in trouble for it—presumably in this verse by speaking out of turn or simply by speaking without thinking. In Proverbs it is considered a very foolish thing to have a mouth that constantly talks. The wise person is thoughtful and selective when speaking, and he knows that there is a proper place and time to say certain things.

We all understand that when you’re trying to share wisdom or knowledge with someone else, there is a right place and a right time to do it—especially if you’re correcting someone else. Another person may genuinely need to hear what you have to say, but you can turn them off to your message if you speak to them in the wrong way or at the wrong time.

I think this is a lesson that we need to keep in the front of our minds when we’re speaking to our children. As parents, our children certainly do need our correction and our discipline, but we can correct them in very hurtful ways if we use the wrong tone of voice or the wrong words or if we lose our patience or our temper. Yes, they do need our discipline, but that doesn’t give us a license to disrespect them or to belittle them. A wise person stores up knowledge to share it at appropriate times and in appropriate ways—NOT in the way that foolish people speak.

VI. A wise person is not lead astray by the apparent joy of foolishness (15:21)

Let’s read Prov. 15:21 [READ 15:21]. The word “understanding” here is a very close synonym to wisdom. The idea is that the man of understanding continues to follow the right path even when a temptation comes up from the momentary pleasure that sin brings. Let’s be honest—sin does have momentary pleasure, doesn’t it? Sinful behavior feels good while you’re doing it; otherwise, it wouldn’t be tempting. But sin only brings momentary pleasure, and ultimately it is deceitful because it doesn’t bring the fulfillment that it promises. The man of understanding recognizes this and thus chooses to follow the godly way rather than chase after momentary, sinful pleasures.

So I believe this verse teaches us to look at the reality behind the temptations that we face. Yes, the path of sin may be fun for a moment, but where does it ultimately lead? Let’s take one temptation as an example—think about the beer commercials that you see on TV. They never show alcoholics on those commercials, do they? They don’t show children going hungry because mom and dad have spent their last dollar on booze. They don’t show grieving parents who have just lost a child to drunk driving. No—what do they show? They show beautiful women and handsome men, and they’re always having a party, right? So what’s the message? Life is a constant party when you drink beer!

But the man of understanding looks past momentary pleasure and considers the consequences. Thus, he chooses to stay on the path of wisdom, which will ultimately bring about much more desirable results.

These are just a few of the characteristics that a wise person will have in his life. We could talk about others, but I want to take a moment to hopefully leave you with a note of encouragement today. When we study a list of character traits like this, it can be very easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. I’m sure we can all look in the mirror and see room for growth in every one of these areas, and when we realize that it can be easy to think, “Wow! I’ll never qualify as a wise person.” But remember one thing, friends—a wise person is willing to accept correction. A wise person understands that he has room for improvement; it is the fool he thinks he’s got it all together. So if you’re willing to acknowledge your need for growth, you’ve taken the first step on the path of wisdom! You’re headed in the right direction, now just keep going! Look for wisdom in the places we discussed last week—pray to God for it and study His Word, talk to wise counselors, learn from nature and from the experiences of other people, and do this with urgency and passion and determination. You’re headed the right way, just keep going and you’ll find yourself getting wiser every day!