No Man is An Island--Proverbs series

There is an old saying which states, “No man is an island.” This statement reminds us that we do not live in isolation—we were not created to do so, nor can we ever really disconnect from other people. Our lives are much more like the ocean that surrounds an island. Underneath the waves and the surf of the ocean is a world that humans are just beginning to understand. Numerous plant and animal species live together in a shared habitat that unites them all, and through a complex web of relationships they are interdependent on each other.

Ocean life is a much more accurate picture of our existence than an island. We are all connected to other people through a vast number of relationships. But unlike ocean life, we are not just connected to others through biological bonds; our relationships are also characterized by moral bonds. The moral choices that we make have a ripple effect into the lives of people around us.

One of the biggest lies floating around our culture right now is that individuals somehow have a “private” life that is disconnected from that person’s “public” life. The idea is that the moral choices I make in my “private” life only affect me and maybe my immediate family, but somehow those choices do not have an impact beyond that.

But the reality is that our moral choices affect a far greater number of people than we will probably ever realize. This reality means that our moral choices are extremely important—not only for us, but for others as well. Last Sunday, we started to take a look at what the book of Proverbs had to say about the upright person. Today we’re going to look at the upright person again, but we’re going to focus specifically upon how an upright person’s behavior affects other people. So the question we’re going to deal with is this:

What characterizes the upright person’s relationships with other people?

I. He will see others rejoice in his well-being

Let’s read Prov. 11:10 [READ 11:10]. Notice that the same reaction is mentioned here in both circumstances, but for very different reasons. When I read the last half of this verse, it makes me think of the scene from the musical “Scrooge” when Ebenezer sees the day of his own death and the whole city turns out to celebrate, and Tom Jenkins starts to dance on his casket while he’s singing that song: “Thank you very much, thank you very much, that’s the nicest thing that anyone’s ever done for me!”

Now what goes unsaid in this verse is that both the righteous person and the wicked person have an effect on the people around them—one positive and one negative. People are relieved when the negative effect of the wicked person is gone, and likewise they rejoice when things go well for the righteous person because the thought is that the righteous person will then continue to have a positive effect on others.

It is certainly true that jealousy and envy can creep in, but by and large people are glad when things go well for good people. So what kind of response do you want people to have toward you? Do you want them to celebrate your good fortune, or to celebrate your death? Then take your pick between righteousness and wickedness!

II. His children do not have to suffer negative consequences because of his actions

Look with me at Prov. 11:21 [READ 11:21]. There’s an interesting contrast here because in the first part of the verse, the evil man face the consequences of his own actions, but in the second part of the verse, it is the children of the righteous who receive benefits from their parents’ actions.

I think the thought behind this verse is based on verses like Exodus 34:6–7—why don’t you turn there with me? These verses come from the passage where Moses has asked to see God’s glory and God has allowed Moses to see a vision of Him. Let’s read these verses [READ Ex. 34:6–7]. Now that last statement doesn’t mean that God considers children to be guilty of their parents’ sins; it means that God may enact consequences that will effect several generations of a family.

For example, this principle is unfortunately very easy to see in the families of people who are in prison. When people make choices that land them in prison, their children often pay a terrible price. They lose the day-to-day influence of one of their parents, the family loses the income of one parent, and there is often a lot of shame and embarrassment for the children. That’s hard enough on the children, and unfortunately a number of these kids also choose a destructive way of life, which can be a detriment to their children, and before you know it you’ve got several generations who have been hurt by the consequences of one person’s actions.

It is so important for us to realize that our children are almost always affected by our choices. So if we choose an upright way of life, we can avoid bringing consequences into our own lives that will hurt our children as well.

III. He enjoys peace with those around him

Let’s take a look at Prov. 16:7 [READ 16:7]. There is a saying that states that when there is tension in a relationship, all it takes to relieve the tension is for one person to stop pulling. I think that’s very similar to the basic idea we have here. If a person’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, then that person won’t be engaging in behaviors like revenge, gossip, and slander. In other words, he won’t be retaliating against any enemies that he might have.

When you make that choice, your enemies will usually cease their hostilities against you. It is unusual for a person to keep harassing you when you don’t respond by taking revenge against them. Normally anyone who is hostile toward you will knock it off, and you can live in peace with them, even if they never exactly become your best friend.

It is said that Abraham Lincoln sought to get rid of his enemies by making them his friends. That is no doubt a good summary of the Christian approach toward personal relationships. When we choose ways of living that are pleasing to God, even those who might strongly disagree with us will be inclined to live peacefully with us.

IV. He has nothing to fear when justice is carried out

Let’s read Prov. 21:15 [READ 21:15]. The first part of this verse might refer to the righteous person acting in a just way or to the righteous person observing others carrying out justice. Either way, the righteous person delights in justice—he seeks to act in a way that is just and fair, and consequently he has nothing to fear when others are carrying out justice.

Justice is truly at the very heart of God’s character. In Genesis 18:25, Abraham asked this rhetorical question: “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?” The answer of course is yes, He will because that is part of God’s nature—to deal with others in a way that is fair. This is one of the main things that He wants from us as well. Turn with me to Micah 6:6–8 [READ Micah 6:6–8].

As we saw last week, the upright person understands that God wants a proper heart attitude from us. The upright person seeks to live in a manner that is just and fair, and thus he has nothing to fear from those who are entrusted with carrying out justice. But for the wicked on the other hand, they have every reason to fear when justice is carried out because they deserve punishment for their actions.

So if you want to live without fear of the authorities, then do what is just and right. If you want to avoid a knot in your stomach when you hear about the IRS conducting audits, then do your taxes honestly. If you want your paranoia to decrease while you’re driving, then obey the speed limit. If you want to avoid sweaty palms when you hand in your expense log at work, then don’t run up false charges on it. We can face justice confidently when we live in a way that is just.

V. He escapes harm because the evil person is taken in his place

Turn with me to Prov. 11:8 [READ 11:8]. When Solomon wrote this proverb, he may have been thinking particularly of situations where the wicked plan to do evil against the righteous. In such cases, the wicked often fall prey to their own schemes, and they end up falling into the trouble that they intended for the righteous person.

There is a great example of this in Scripture with the story of Haman and Mordecai from the book of Esther. Haman was a government official for the king of Persia, and he was enraged at Mordecai the Jew because Mordecai would not bow down before him or pay him homage. Haman became so mad that he decided that he wanted to kill not just Mordecai, but all of the Jews, and he hatched a plot to do just that. He then built a gallows at his home where he could personally hang Mordecai. But after Queen Esther revealed to the king the danger that she was in from this plot, the king ordered that Haman be hung on the gallows that he had prepared for Mordecai. So in the end, he became the victim of his own evil plot.

We also see examples of this in our own day and age. Sometimes people who file frivolous lawsuits against others watch their plot backfire on them. The judge may dismiss the lawsuit and order that the person who filed the suit pay for the court costs of the defendant.

The old saying says, “What goes around, comes around.” The upright person has a defender in the Lord who just might turn the wicked person’s intentions back on his own head.

VI. He will be well-liked by those in authority over him

Turn with me to Prov. 22:11 [READ 22:11]. What a person to have as a friend! And of course, King Solomon would know what kind of a person the king approves of! A person who was pure in heart with gracious speech is the kind of person that a king would want around. The king always had to be careful about what kind of people made it into his inner circle because any one of them might be trying to take his throne.

But the king knew he could trust someone who was pure in heart, so he would approve of that person. It’s the same with the people in authority over you today. They like people they can trust, people who aren’t going to cause problems for them, and so they will approve of you if you display that kind of behavior. And let’s be honest—sometimes it is good to have friends in high places!

Now its no mistake that a pure heart is tied together here with gracious speech. Jesus said in Matthew 12:34 that the mouth simply proclaims whatever is in your heart. Your mouth is a lot like our projector that we have here. This projector doesn’t make up its own information to display on the screen—it simply displays whatever the computer tells it to display. Your mouth is the same way—your tongue and your teeth don’t get together and decide what you’re going to say! Your words come from within, from the heart, so your words are a window into your heart. Gracious speech reveals a pure heart, so those two ideas are very deliberately tied together in this verse.

So the upright person is well-liked by those in authority over him, and that’s a good benefit to have in those relationships because the people in authority over you make decisions that affect you. If they are inclined to think well of you, then their decisions will most likely reflect that as well.

Let’s never forget that the choices we make affect other people as well. I don’t care how private a moral decision might feel—it will either directly or indirectly have a significant impact on others. So we can show true love and concern for other people by pursuing the upright lifestyle that comes on the way of wisdom. It would be very thoughtless and careless of us to reject a lifestyle that lines up with God’s standards because we would be unwittingly dragging other people into our own mess. But the upright person can be a blessing to others and consequently will be blessed by others for living in accordance with God’s commands.