A little boy once forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Her son’s memory was blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, “I am the light of the world.” The child beamed and with great feeling and in a loud clear voice said, “My mother is the light of the world!”1
Our mothers may not be the light of the world, but undoubtedly they are the light of our lives. They deserve our thanks and our gratitude every day, but it is also very appropriate for us to celebrate a day like Mother’s Day, where we set aside some time to give them special recognition.
This morning we are going to look at a few verses that encourage us to honor our mothers—and not just our mothers, but our wives as well. We’ve been studying the book of Proverbs for several months now, and at the end of Proverbs we find a poem that praises the “virtuous woman” or the “excellent wife.” Why don’t you turn with me to Proverbs 31?
We find this poem in vv. 10–31. We’re not going to look at this entire poem today; we’re just going to focus on the last four verses that describe how this woman’s children and husband respond to her. If the majority of this poem teaches women to live, then these verses teach children and husbands how to honor their mothers and wives. Let’s read these verses [READ 31:28–31].
Let’s take a look at the behavior of the family in these verses. First, look at the children. Verse 28 says that they “rise up and call her blessed.” You can think of someone standing up to give a toast at a banquet or a party. That’s the idea here—the idea of making a declaration of kind words about another person. The end of the verse says that they call her “blessed,” which means that she is worthy of this praise that they give her.
So we can see that this action from the children even goes beyond the casual compliments that we HOPEFULLY give to our mothers on a regular basis. This behavior is more formal, more solemn, and I think we can say that it is even more public. At the very least, these compliments are spoken to a larger audience than just our mothers. Many of the things for which our mothers deserve praise are unknown to other people because they happen in the privacy of the home. Thus, I think it is very appropriate for us to praise our mothers to other people so that their godly deeds do not go unrecognized.
Next, the poem mentions the husband, and he, too, is praising his wife. He really shows us how to do it, men! He says, “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” That’s good stuff right there!
I think it may be very significant that the Bible records what the husband says to praise his wife. Men, it is very important for us to continually offer verbal praise and affirmation to our wives. This is a need for them that we don’t always understand because of our differences.
There is a book that was published about five years ago that I would encourage all men to read. It is called “For Men Only.” The book was based on a nationwide survey of over 3,000 women, and it was written to help men understand their wives more clearly so that we can love them more perfectly.
In this book, the authors write about the deep need that woman have to receive verbal affirmation from their husbands. In one chapter, they write about feelings of insecurity that women deal with. In their survey, they found that 70% of all women said that they occasionally or often wonder how their husband feels about them. But this might be the most surprising statistic for us, men—only 20% of women said that these thoughts only come up during a period of difficulty in the marriage. Do you understand what that means? Even if things are going fine by all accounts, your wife might still be feeling insecure about your love for her! This is not the way that we think, is it men? We tend to think that everything is fine unless we see our wives walking out the door with luggage! But women don’t feel that way, so they need to hear that you love them, and they need to hear it often. Among women who were younger than 45, 91% said that they occasionally or often feel insecure about their husband’s love. If that’s the case, then we should tell them often that we love them.
Our wives also need to hear that we think they’re beautiful. According to the survey, 60% of all women said that they have a deep need to know that their husband thinks they’re beautiful. Among women younger than 45, that percentage rose to 77%. But here’s the best part, men—when asked how they feel after their husband tells them they’re beautiful, 89% of all women said it makes their day. Only 8% said, “It’s nice, but I don’t care that much,” and only 3% said, “It makes no difference to me.” This means that even if your wife doesn’t feel like she needs to hear this from you, most likely it will make her day if you just tell her! So the husband in this poem sets a great example for us by verbally praising his wife. He tells her how he feels about her, and we should do the same.
Verse 30 is a great verse for every young man to keep in mind as he thinks about a potential spouse. The greatest trait a woman can have is the fear of the Lord. Charm is nice, but it may deceitful. Charm may be the only thing a woman possesses, and if that’s the case, she will not make a great wife. Beauty is great, but it will fade over time. Thus, both charm and beauty pale in comparison to the beautiful spirit that is manifested when a woman fears the Lord, and a woman with this kind of spirit deserves to be praised.
Verse 31 then continues on that theme. It says first of all, “give her of the fruit of her hands.” The concept of “fruit” speaks of what the woman has produced with her hard work. In this poem, the wife has brought prosperity to her home through her hard work, and this verse would tell us that she should be allowed to enjoy some of the benefits that her work has created. It would be unfair and unjust to deprive the wife of such blessings. Various lines in this poem describe other people enjoying what the wife’s work has provided, and she should be allowed to enjoy it as well.
Finally, the poem concludes by saying, “let her works praise her in the gates.” In Old Testament times, many cities had a wall built around them, and the area where the gate was located became the place where public matters were dealt with. Business affairs and legal matters were dealt with there. In Montezuma, USA, we would talk about Main Street; that’s where much of our business is conducted and where people bump into each other. So in the New Montezuma Translation of the Bible, we might say, “let her have a good reputation over on Main Street—among the people who gather for coffee at Eva’s, or the people you bump into in the post office. A virtuous wife deserves a good reputation in public.
Do you know what this means, men? It means that we need to be careful with the things that we say about our wives to others. When the All-Boys Club is in session, its easy to air our dirty laundry a bit, isn’t it? We might joke about our wives or tell stories about some of their short-comings. But—let her works praise her in the gates! Let her enjoy a good reputation among others. A virtuous wife and mother is like an angel from God, so don’t clip her wings with careless words!
Women have such an important role in our world, and that goes for mothers in particular. I want to close by reading a poem that beautifully describes the impact that mothers have on our world. It is called “The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.”
Blessings on the hand of women!
Angels guard its strength and grace,
In the palace [or the cottage],
Oh, no matter where the place;
Would that never storms assailed it,
Rainbows ever gently curled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.
Infancy's the tender fountain,
Power may with beauty flow,
Mother's first to guide the streamlets,
From them souls unresting grow--
Grow on for the good or evil,
Sunshine streamed or evil hurled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.
Woman, how divine your mission
Here upon our [native] sod!
Keep, oh, keep the young heart open
Always to the breath of God!
All true trophies of the ages
Are from [mother’s] love impearled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.
Blessings on the hand of women!
Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,
And the sacred song is mingled
With the worship in the sky--
Mingles where no tempest darkens,
Rainbows evermore are hurled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.2
1 Bits and Pieces, August, 1989
From http://bible.org/illustration/my-mother-light-world Accessed May 4, 2011
2 Poem by William Ross Wallace. Brackets represent my own updates to the language.
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