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Monday, June 20, 2011

Fathering Like the Father--Father's Day 2011

All of us learn in slightly different ways, but one thing that is true of us all is that we learn by example. We learn the basic functions of life this way. How does a baby learn to walk and talk? By mimicking his parents! He sees what they do and imitates it. We learn by example, and our parents play a huge role in our development by their example. Whether we like it or not, we pick up little things from them without even realizing it. How many times have you heard someone make a statement and then recoil in terror and say, “I sound just like my parents!”

Our parents have more of an influence on us than we realize. This is why the absence of either parent from a family affects children adversely. We see this most often today in fatherless homes across the country. Single mothers work hard to raise their children properly, and they do an admirable job, but the influence of a father is an invaluable factor in a child’s development. Fathers affect their children in every area of life, but apparently one area where they can have the greatest impact is in the spiritual lives of their children.

In the spring of 1995, the Christian Service Brigade conducted a study on what they called “family worship.” Their results may surprise you. They concluded that if both of your parents worshipped with you regularly while you were growing up, there’s an 80 percent likelihood that you’ll worship God regularly as an adult. But, if only your mother worshipped regularly with you, there’s only a 30 percent probability that you’ll worship regularly as an adult. However, if only your father worshipped regularly with you, the likelihood that you’ll worship regularly as an adult increases to 70 percent!

Children learn by example, and they need godly fathers to teach them right from wrong. But children aren’t the only ones who learn by example—fathers do to! Fathers need good examples to look up to as well, people they can learn from. We see such an example in the pages of the Bible as we look at God, our own spiritual Father.

Main Question: How does God serve as a father for us?

I. He displays an adoptive love (Rom. 8:14-17)

God displays a fatherly love to us by choosing to be a father to us. Thus, God’s love for us is an adoptive love. Adoption is a perfect picture for what God has done in our lives as believers. In the act of adoption, parents make a completely free choice to adopt a child. They are not required to adopt the child, nevertheless they choose to do so out of love and usually at a substantial expense on their part. This is exactly what God has done for us—He freely chose to set his love on us and bring us into His family, doing so at tremendous expense to Himself. Paul describes this process in Rom. 8:14-17 [READ].

Notice how intimate the relationship is here. Paul says we call God “Abba.” This word is a Hebrew term that is much like our English words “papa” or “daddy.” It was a term of endearment that a child would use when speaking to their father. This word highlights the close, intimate relationship that we have with God. The barrier of sin that separated us from God has been broken down by Jesus Christ, and now we can run to Him just like a little child runs to his dad.

Just how complete and deep is this adoptive love which our Father shows us? New Testament scholar William Barclay notes four changes that would take place in a person’s legal status in New Testament times when he or she was adopted into a new family:

1. The adopted person lost all rights in his old family and gained all the rights of a legitimate son in his new family.

2. The adopted son became heir to his father’s estate. Thus, he was a co-heir with all of the other children.

3. The old life of the adopted person was completely wiped out and all debts were paid off by the adoptive parents.

4. The adopted son became a blood relative of the family.

There are some beautiful parallels here to what God has done for us spiritually. God has paid off the debt of our sin, so that our spiritual debt is completely paid off. We are now heirs of God, which means that we get to enjoy all of God’s good blessings, and we have the opportunity to share part of Christ’s inheritance when we sets up His kingdom in this world. We have been fully accepted as children in God’s family—and not as the black sheep of the family either, but as beloved children!

II. He puts up a fatherly defense (Ps. 27:1, 3:1–6)

You all know that children are easily frightened. There is much that they do not understand; many things that they are still not used to. The need to feel safe and secure is huge in the childhood years, and children look to their father to provide this safety. Children run to mom when they skin their knees, but they run to dad when the monsters under their bed start getting restless!

Throughout the Bible, God is pictured as the defender of His people. Some of the most well-known passages of the Bible talk about God as a defense to His people. These verses are so popular because they offer such comfort to us.

One of the common titles given to God by Old Testament writers was “Lord of Hosts,” which is a military term that pictures God as commander-in-chief of the armies of heaven, ready to go to war for His people. King David summarized God’s protection very simply in Ps. 27:1—“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” As you might imagine, the Lord’s protection was a common theme for David. During his life, he was hunted by both King Saul and his own son, Absalom. But notice David’s response in Ps. 3:1–6 [READ].

Now, many of us lose sleep when we face something as relatively trivial as a big test or an important deadline. David was surrounded by people who wanted to kill him, yet what does he say? “I lay down and slept.” He was confident in God’s protection! He knew the Lord was his defender, and we still have that same confidence today. We don’t need to be afraid of any foe, any circumstance. We don’t need to be afraid when people attack the Bible, attack our faith, our ultimately, attack us. Whatever the battle, we can confidently march onto the field with our battle cry, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Hosts!”

Perhaps you remember a time as a child when you got in an argument and told another kid, “My dad can beat up your dad!” Kids can’t imagine that anyone could be stronger than their dad, but even when they grow up and realize that we’re not as strong as they thought we were, they still need to know that we are here to protect them and defend them. We need to help them feel as safe as possible in the midst of this scary world.

III. He models fatherly provision

In one sense, everything we have talked about can be summed up under this heading. God is our provider—He meets our needs! In Gen. 22, after God had told Abraham to sacrifice his son but gave him a ram to sacrifice instead, Abraham called God “Jehovah Jireh,” which means “The Lord will provide.” And indeed, we see in the Bible that God truly meets every need that we have.

A. He meets our spiritual needs (Eph. 2:1-10; Phil. 2:12-13)
People don’t always think much about their spiritual needs, but in God’s eyes they are vitally important, because to Him we have no greater need than the need for salvation. God has done everything necessary to meet that need. Look at Eph. 2:1-10 [READ]. Paul describes our need in vv. 1–3, then he introduces God’s solution with two little words in v. 4—“but God!”

God made a way for us to be forgiven of our sins and now He is at work within us to deepen our relationship with Him and make us more effective in our service to Him. Phil. 2:13 says, “God… is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” God is at work in us spiritually, and our lives should reflect that.

It is so important for fathers to remember the spiritual needs of their children. Remember the study that I quoted earlier? Fathers have a tremendous impact on the spiritual lives of their children! If you don’t show your children that God is important in your own life, chances are that He will not be important in theirs. Fathers have a responsibility to teach their children about God and what He expects of us, and they must model these things for their children to see.

B. He meets our material needs (Matt. 6:25-34)

This involves our needs for food, shelter, clothing, etc. This is a need that fathers are supposed to meet, and as usual God sets the example for us. Look at Matt. 6:25-34 [READ]. Let me stop here for a moment because I want to emphasize the lesson that Jesus is trying to get across. Many of us worry at times about how we’re going to make ends meet, but we normally don’t think that worry is as serious of a sin as it really is. In reality, when we worry about our needs, it’s a big insult to God. To question whether or not God will provide for His own children is like a slap in the face. Think about it: most human fathers provide for their kids, but what do we call the ones who don’t? Deadbeats! Now consider this—to question whether or not God will provide for us is to suggest that God just might be a deadbeat dad. Do you see how serious that is?

But God is no deadbeat; rather, He is our perfect example because He meets our every need. But notice that God doesn’t provide all of our wants. He provides for our needs, and sometimes He chooses to give little more than that. But we can’t be upset with Him, because He has done exactly what He promised to do. So He doesn’t provide all of our wants, but let’s be honest—God is abundantly generous toward us, isn’t He? He has given us so much more than what we really need because He loves us. Let that generosity be a lesson, fathers. You don’t have to get your kids everything they want; but a father’s heart should be a generous heart, one that is willing to give abundantly to supply for the needs of his family.

C. He meets our emotional needs (Gal. 5:22-23)

God also provides for our needs emotionally. In His close relationship with us, He meets our emotional needs. In Gal. 5:22-23, notice what the Holy Spirit produces in our lives: “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” Many of those things correspond to emotions that we have, don’t they? So as the Spirit works to produce spiritual maturity in us, we get emotional maturity as well, kind of as a by-product. Our emotional needs are met as we become more like Christ and enjoy a deep relationship with our Heavenly Father.

God is setting an important example for fathers to follow. He longs for a close relationship with us; not a superficial relationship, but a closeness in which we understand the depth of His love for us and then respond to Him with love from our own hearts.

Fathers, do you tell your children often that you love them? Do you tell them that you’re proud of them? Do you hug them, even if they act like they don’t want you to? (Now you don’t have to hug them in front of their friends, but don’t stop hugging your children!) Do they know that your love is unconditional, that you will always love them no matter what, or do your actions or words tell them that they have to earn your love? As men, we are not the most emotional of beings ourselves, so thinking about our children’s emotional needs may not come naturally for us, but its important that we seek to meet these needs for our children in the way that only a father can.

God is our perfect example of fatherhood, but there is another side to all of this. If God is our example for a father, then the way He expects us to relate to Him is the way that we should relate to our fathers. We are called to honor them and respect them, when we are young we are to obey them, and we should never simply disregard their advice or treat them with disrespect. The way that you are supposed to treat God is the way that you are supposed to treat your father, so I would encourage you to think about how you can honor your father today.

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