Bill Cosby built a career on the humor that arises from the everyday life of the family. In some of his stand-up routines, he used to describe the way his father would discipline him, and he talked about how his dad was fond of saying, “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it!” I think that line even made it into some of the episodes of “The Cosby Show.”
Making jokes about the physical discipline of a child got a lot of laughs back then, but I suspect that the reaction would be much different today. There may have been some people who were offended by it back then—I really don’t know—but I suspect that there would be some outrage today. There would probably be a Facebook page calling for a boycott of Bill Cosby and a protest outside the offices of the network that aired his show. There might even be a congressional investigation into any potential connections between TV shows and child abuse.
Attitudes about child discipline have greatly changed in our country over the last few decades, and as a result many parents are asking questions about what is and what is not an acceptable way to discipline their children. Most of the debate and discussion today revolves around the practice of spanking. Is spanking really an acceptable method of discipline, or does it actually make children more aggressive and defiant?
As Christians, our first question should always be, “What does the Bible say about child discipline?” Since we have been studying the book of Proverbs lately, we’re going to take a look this morning at what Proverbs in particular has to say about this subject.
What does Proverbs teach about child discipline?
I. Parents must exert proper discipline on their children
According to the book of Proverbs, disciplining your children is one of the most serious responsibilities that you have as a parent. In fact, Proverbs says that your willingness to discipline your child reveals whether you love them or hate them! But what does Proverbs say about how to discipline your children? That will be our main focus today.
a. Parental discipline should include appropriate physical pain when necessary (13:24, 22:15, 23:13–14, 29:15)
This is easily the most controversial point from the teaching of Proverbs, and we’ll address that controversy in a moment. But first, let’s read the verses in question [READ 13:24, 22:15, 23:13–14, 29:15]. All of these verses speak of using a rod to discipline your children, and it seems quite clear that the verses are talking about striking your children in an appropriate way to use physical pain as a means of discipline.
Now the very idea of using physical pain to discipline your children is very controversial today. A number of pediatricians and psychologists are convinced that something like spanking can only have detrimental effects on your children. In fact, if you listen to some of them, it is almost a miracle that I’m standing before you today. I was spanked as a child, and according to their predictions, I should be a very aggressive adult who is vengeful and who uses violence to impose my will on other people. It is likely that I should be using drugs to mask the pain from my childhood years, and it is far more likely that I should be in prison rather than behind a pulpit.
I ran across one article online in which the author opposed spanking, and at the end of his article he used a series of questions and answers to sum up his main points. Here are a few of his questions and answers:
Q: What do virtually all juvenile delinquents have in common?
A: They have been raised by spankers.
Q: What was a common feature of the childhoods of Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein and Charles Manson?
A: Each one was relentlessly, severely, physically punished.
Q: What do most prisoners on death row have in common?
A: Plenty of spankings during childhood.
Q: Which child is destined never to join the company of felons?
A: One who is raised in a nurturing, attentive, supportive, non-spanking family.1
So according to that author, the case is closed—using a physical punishment like spanking will cause your child to be a juvenile delinquent and end up in prison. One pediatrician wrote, “Spanking demonstrates that it's all right for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people. Children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a good swat.”2
Now it should be noted that many critics of spanking fail to distinguish between spanking and child abuse. Even when we consider spanking, there are correct ways to do it, and incorrect ways to do it. But many critics place all forms of physical punishment into the same category, which is not an accurate way to assess them. Now we should be very clear at this point that the Bible never condones child abuse. We are not talking about causing severe, lasting harm to your child—we’re talking about pain that is significant but moderate. That’s why Solomon could say, “If you strike your child with a rod, he will not die.” He was so confident about that because he was talking about a physical punishment that was nowhere near bringing the child to the point of death.
All in all, if we take the Bible at its word, it is clear that appropriate physical punishment should be used when necessary. According to Proverbs, this is an effective and necessary way to train our children. Now at this point, it may be tempting to think, “Okay, I understand that people spanked their children back then, but haven’t we developed better methods of discipline today—methods that are more humane? Don’t we know more today about child psychology and development?” This line of thinking really challenges us to assess what we think the Bible really is. Is it simply a collection of human wisdom and understanding, or does it really contain wisdom from God? If it is just a collection of human wisdom, then we might be justified in thinking that we have better ways of living today, but if this book is truly wisdom from God, should we not believe that He knows what He’s talking about? Are we really supposed to believe that God didn’t understand child psychology when He inspired these verses?
Friends, God knows us inside and out. He knows what we need and He knows how we work. If he says that the proper use of physical punishment is good for our children, then we should believe Him and act accordingly.
But how do we make a proper use of physical punishment? Proverbs gives us some important guidelines.
b. Parental discipline should be applied in a spirit of love (13:24)
Disciplining your children is ultimately an expression of love for them, and that must be your motivation and your spirit when you carry out your discipline. Let’s look again at Prov. 13:24 [READ 13:24]. Ultimately, we discipline our children because we love them and we want them to live the right way. Now our children may not understand that when we have to spank them, but we should do all we can to communicate our love to them. We need to carry out our discipline in a manner of love. You should never spank your child just to “let off some steam” or to vent your own anger. If your temper gets the best of you, make sure you get yourself calmed down before you discipline your child. Send them to their room if you need to and get yourself under control before you discipline them. Spanking is not about getting revenge or “putting your child in his place” or humiliating your child; it is about training your child, pure and simple.
Spanking is not a way for you to release frustration; it is an expression of love for the child to help them learn right from wrong, and you must do all that you can to communicate that to them. So make sure your manner communicates love, and then express it with your words as well. Tell them that you love them, and even if they’re unhappy with you at the time, your words will stick with them.
c. Parental discipline should be applied diligently (13:24)
This lesson also comes from 13:24—“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” According to the dictionary, diligence is behavior that is marked by persevering, painstaking effort. The Hebrew word diligent comes from the same root as the Hebrew word for “dawn,” which may mean that this word carries the idea of getting an early start on something.
Diligence in discipline is so important because it provides consistency for your children. They will know what to expect from you, because if you are diligent you won’t be a punisher one day and a push-over the next! How frustrated do you get when you don’t know what to expect from a person on any given day? Imagine if your boss let you do certain things one day without correcting you, and then the next day he was all over your case for doing the same things! You wouldn’t know what you could do, and our kids experience the same frustration when there is no diligence and consistency from us.
Diligence will also let your kids know that you mean what you say. If you tell them that you will discipline them for a certain behavior and then you diligently follow up on what you said, they will learn that you mean business when you say something. If you give them a clear guideline and consistently back it up, you should be able to eliminate the use of threats, raising your voice, and repeating the same request five or six times before your children respond.
Now I can already see that this will be easier said than done with my own little girl. I know there will be days when I won’t feel like disciplining her because it will take me away from something else or it will require me to put out some more effort when I’m tired and frustrated. So I know I’ll have to fight against this temptation, and its very important that all of us seek to be diligent in discipline.
d. Parental discipline should be accompanied by instruction (29:15)
Look with me at Prov. 29:15 [READ 29:15]. Notice the intent of discipline—it is to give wisdom. Discipline is not an end in itself; it is a means to an end. It is meant to help your child learn and grow, so if there is no instruction with the discipline, the process is short-circuited.
This is one of the reasons that child abuse is so bad. Not only is the child physically harmed, but he’s never told how to avoid a beating in the future. So the child simply lives in uncertainty and fear because he doesn’t know why mom or dad was so angry in the first place.
I believe this lesson teaches us that we should never be cavalier about the way that we discipline our children. Sometimes we see parents who smack their children and then move on, or they quickly bend them over and give them a quick swat. Well, we may think that our children know what they’ve done wrong, but oftentimes they don’t—they need our instruction. And many times those reactions come from the parent’s anger or frustration rather than their love, so we need to be careful about our motives as well.
Our discipline must be accompanied by instruction or it will look much more like spite and vengeance than true discipline. We need to carefully explain things, and as you all know, oftentimes you have to be very specific with a child. They can’t necessarily apply principles to different situations, so they often need very specific instructions. And the idea of course is that as they embrace our instruction, then the need for discipline will become smaller and smaller.
There is certainly much more that could be said on this subject, and we haven’t even looked at the whole Bible—we’ve just singled out Proverbs today. But as you can see, there is much guidance and instruction in this book. If you still have some burning questions, then by all means, I would encourage you to do a full study of what the Bible says about parenting, and talk to the Christian parents here who have been through your stage of life before. Take your cues from our heavenly Father, and follow His example. You will find abundant inspiration and strength in Him.
1 From “Plain Talk About Spanking,” by Jordan Riak, http://nospank.net/pt2011.pdf Accessed 1/24/11.
2 From “Spanking: Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Child,” by William Sears, M.D. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t062100.asp Accessed 1/24/11.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Planting Trees--Proverbs series
As you all know, Carmen and I are in the early stages of the exciting adventure called “parenting.” We’re at that stage right now where Adrianna isn’t too hard to figure out. If she’s fussy, there are about four or five potential causes of her fussiness, and we can move down the checklist fairly quickly and get things figured out. I know things will change drastically from here, and I’m sure you’ll all have a few laughs at our expense as we try to figure this thing out.
I came across a song recently that I think beautifully captures the heart of what Christian parents are seeking to do as we raise our children. It’s a song by Andrew Peterson called “Planting Trees.” In this song, he compares the process of raising children to the act of planting trees, and his point is that in both activities, our goal is to leave behind a blessing for the people who come after us. When you plant a tree, oftentimes you are not the one who will receive the most benefit from its shade or its fruit—those who come after you will. In Peterson’s song, he wants us to think about raising children in the same way—that we will do it with the idea of leaving behind a blessing for future generations. In other words, our goal is to leave behind a gift in the form of our children that will be a blessing to others in the name of Jesus Christ.
Now that is certainly a lofty goal that can easily get hidden behind all the diapers and the temper tantrums and the sleepless nights. But how can we work toward a goal like that? Today we’re going to take a look at what the book of Proverbs has to say about raising children. There is much more that could be said about this subject, and that’s why people have written entire books about it. But today we’re just going to focus on the contribution that Proverbs makes to our understanding of biblical parenting.
I. Parents should be teaching moral principles to their children
I’m sure this sounds like stating the obvious, but let’s break this down into a few important points.
a. Parents bear the primary responsibility for teaching their children about life
This point is illustrated by the fact that much of Proverbs was written by Solomon for the express purpose of teaching his son. The last chapter also contains the teaching that a mother passed down to her son, so we might think of this book as a record of what we’re supposed to teach our children, because that’s the express purpose of so much of it. Just listen to how often this parent-child focus comes up in this book:
1:8–9: “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”
3:1–2: “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, 2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.”
4:10: “Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many.”
4:20: “My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.”
5:1–2: “My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, 2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.”
6:20: “My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching.”
7:1: “My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you;”
31:1: “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him.”
It’s clear that these parents recognized how important their teaching responsibility was. They told their children that their lessons could add years to their lives and would help them understand life. With something that is so important, it is clear that we cannot pass this responsibility on to anyone else; it has been given to us by God, and we must willingly devote ourselves to it.
As parents, we cannot pass this responsibility on to schools. We cannot simply send our kids to school and assume that they will come out prepared for life. Schools are a service for parents to use to help their children grow academically, but they are not a substitute for parenting. They’re not really designed to address the moral and spiritual aspects of life, nor can they easily overcome a lack of discipline in the home. So schools are a service for parents, but not a substitute for parents.
Nor can we as parents pass the responsibility to raise our kids to the church. The church cannot make up for a lack of moral and spiritual teaching in the home. Think about this—if your child attends our Sunday School and is involved in our AWANA program, then our children’s ministries are teaching them for about three hours a week. That doesn’t even come close to the amount of time that they spend with you, especially when they’re young!
The church cannot make up for that time difference, nor can we match the influence that you have in your child’s life. Your children might hear about Christianity from me, but they’ll decide whether or not they think it’s true based on your example. If you don’t teach them spiritual lessons, they might still learn some things about God, but they’ll probably learn that God is the God of Sundays and maybe Wednesdays, but the rest of the week He seems to be irrelevant to Mommy and Daddy’s life.
Now this is not to say that you need to have a daily church service with your kids. (You should particularly make sure that you don’t take up an offering. They really wouldn’t like that very much!) It can be very beneficial to have a daily devotional time with your kids, and there are many good devotional books out there that can help you do that. But it may be even more beneficial to just take advantage of those brief moments throughout the day that give you a golden opportunity to help your kids see life from a biblical perspective. In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, Moses says, “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” This is plan “A” for teaching our children about the faith—parents using the everyday moments of life to pass on the faith to their children.
Not only do parents have the responsibility to teach moral principles to their children, but…
b. Parents should teach their children about every aspect of life
As you read through the book of Proverbs, you encounter teaching on a very wide range of subjects—everything from money to fearing God to sexuality and friendship and laziness and humility and leadership! Think of a question about almost any aspect of human life and behavior, and you can probably find at least one proverb that addresses it. I believe this shows us that our responsibility to teach our children extends to every aspect of life. There is no section of life that lies outside of our responsibility to teach our children. Now maybe you hear that and think, “That sounds great, Tim, but I’m no Solomon! I’m not an expert in every area of life.” Neither am I, but that’s why Solomon and others wrote down godly wisdom for us, so we could pass it on to our children, too. We don’t have to personally know all the answers—we just need to remember that we have a message from God that does have all the answers and we can always turn to it to learn what we need.
There should be no issue that is off-limits for a discussion with our kids. We should remind them of that, and even beyond that we should take the initiative to talk to our kids about potentially embarrassing subjects. Perhaps the granddaddy of all embarrassing subjects is the issue of sexuality. I don’t know of anyone who really enjoys talking about this issue with their kids, but we have to get past that knot in our stomachs and address this issue. You don’t want the bathroom wall at school to be your child’s primary teacher on sexuality! And when our children are being told today that casual sex doesn’t hurt anyone and homosexuality is okay, we have got to counter those messages. We can’t simply assume that our children will adopt our point of view on those matters; we must lovingly teach them about God’s good plan for sexuality and patiently deal with any questions that they have.
So we must take the lead in teaching our kids in every area of life, and…
c. Parents should start to instruct their children at a young age
Look at Prov. 4:1–4 with me. Notice how Solomon describes himself when his father began to instruct him about life [READ 4:1–4]. Solomon describes himself as being just a “tender” child when he started to learn these things. That word refers to a child whose character is in the early stages of development. He was in his formative years when he began to receive this instruction. This is a great observation to help us see the importance of teaching our kids when they’re young. We always remark about how our children grow up so fast. We need to remember that as we think about teaching them! We need to remember that they probably know more than we think they do, and they can probably understand more than we think they can. Do you remember how frustrating it was for you as a child when people treated you like you were dumb? Well, remember that as you deal with your children—they will often be slightly ahead of where we think they are, so get an early start on teaching them.
For all of you parents around my age, I think it is almost certain that we will have to teach our kids about sexuality at a younger age than we were taught. That brings up some tricky questions about how to be age-appropriate as we deal with that issue, but we probably need to get started sooner than we think.
Or if you know that you want to take a particular approach to dating. It’s probably not a good idea to wait until your kids are 16 or 17 and then say, “Oh, by the way—here’s how we want to approach dating.” Start young and help them see your point of view so they’ll know what to anticipate.
Now I know that for many of you, its too late to get an early start on teaching your kids, but its never too late to serve in that teaching role for them. God can still provide many opportunities where they might come to you for guidance, or you can let them know that you want to serve in that role for them. It will certainly take some wisdom to approach a conversation like that. You don’t want to say, “Son, as I look at you, its pretty obvious that I messed up as a parent. But now I want to fix things. Whad’ya say?” No, it will probably require you to humbly say, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I have not been a perfect parent. I’m proud of who you are despite my imperfections. I don’t know if you feel like I failed to teach you about certain things, but I’d like to help you now if there’s any way that I can.” And from there, you can gently ask about different things in their lives.
It may not be possible to travel back in time, but its always possible to seek to do what God has called us to do. And when you make that commitment, oftentimes you’ll be amazed at the doors that God will open that may have seemed like they were permanently shut.
As parents, we have a precious and sacred responsibility as we raise our children. We will probably feel inadequate more often than not, and we may often get discouraged. But God has marked out a clear path for us, and as the psalmist has said, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true and righteous altogether” (Ps. 19:7–9). The path may not be easy, but it is firm and sure, and it provides us with a firm footing from which to lift our children up as a gift to God and to the world.
I came across a song recently that I think beautifully captures the heart of what Christian parents are seeking to do as we raise our children. It’s a song by Andrew Peterson called “Planting Trees.” In this song, he compares the process of raising children to the act of planting trees, and his point is that in both activities, our goal is to leave behind a blessing for the people who come after us. When you plant a tree, oftentimes you are not the one who will receive the most benefit from its shade or its fruit—those who come after you will. In Peterson’s song, he wants us to think about raising children in the same way—that we will do it with the idea of leaving behind a blessing for future generations. In other words, our goal is to leave behind a gift in the form of our children that will be a blessing to others in the name of Jesus Christ.
Now that is certainly a lofty goal that can easily get hidden behind all the diapers and the temper tantrums and the sleepless nights. But how can we work toward a goal like that? Today we’re going to take a look at what the book of Proverbs has to say about raising children. There is much more that could be said about this subject, and that’s why people have written entire books about it. But today we’re just going to focus on the contribution that Proverbs makes to our understanding of biblical parenting.
I. Parents should be teaching moral principles to their children
I’m sure this sounds like stating the obvious, but let’s break this down into a few important points.
a. Parents bear the primary responsibility for teaching their children about life
This point is illustrated by the fact that much of Proverbs was written by Solomon for the express purpose of teaching his son. The last chapter also contains the teaching that a mother passed down to her son, so we might think of this book as a record of what we’re supposed to teach our children, because that’s the express purpose of so much of it. Just listen to how often this parent-child focus comes up in this book:
1:8–9: “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”
3:1–2: “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, 2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.”
4:10: “Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many.”
4:20: “My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.”
5:1–2: “My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, 2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.”
6:20: “My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching.”
7:1: “My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you;”
31:1: “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him.”
It’s clear that these parents recognized how important their teaching responsibility was. They told their children that their lessons could add years to their lives and would help them understand life. With something that is so important, it is clear that we cannot pass this responsibility on to anyone else; it has been given to us by God, and we must willingly devote ourselves to it.
As parents, we cannot pass this responsibility on to schools. We cannot simply send our kids to school and assume that they will come out prepared for life. Schools are a service for parents to use to help their children grow academically, but they are not a substitute for parenting. They’re not really designed to address the moral and spiritual aspects of life, nor can they easily overcome a lack of discipline in the home. So schools are a service for parents, but not a substitute for parents.
Nor can we as parents pass the responsibility to raise our kids to the church. The church cannot make up for a lack of moral and spiritual teaching in the home. Think about this—if your child attends our Sunday School and is involved in our AWANA program, then our children’s ministries are teaching them for about three hours a week. That doesn’t even come close to the amount of time that they spend with you, especially when they’re young!
The church cannot make up for that time difference, nor can we match the influence that you have in your child’s life. Your children might hear about Christianity from me, but they’ll decide whether or not they think it’s true based on your example. If you don’t teach them spiritual lessons, they might still learn some things about God, but they’ll probably learn that God is the God of Sundays and maybe Wednesdays, but the rest of the week He seems to be irrelevant to Mommy and Daddy’s life.
Now this is not to say that you need to have a daily church service with your kids. (You should particularly make sure that you don’t take up an offering. They really wouldn’t like that very much!) It can be very beneficial to have a daily devotional time with your kids, and there are many good devotional books out there that can help you do that. But it may be even more beneficial to just take advantage of those brief moments throughout the day that give you a golden opportunity to help your kids see life from a biblical perspective. In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, Moses says, “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” This is plan “A” for teaching our children about the faith—parents using the everyday moments of life to pass on the faith to their children.
Not only do parents have the responsibility to teach moral principles to their children, but…
b. Parents should teach their children about every aspect of life
As you read through the book of Proverbs, you encounter teaching on a very wide range of subjects—everything from money to fearing God to sexuality and friendship and laziness and humility and leadership! Think of a question about almost any aspect of human life and behavior, and you can probably find at least one proverb that addresses it. I believe this shows us that our responsibility to teach our children extends to every aspect of life. There is no section of life that lies outside of our responsibility to teach our children. Now maybe you hear that and think, “That sounds great, Tim, but I’m no Solomon! I’m not an expert in every area of life.” Neither am I, but that’s why Solomon and others wrote down godly wisdom for us, so we could pass it on to our children, too. We don’t have to personally know all the answers—we just need to remember that we have a message from God that does have all the answers and we can always turn to it to learn what we need.
There should be no issue that is off-limits for a discussion with our kids. We should remind them of that, and even beyond that we should take the initiative to talk to our kids about potentially embarrassing subjects. Perhaps the granddaddy of all embarrassing subjects is the issue of sexuality. I don’t know of anyone who really enjoys talking about this issue with their kids, but we have to get past that knot in our stomachs and address this issue. You don’t want the bathroom wall at school to be your child’s primary teacher on sexuality! And when our children are being told today that casual sex doesn’t hurt anyone and homosexuality is okay, we have got to counter those messages. We can’t simply assume that our children will adopt our point of view on those matters; we must lovingly teach them about God’s good plan for sexuality and patiently deal with any questions that they have.
So we must take the lead in teaching our kids in every area of life, and…
c. Parents should start to instruct their children at a young age
Look at Prov. 4:1–4 with me. Notice how Solomon describes himself when his father began to instruct him about life [READ 4:1–4]. Solomon describes himself as being just a “tender” child when he started to learn these things. That word refers to a child whose character is in the early stages of development. He was in his formative years when he began to receive this instruction. This is a great observation to help us see the importance of teaching our kids when they’re young. We always remark about how our children grow up so fast. We need to remember that as we think about teaching them! We need to remember that they probably know more than we think they do, and they can probably understand more than we think they can. Do you remember how frustrating it was for you as a child when people treated you like you were dumb? Well, remember that as you deal with your children—they will often be slightly ahead of where we think they are, so get an early start on teaching them.
For all of you parents around my age, I think it is almost certain that we will have to teach our kids about sexuality at a younger age than we were taught. That brings up some tricky questions about how to be age-appropriate as we deal with that issue, but we probably need to get started sooner than we think.
Or if you know that you want to take a particular approach to dating. It’s probably not a good idea to wait until your kids are 16 or 17 and then say, “Oh, by the way—here’s how we want to approach dating.” Start young and help them see your point of view so they’ll know what to anticipate.
Now I know that for many of you, its too late to get an early start on teaching your kids, but its never too late to serve in that teaching role for them. God can still provide many opportunities where they might come to you for guidance, or you can let them know that you want to serve in that role for them. It will certainly take some wisdom to approach a conversation like that. You don’t want to say, “Son, as I look at you, its pretty obvious that I messed up as a parent. But now I want to fix things. Whad’ya say?” No, it will probably require you to humbly say, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I have not been a perfect parent. I’m proud of who you are despite my imperfections. I don’t know if you feel like I failed to teach you about certain things, but I’d like to help you now if there’s any way that I can.” And from there, you can gently ask about different things in their lives.
It may not be possible to travel back in time, but its always possible to seek to do what God has called us to do. And when you make that commitment, oftentimes you’ll be amazed at the doors that God will open that may have seemed like they were permanently shut.
As parents, we have a precious and sacred responsibility as we raise our children. We will probably feel inadequate more often than not, and we may often get discouraged. But God has marked out a clear path for us, and as the psalmist has said, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true and righteous altogether” (Ps. 19:7–9). The path may not be easy, but it is firm and sure, and it provides us with a firm footing from which to lift our children up as a gift to God and to the world.
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Way of the Wicked--Proverbs series
I’m sure just about all of us have seen the movie “The Wizard of Oz.” I want you to think with me about the way that two characters in that movie are portrayed—first, Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, and second, the Wicked Witch of the West. Since Glinda is supposed to represent goodness and virtue, she is portrayed as a beautiful woman who appears with a dream-like glow about her. She is also loved and revered by all of the Munchkins. On the other hand, we have the Wicked Witch of the West, who is ugly as sin. Her skin is green and looks sickly. She also has a harsh voice and a horrible cackle when she laughs.
The reason I mention these characterizations is because we have a tendency to do something very similar with our own behavior. We often make our own behavior out to look as good as it can possibly be, and then we characterize wicked behavior in such a way that no honest person could ever accuse us of acting in a wicked way. But the reality for us as Christians is that we are much more like Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde—one person with a good nature and an evil nature that are in conflict with one another.
As we take a look today at what the book of Proverbs says about the wicked person, I think it is very important that we don’t automatically assume that we could never fit this description. We might hear a word like “wicked” and think “That could never be true of me!” Let’s allow this description to challenge us in areas where our behavior might fit this description more than we would like to admit.
Let’s also make sure that we use this description as a mirror to look at ourselves rather than a window to look at others. As we go through this study, it will be far too easy for us to say, “Oh—I see this in so-and-so’s life, so he must be a wicked person!” We might be committing the same error that Job’s friends made when they accused him of being wicked. There is no reason for our thoughts to focus on anyone but ourselves this morning. So let’s deal with this question:
What are the characteristics of a wicked person?
I. He makes a sinful use of his words
This should make perfect sense when we remember that Jesus said our words simply flow out of whatever fills our hearts. So if there is wickedness in your heart, it will show up in some way in your words. Let’s look at Prov. 10:11 together [READ 10:11]. Notice the contrast in this verse between something that flows freely and something that is concealed or hidden or restricted. The words of the righteous nourish and enhance the lives of the people around them. They may be very encouraging or compassionate words that lift the spirits of others.
But in this verse the wicked person has a much different design for his words. Here the wicked person uses words that conceal his evil thoughts and intentions toward others. He seeks to harm others with his words. Prov. 12:5 suggests that this might be done by deliberately giving someone bad advice [READ 12:5]. The wicked person here is giving counsel or advice that is deceitful. Perhaps he has slanted his advice in such a way as to make things beneficial for himself. But the righteous person, on the other hand, is concerned about treating people in a manner that is fair.
So notice that in both of these verses, the wicked person’s speech would not sound wicked, but instead it was covering up wicked thoughts and intentions. Thus, even the motivation behind our speech is important to the Lord. We’ve always been told that if we can’t say something nice about someone, we shouldn’t say anything at all, but perhaps we should also consider why we can’t say anything nice about them! Why are we only focusing on negative thoughts toward that person? So when we speak, the actual words that come out may sound fine, but the thoughts behind them need to be fine as well.
II. He has no concern for the rights of the poor
Let’s look at Prov. 29:7 together [READ 29:7]. This is an interesting statement. The wicked person doesn’t understand why the righteous person would be concerned to care about the rights of poor people. This is probably because the wicked person doesn’t see any personal benefit in such a concern. How would he benefit from doing right by poor people?
This gives us an insight into how the wicked person views his interactions with other people—he is looking for what he can get out of his relationships. Thus, when he considers the poor person, he doesn’t see any benefit to befriending them or standing up for them. Poor people don’t have any wealth or high status in society, so why should he be concerned about them and their rights?
But the righteous person sees things differently; he sees things from God’s point of view. He doesn’t think of his relationships in terms of what he can get out of them. I’m reminded of the words that Jesus spoke in Luke 14:12–14: “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
The wicked person unfortunately doesn’t see things from God’s point of view. God has always had a special interest in the poor and needy, and He has always desired that His people would show the same interest. That must be our endeavor.
III. He does not know how to show true mercy
Let’s read Prov. 12:10 [READ 12:10]. Let’s think about the depth of this contrast here. The righteous person’s mercy extends even to his animals—he cares for their well-being and sees to it that they are properly cared for. But the wicked person cannot even show proper mercy to human beings. He apparently attempts to show mercy but he ends up doing it in a cruel way.
I think an example of this could be when we are “brutally honest” with each other. Sometimes we feel the need to tell people like it is—or at least the way we think it is—and we might think that we’re being helpful but in reality we’re being very hurtful.
For instance, suppose that someone came to me one day and was very disappointed about something they had just been through. Let’s say that they had tried to start a small business from one of their hobbies and the thing just fell flat. Then suppose that I said, “You know, Billy Bob, the reality is that you’re just a terrible businessman, and you should have known that from the start. You’ll never amount to anything in business, and the sooner you realize that, the better!”
Now, in some strange way, I may think that I’ve been helpful to Billy Bob, but in reality I’ve been very cruel. It very well may be true that Billy Bob needs to learn some things before he tries to start another business, but with that approach I’ve offered him nothing but condemnation and rejection.
Oddly enough, we can think that we’re being merciful when we talk to people in that way, but we’re really being cruel. We do need to speak the truth, of course, but we are to speak the truth in love. We may need to be blunt at times, but we can be clear without being cruel.
IV. His life is gripped by fear and paranoia
I’m sure we’ve all had this experience after we’ve done something wrong. If you’re not willing to come clean, you live with an almost constant fear of being caught. Turn over to Prov. 28:1 [READ 28:1]. What a statement about the effects that wicked behavior can have on us! This observation is a testimony to the conscience that God has placed inside us. Romans 2:15 says that God’s law has been written on our hearts, and our conscience bears witness of it.
So when we do wrong and we know it, we tend to have that nagging feeling of guilt that leaves us unsettled and uneasy around others. We’ll always be wondering if they’re on to us and if they know our secret, and for that reason we can never totally be confident around others. This observation is a strong encouragement for us to avoid that kind of behavior. If we want to live with confidence and get rid of unnecessary fear, then we must pursue righteousness.
V. His reputation grows worse even after he is gone
Look with me at Prov. 10:7 [READ 10:7]. If you think about it, the idea that someone’s reputation would get worse after they die is a bit unusual. After someone passes away, our natural tendency is to minimize their flaws and exaggerate whatever was good about them. We tend to turn people into saints, not the other way around.
I think we’ve seen this rather clearly in the aftermath of Michael Jackson’s death in 2009. Some of the responses from various people can only be described as worship, and most people would just rather forget that he unfortunately led a deeply troubled life.
So for someone’s reputation to grow worse after they pass away is an unusual thing. The idea speaks to the powerful and long-lasting effects that wicked behavior can have. Its effects can even overcome this common tendency to downplay character flaws. So what sort of memory do you want to leave for people when you pass away? Do you want them to be blessed by your memory, or do you want them to be left with perhaps a bitterness against you that only gets worse with time? That latter option really could be a reality if we choose wicked behavior.
VI. He will be repaid in this life for his wickedness
Let’s look at Prov. 11:31 [READ 11:31]. Now don’t rush too quickly over the first part of this verse and misunderstand it. We might think that Solomon is saying that the righteous are repaid on the earth for their righteousness. That may be true, but that doesn’t seem to be what Solomon is saying here. He is using an argument from the lesser to the greater, so it seems that he is saying that the righteous will deal with bad consequences from their sins. And if that’s true for the righteous, then how much more will it be true for the wicked and the sinner! That’s the heart of the verse—if even the righteous have to deal with the consequences of their sins, then you know the wicked and the sinner will, to an even greater extent.
Now don’t let a few high-profile cases make you think that this verse isn’t true. We may look at someone like Hugh Hefner and think, “I sure don’t see how he’s being repaid on the earth!” He has produced pornography for decades, yet it may seem like God hasn’t done anything about it. But we don’t know the inside story of his life, and beyond that, his life hasn’t yet come to an end. I would like to see him place his faith in Jesus and leave all of that filth behind, but God might have some very painful consequences in store for him before he passes away.
So we shouldn’t let a few supposed exceptions to this rule make us think that we can embrace a wicked lifestyle and get away with it. That would be the wrong lesson to take away from the patience that God exercises toward all of us. God’s patience should not be mistaken for a failure of justice. He will do what is just, and we can count on that!
Need I say more about what characterizes the wicked person and what his wicked behavior will receive? This description from Proverbs is a powerful motivation for us to seek to live according to God’s standards. And we must make sure that we’re measuring our conduct by God’s standard and not another standard. This description today may have shown us some areas where we have tried to re-draw the line between right and wrong, but that in itself is wicked! Let us ask for God’s forgiveness where we are wrong and ask for His strength to help us grow. That is a prayer that He will be delighted to answer.
The reason I mention these characterizations is because we have a tendency to do something very similar with our own behavior. We often make our own behavior out to look as good as it can possibly be, and then we characterize wicked behavior in such a way that no honest person could ever accuse us of acting in a wicked way. But the reality for us as Christians is that we are much more like Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde—one person with a good nature and an evil nature that are in conflict with one another.
As we take a look today at what the book of Proverbs says about the wicked person, I think it is very important that we don’t automatically assume that we could never fit this description. We might hear a word like “wicked” and think “That could never be true of me!” Let’s allow this description to challenge us in areas where our behavior might fit this description more than we would like to admit.
Let’s also make sure that we use this description as a mirror to look at ourselves rather than a window to look at others. As we go through this study, it will be far too easy for us to say, “Oh—I see this in so-and-so’s life, so he must be a wicked person!” We might be committing the same error that Job’s friends made when they accused him of being wicked. There is no reason for our thoughts to focus on anyone but ourselves this morning. So let’s deal with this question:
What are the characteristics of a wicked person?
I. He makes a sinful use of his words
This should make perfect sense when we remember that Jesus said our words simply flow out of whatever fills our hearts. So if there is wickedness in your heart, it will show up in some way in your words. Let’s look at Prov. 10:11 together [READ 10:11]. Notice the contrast in this verse between something that flows freely and something that is concealed or hidden or restricted. The words of the righteous nourish and enhance the lives of the people around them. They may be very encouraging or compassionate words that lift the spirits of others.
But in this verse the wicked person has a much different design for his words. Here the wicked person uses words that conceal his evil thoughts and intentions toward others. He seeks to harm others with his words. Prov. 12:5 suggests that this might be done by deliberately giving someone bad advice [READ 12:5]. The wicked person here is giving counsel or advice that is deceitful. Perhaps he has slanted his advice in such a way as to make things beneficial for himself. But the righteous person, on the other hand, is concerned about treating people in a manner that is fair.
So notice that in both of these verses, the wicked person’s speech would not sound wicked, but instead it was covering up wicked thoughts and intentions. Thus, even the motivation behind our speech is important to the Lord. We’ve always been told that if we can’t say something nice about someone, we shouldn’t say anything at all, but perhaps we should also consider why we can’t say anything nice about them! Why are we only focusing on negative thoughts toward that person? So when we speak, the actual words that come out may sound fine, but the thoughts behind them need to be fine as well.
II. He has no concern for the rights of the poor
Let’s look at Prov. 29:7 together [READ 29:7]. This is an interesting statement. The wicked person doesn’t understand why the righteous person would be concerned to care about the rights of poor people. This is probably because the wicked person doesn’t see any personal benefit in such a concern. How would he benefit from doing right by poor people?
This gives us an insight into how the wicked person views his interactions with other people—he is looking for what he can get out of his relationships. Thus, when he considers the poor person, he doesn’t see any benefit to befriending them or standing up for them. Poor people don’t have any wealth or high status in society, so why should he be concerned about them and their rights?
But the righteous person sees things differently; he sees things from God’s point of view. He doesn’t think of his relationships in terms of what he can get out of them. I’m reminded of the words that Jesus spoke in Luke 14:12–14: “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
The wicked person unfortunately doesn’t see things from God’s point of view. God has always had a special interest in the poor and needy, and He has always desired that His people would show the same interest. That must be our endeavor.
III. He does not know how to show true mercy
Let’s read Prov. 12:10 [READ 12:10]. Let’s think about the depth of this contrast here. The righteous person’s mercy extends even to his animals—he cares for their well-being and sees to it that they are properly cared for. But the wicked person cannot even show proper mercy to human beings. He apparently attempts to show mercy but he ends up doing it in a cruel way.
I think an example of this could be when we are “brutally honest” with each other. Sometimes we feel the need to tell people like it is—or at least the way we think it is—and we might think that we’re being helpful but in reality we’re being very hurtful.
For instance, suppose that someone came to me one day and was very disappointed about something they had just been through. Let’s say that they had tried to start a small business from one of their hobbies and the thing just fell flat. Then suppose that I said, “You know, Billy Bob, the reality is that you’re just a terrible businessman, and you should have known that from the start. You’ll never amount to anything in business, and the sooner you realize that, the better!”
Now, in some strange way, I may think that I’ve been helpful to Billy Bob, but in reality I’ve been very cruel. It very well may be true that Billy Bob needs to learn some things before he tries to start another business, but with that approach I’ve offered him nothing but condemnation and rejection.
Oddly enough, we can think that we’re being merciful when we talk to people in that way, but we’re really being cruel. We do need to speak the truth, of course, but we are to speak the truth in love. We may need to be blunt at times, but we can be clear without being cruel.
IV. His life is gripped by fear and paranoia
I’m sure we’ve all had this experience after we’ve done something wrong. If you’re not willing to come clean, you live with an almost constant fear of being caught. Turn over to Prov. 28:1 [READ 28:1]. What a statement about the effects that wicked behavior can have on us! This observation is a testimony to the conscience that God has placed inside us. Romans 2:15 says that God’s law has been written on our hearts, and our conscience bears witness of it.
So when we do wrong and we know it, we tend to have that nagging feeling of guilt that leaves us unsettled and uneasy around others. We’ll always be wondering if they’re on to us and if they know our secret, and for that reason we can never totally be confident around others. This observation is a strong encouragement for us to avoid that kind of behavior. If we want to live with confidence and get rid of unnecessary fear, then we must pursue righteousness.
V. His reputation grows worse even after he is gone
Look with me at Prov. 10:7 [READ 10:7]. If you think about it, the idea that someone’s reputation would get worse after they die is a bit unusual. After someone passes away, our natural tendency is to minimize their flaws and exaggerate whatever was good about them. We tend to turn people into saints, not the other way around.
I think we’ve seen this rather clearly in the aftermath of Michael Jackson’s death in 2009. Some of the responses from various people can only be described as worship, and most people would just rather forget that he unfortunately led a deeply troubled life.
So for someone’s reputation to grow worse after they pass away is an unusual thing. The idea speaks to the powerful and long-lasting effects that wicked behavior can have. Its effects can even overcome this common tendency to downplay character flaws. So what sort of memory do you want to leave for people when you pass away? Do you want them to be blessed by your memory, or do you want them to be left with perhaps a bitterness against you that only gets worse with time? That latter option really could be a reality if we choose wicked behavior.
VI. He will be repaid in this life for his wickedness
Let’s look at Prov. 11:31 [READ 11:31]. Now don’t rush too quickly over the first part of this verse and misunderstand it. We might think that Solomon is saying that the righteous are repaid on the earth for their righteousness. That may be true, but that doesn’t seem to be what Solomon is saying here. He is using an argument from the lesser to the greater, so it seems that he is saying that the righteous will deal with bad consequences from their sins. And if that’s true for the righteous, then how much more will it be true for the wicked and the sinner! That’s the heart of the verse—if even the righteous have to deal with the consequences of their sins, then you know the wicked and the sinner will, to an even greater extent.
Now don’t let a few high-profile cases make you think that this verse isn’t true. We may look at someone like Hugh Hefner and think, “I sure don’t see how he’s being repaid on the earth!” He has produced pornography for decades, yet it may seem like God hasn’t done anything about it. But we don’t know the inside story of his life, and beyond that, his life hasn’t yet come to an end. I would like to see him place his faith in Jesus and leave all of that filth behind, but God might have some very painful consequences in store for him before he passes away.
So we shouldn’t let a few supposed exceptions to this rule make us think that we can embrace a wicked lifestyle and get away with it. That would be the wrong lesson to take away from the patience that God exercises toward all of us. God’s patience should not be mistaken for a failure of justice. He will do what is just, and we can count on that!
Need I say more about what characterizes the wicked person and what his wicked behavior will receive? This description from Proverbs is a powerful motivation for us to seek to live according to God’s standards. And we must make sure that we’re measuring our conduct by God’s standard and not another standard. This description today may have shown us some areas where we have tried to re-draw the line between right and wrong, but that in itself is wicked! Let us ask for God’s forgiveness where we are wrong and ask for His strength to help us grow. That is a prayer that He will be delighted to answer.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Righteousness--Satisfying the Highest Standard
Do any of you like to learn about the history and meaning of words? I have to admit—I’m kind of in that category myself. I like learning about words and their history and how they’ve changed over time. Most words tend to change their meaning a little bit over the years, and this is particularly true of words that get picked up as slang words. When a word catches on as a slang word, it usually ends up with a meaning that barely resembles its original meaning.
Such is the case with the word that we are going to study today, the word “righteous” or “righteousness.” Some of you might remember when “righteous” was a fairly popular slang word. Well, I did a little homework on this and found some interesting information. Apparently some of the slang synonyms of “righteous” include: awesome, cool, sweet, gnarly, rad, and tubular. One website had some examples of “righteous” being used in a sentence to help us get it right. Apparently after you finish a nice Italian dinner you can say, “Oh, man, that lasagna was righteous!” Or if you find yourself in a group of surfers you could say, “That wave was righteous man! That so totally rocked!” Or if you’re a fan of action movies you could apparently say, “Did you see Chuck Norris kick those guys in the head? That was righteous!”
Well, to some people, the word “righteous” might be nothing more than a slightly out-of-date slang word, but in the Bible it is a very significant word that we run across quite a bit. In the New American Standard translation, the words righteous, righteousness, or righteously occur 619 times! That means that if we don’t understand this word, then we’ll be lost throughout a fairly large portion of the Bible. And what’s more, this word plays a very important role in passages that talk about our standing before God. So today I want to spend a moment defining this word from the Bible and then we’ll apply it in an important passage that deals with how God looks at us and our sin.
I. What does the word “righteous” mean?
A. Synonyms of righteous
One of the best ways to get a quick handle on what a word means is to look at its synonyms. The Bible provides us with several synonyms for the word “righteous,” many of them in describing the character of God. Deut. 32:4 is one verse that describes God as righteous and gives us several synonyms to help us understand what that means [READ Deut. 32:4] You can see that we have several synonyms here that describe God’s character and the actions that flow from his character. He is called “upright,” which is the opposite of crooked; he is called “faithful,” which means that he is trustworthy and honest. Also, the idea of justice is mentioned twice—the verse says that His ways are just and He is without injustice. So the things that he does are fair. If we measure his actions by the standard of justice, we find that his actions line up exactly. Thus, a basic summary of this verse gives us the idea that righteous character is character that meets the standard of justice.
This idea also comes through in verses that use the word righteous as a virtual synonym for “innocent” [READ Deut. 25:1]. The righteous person in this verse is the one who had not violated the standard of law; he is the innocent party. Other verses convey the same idea. In 1 Kings 8:31–32, Solomon is saying a prayer of dedication for the temple in Jerusalem and he says, “If a man sins against his neighbor and is made to take an oath before Your altar in this house, then hear in heaven and act and judge Your servants, condemning the wicked by bringing his way on his own head and justifying the righteous by giving him according to his righteousness.”
Or you may remember that when Jesus was on trial before Pilate, Pilate’s wife “sent him a message saying ‘Have nothing to do with that righteous Man; for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of Him’”[Matt. 27:19]. Jesus could be called righteous because he had not violated the standard of law—he was innocent of all of the charges that were being brought against him.
So I believe that the synonyms of the word “righteous” start to give us a basic definition for this word—“righteousness” is character that meets the standard by which it is judged. It is character that conforms to proper standards.
B. Descriptions of righteous people
I think this definition becomes even more evident when we look at descriptions of righteous people that are found in the Bible. One of the first people described as “righteous” is Noah. Genesis 6:9 says, “Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with God.” This is not to say that Noah had never sinned, but by the standard of pursuing a relationship with God, Noah was apparently the only one who met the standard, and so God spared him from the flood.
Luke 1:6 is a great example as well. In that verse, Luke talks about the parents of John the Baptist and says, “They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord.” Again, this doesn’t mean that they had never sinned; it simply means that they lived according to God’s law and took the proper steps when they did sin. So their lives matched the standard that God laid out in his law.
C. A word picture of righteousness
Finally, we also have a word picture of righteousness to help us understand this term. In the Old Testament, the picture of having clean hands was used as a synonym for righteousness. For example in 2 Samuel 22:21, David sings a song of praise to the Lord and he says, “The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.” David repeated the same idea in Psalm 18:20. You might also remember in the New Testament when Pilate washed his hands after he turned Jesus over to the people. That was a symbolic way for Pilate to claim that he was innocent with regard to Jesus’ death.
We have a very similar word picture in English when we talk about someone being caught “red-handed.” The idea is that the person who is caught is guilty and we know they’re guilty because we caught them in the act. And so we say that we caught that person red-handed.
So the word picture of having clean hands communicates the idea of innocence, the idea that someone has not violated the standard of judgment. So if we could pull all of this information together, I think we could come up with a good definition of the word righteous. Since the idea behind this word is the idea of meeting a standard, I think we could say that righteousness is character that meets God’s standards. Thus, righteous actions are actions that line up with God’s standards. A righteous person is someone who meets God’s standards.
But you may notice a little problem at this point—the rest of the Bible tells us that on our own, we haven’t met God’s standards; we have fallen short of them. Romans 3:10 says, “no one is righteous—not even one.” So what can we say then? Is there any hope for us? How can we be righteous in the eyes of God?
II. How can we be righteous in the eyes of God? Romans 4:1–8
This is a question that Paul answers in Romans 4:1–8. Turn there with me if you would. In this passage, Paul uses the example of Abraham to illustrate how we can be seen as righteous in the eyes of God [READ 4:1–8]. This passage is loaded with bookkeeping terms, or accounting terms. Picture in your mind your bank statement or your credit card statement. In one category you have your debits—all of the withdrawals you’ve made or the charges that you have on your credit card. In another category you have your credits—all of the deposits you’ve made or the payments you’ve made. Now think about this in spiritual terms for a moment—picture that debits category. The debits category contains all of the sinful things you’ve ever done; that’s a big category. And then picture your credits category. What Paul is telling us is that when we place our faith in Jesus Christ, God pulls up our account and writes the word “righteous” in the credits category, so that now in his eyes, we have met his standards. Even though we haven’t earned it, God gives us that status as a free gift.
This is so important for us to understand—when you place your faith in Jesus Christ, God looks at you and says, “You have met my standards. On the basis of what my Son has accomplished for you, I accept you according to my standards.” It is so important for us to understand this because it really colors the way that we look at our relationship with God. Far too often we feel like God demands that we earn his love and acceptance, and that’s because of the way that we usually relate to one another. In human relationships, we often use our love and acceptance like bargaining chips to manipulate the behavior of others. We hold back our full love and acceptance from each other because as long as we do we feel like we still have something to dangle over the heads of others to get them to do what we want.
And it is so easy to think that God is doing the same thing when we pick up the Bible and read his commands. So what we have to realize is that when we place our faith in Jesus, we are fully and completely accepted by God. That means that his commands for us must serve some other purpose. In fact, his commands for us show us the way to live out the meaning of life; they show us how to fulfill the purpose for which we were created, which was to be God’s representatives in this world. Because when we follow the commands of God, he receives glory from our obedience, and we fulfill our created purpose, and then we get to enjoy all of the things that come from that, like inner peace, joy, fellowship with God, and so many other things.
So even though we in ourselves are not righteous, we can still be seen as righteous in God’s eyes by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. But being declared righteous is not the same as actually living a righteous life. That is the great struggle of the Christian life—becoming what God says we are in Jesus Christ. So…
III. How can we pursue righteous behavior in our lives? 2 Timothy 3:16
Fortunately, God has given us a tool that will train us in righteousness if we will allow it to shape our minds and our hearts. It’s called the Bible. In 2 Timothy 3:16–17, Paul writes, “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” If we are going to try to meet some kind of standard for living, we have to know what the standard is and how to get there, and that is what the Bible reveals to us. It spells out the standard in God’s commands; it gives us a living, breathing picture of the standard in what it records about Jesus; it tells us how God has given us His Holy Spirit to empower us to live up to that standard. So if we are going to live righteous lives, we’ve got to follow the advice of our trainer! We must allow the Bible to shape our opinions and attitudes; we must choose to act in the way that it tells us to act rather than just follow our own desires. And when we do, it will shape our character after the pattern of Christ’s character, which will allow us to live out the status of righteousness that we now enjoy in Jesus Christ.
I believe the last word on righteousness should be that of Paul from 2 Cor. 5:21 where he describes the great trade-off that Jesus accomplished for us in his death. Paul states, “God made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.” On the basis of Jesus’ death, God offers us the free gift of salvation, and everyone who will receive it can rest assured that they are accepted according to God’s standards. Because we have no righteousness of our own, God offers to credit the righteousness of Christ to our account so that we might be forgiven. Praise be to God for His indescribable gift!
Such is the case with the word that we are going to study today, the word “righteous” or “righteousness.” Some of you might remember when “righteous” was a fairly popular slang word. Well, I did a little homework on this and found some interesting information. Apparently some of the slang synonyms of “righteous” include: awesome, cool, sweet, gnarly, rad, and tubular. One website had some examples of “righteous” being used in a sentence to help us get it right. Apparently after you finish a nice Italian dinner you can say, “Oh, man, that lasagna was righteous!” Or if you find yourself in a group of surfers you could say, “That wave was righteous man! That so totally rocked!” Or if you’re a fan of action movies you could apparently say, “Did you see Chuck Norris kick those guys in the head? That was righteous!”
Well, to some people, the word “righteous” might be nothing more than a slightly out-of-date slang word, but in the Bible it is a very significant word that we run across quite a bit. In the New American Standard translation, the words righteous, righteousness, or righteously occur 619 times! That means that if we don’t understand this word, then we’ll be lost throughout a fairly large portion of the Bible. And what’s more, this word plays a very important role in passages that talk about our standing before God. So today I want to spend a moment defining this word from the Bible and then we’ll apply it in an important passage that deals with how God looks at us and our sin.
I. What does the word “righteous” mean?
A. Synonyms of righteous
One of the best ways to get a quick handle on what a word means is to look at its synonyms. The Bible provides us with several synonyms for the word “righteous,” many of them in describing the character of God. Deut. 32:4 is one verse that describes God as righteous and gives us several synonyms to help us understand what that means [READ Deut. 32:4] You can see that we have several synonyms here that describe God’s character and the actions that flow from his character. He is called “upright,” which is the opposite of crooked; he is called “faithful,” which means that he is trustworthy and honest. Also, the idea of justice is mentioned twice—the verse says that His ways are just and He is without injustice. So the things that he does are fair. If we measure his actions by the standard of justice, we find that his actions line up exactly. Thus, a basic summary of this verse gives us the idea that righteous character is character that meets the standard of justice.
This idea also comes through in verses that use the word righteous as a virtual synonym for “innocent” [READ Deut. 25:1]. The righteous person in this verse is the one who had not violated the standard of law; he is the innocent party. Other verses convey the same idea. In 1 Kings 8:31–32, Solomon is saying a prayer of dedication for the temple in Jerusalem and he says, “If a man sins against his neighbor and is made to take an oath before Your altar in this house, then hear in heaven and act and judge Your servants, condemning the wicked by bringing his way on his own head and justifying the righteous by giving him according to his righteousness.”
Or you may remember that when Jesus was on trial before Pilate, Pilate’s wife “sent him a message saying ‘Have nothing to do with that righteous Man; for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of Him’”[Matt. 27:19]. Jesus could be called righteous because he had not violated the standard of law—he was innocent of all of the charges that were being brought against him.
So I believe that the synonyms of the word “righteous” start to give us a basic definition for this word—“righteousness” is character that meets the standard by which it is judged. It is character that conforms to proper standards.
B. Descriptions of righteous people
I think this definition becomes even more evident when we look at descriptions of righteous people that are found in the Bible. One of the first people described as “righteous” is Noah. Genesis 6:9 says, “Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with God.” This is not to say that Noah had never sinned, but by the standard of pursuing a relationship with God, Noah was apparently the only one who met the standard, and so God spared him from the flood.
Luke 1:6 is a great example as well. In that verse, Luke talks about the parents of John the Baptist and says, “They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord.” Again, this doesn’t mean that they had never sinned; it simply means that they lived according to God’s law and took the proper steps when they did sin. So their lives matched the standard that God laid out in his law.
C. A word picture of righteousness
Finally, we also have a word picture of righteousness to help us understand this term. In the Old Testament, the picture of having clean hands was used as a synonym for righteousness. For example in 2 Samuel 22:21, David sings a song of praise to the Lord and he says, “The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.” David repeated the same idea in Psalm 18:20. You might also remember in the New Testament when Pilate washed his hands after he turned Jesus over to the people. That was a symbolic way for Pilate to claim that he was innocent with regard to Jesus’ death.
We have a very similar word picture in English when we talk about someone being caught “red-handed.” The idea is that the person who is caught is guilty and we know they’re guilty because we caught them in the act. And so we say that we caught that person red-handed.
So the word picture of having clean hands communicates the idea of innocence, the idea that someone has not violated the standard of judgment. So if we could pull all of this information together, I think we could come up with a good definition of the word righteous. Since the idea behind this word is the idea of meeting a standard, I think we could say that righteousness is character that meets God’s standards. Thus, righteous actions are actions that line up with God’s standards. A righteous person is someone who meets God’s standards.
But you may notice a little problem at this point—the rest of the Bible tells us that on our own, we haven’t met God’s standards; we have fallen short of them. Romans 3:10 says, “no one is righteous—not even one.” So what can we say then? Is there any hope for us? How can we be righteous in the eyes of God?
II. How can we be righteous in the eyes of God? Romans 4:1–8
This is a question that Paul answers in Romans 4:1–8. Turn there with me if you would. In this passage, Paul uses the example of Abraham to illustrate how we can be seen as righteous in the eyes of God [READ 4:1–8]. This passage is loaded with bookkeeping terms, or accounting terms. Picture in your mind your bank statement or your credit card statement. In one category you have your debits—all of the withdrawals you’ve made or the charges that you have on your credit card. In another category you have your credits—all of the deposits you’ve made or the payments you’ve made. Now think about this in spiritual terms for a moment—picture that debits category. The debits category contains all of the sinful things you’ve ever done; that’s a big category. And then picture your credits category. What Paul is telling us is that when we place our faith in Jesus Christ, God pulls up our account and writes the word “righteous” in the credits category, so that now in his eyes, we have met his standards. Even though we haven’t earned it, God gives us that status as a free gift.
This is so important for us to understand—when you place your faith in Jesus Christ, God looks at you and says, “You have met my standards. On the basis of what my Son has accomplished for you, I accept you according to my standards.” It is so important for us to understand this because it really colors the way that we look at our relationship with God. Far too often we feel like God demands that we earn his love and acceptance, and that’s because of the way that we usually relate to one another. In human relationships, we often use our love and acceptance like bargaining chips to manipulate the behavior of others. We hold back our full love and acceptance from each other because as long as we do we feel like we still have something to dangle over the heads of others to get them to do what we want.
And it is so easy to think that God is doing the same thing when we pick up the Bible and read his commands. So what we have to realize is that when we place our faith in Jesus, we are fully and completely accepted by God. That means that his commands for us must serve some other purpose. In fact, his commands for us show us the way to live out the meaning of life; they show us how to fulfill the purpose for which we were created, which was to be God’s representatives in this world. Because when we follow the commands of God, he receives glory from our obedience, and we fulfill our created purpose, and then we get to enjoy all of the things that come from that, like inner peace, joy, fellowship with God, and so many other things.
So even though we in ourselves are not righteous, we can still be seen as righteous in God’s eyes by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. But being declared righteous is not the same as actually living a righteous life. That is the great struggle of the Christian life—becoming what God says we are in Jesus Christ. So…
III. How can we pursue righteous behavior in our lives? 2 Timothy 3:16
Fortunately, God has given us a tool that will train us in righteousness if we will allow it to shape our minds and our hearts. It’s called the Bible. In 2 Timothy 3:16–17, Paul writes, “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” If we are going to try to meet some kind of standard for living, we have to know what the standard is and how to get there, and that is what the Bible reveals to us. It spells out the standard in God’s commands; it gives us a living, breathing picture of the standard in what it records about Jesus; it tells us how God has given us His Holy Spirit to empower us to live up to that standard. So if we are going to live righteous lives, we’ve got to follow the advice of our trainer! We must allow the Bible to shape our opinions and attitudes; we must choose to act in the way that it tells us to act rather than just follow our own desires. And when we do, it will shape our character after the pattern of Christ’s character, which will allow us to live out the status of righteousness that we now enjoy in Jesus Christ.
I believe the last word on righteousness should be that of Paul from 2 Cor. 5:21 where he describes the great trade-off that Jesus accomplished for us in his death. Paul states, “God made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.” On the basis of Jesus’ death, God offers us the free gift of salvation, and everyone who will receive it can rest assured that they are accepted according to God’s standards. Because we have no righteousness of our own, God offers to credit the righteousness of Christ to our account so that we might be forgiven. Praise be to God for His indescribable gift!
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