Mark Twain once said, “The difference between the right word and the nearly right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” If that’s the case, then we need to be very careful when choosing our words! Words are very powerful—just ask anyone who has been saved by reading the Bible, or anyone who loves poetry. When was the last time you read a book you just couldn’t put down? Chances are for many of us, it wasn’t that long ago. Words are powerful—we’ve known it since we were kids. Remember that playground philosopher who said, “Sticks and stone may break may bones, but words will never hurt me?” When do kids usually say that little rhyme? After they’ve already been hurt by someone’s words! They’ve already been hurt, and they’re trying to play it off. In reality, that little rhyme should probably go something like this: “Taunts and jeers will bring me to tears, but stones will only bruise me.”
Words are very, very powerful! The Bible attests to this fact in several places, but none more so than in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs has a lot to say about “the tongue” and the way we use it to speak to each other. Its teaching is summarized nicely by Prov. 18:21—“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Our words have tremendous power to do a lot of harm or a lot of good, and however we use it, we will have to deal with the consequences. Today I want to direct your attention to four types of speech that are mentioned in the book of Proverbs so that we might get a better picture of how to use our words. I think we will see how important it is for us to harness the power of the tongue for the right kind of speech.
I. Lying
Proverbs talks about several different types of speech, but the activity that it reserves the harshest condemnation for is lying. Look at a couple of verses with me [READ 6:16–17, 12:22]. The word “abomination” is a very strong word, and the fact that Solomon uses it to describe lying puts this sin in some pretty bad company. Other sins that are said to be abominable to God include homosexuality (Lev. 18:22–30, 20:13), idolatry (Deut. 7:25), human sacrifice (Deut. 12:31), engaging in occult activities (Deut. 18:9–14), practicing ritual prostitution (1 Kings 14:23 and following).
This seems like a very harsh view of lying, and it is, but it really makes sense when we realize that lying is the antithesis of God’s character. Titus 1:2 tells us that God cannot lie, and Hebrews 6:18 says it is impossible for God to lie. God is not capable of it; in fact, Jesus said that Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). So when we lie, we’re engaging in satanic behavior; we’re acting the way that Satan acts! No wonder God finds it abominable!
So we must ask ourselves, then—why do we commit an activity that is so reprehensible to God? If He hates lying so much, why do we do it? Well, there are many reasons why we lie, and Proverbs deals with several of them. We might lie for personal gain, but notice what Prov. 21:6 has to say about that [READ 21:6]. Sometimes we lie to try and get something. We might lie at work to get a promotion or a raise, or we might lie at school to get a good grade or a scholarship, but Proverbs says that this is a “fleeting vapor.” Whatever we gain through lying could immediately evaporate when our lie is uncovered. The verse also calls such lying “a snare of death.” As we’ve noted in our Proverbs series before, at that time the death penalty was assigned for a wide range of crimes, and lying under oath in a courtroom was potentially punishable by death.
That brings up another reason that we might lie—we might lie in order to hurt someone else. Prov. 24:28 envisions a courtroom setting, and it says [READ 24:28]. In this verse, Solomon was warning us about lying in order to damage someone in a court case. Most of us may never even be in a situation like that, but we can hurt people with lies in other ways. We might spread a false story about someone else in order to damage their reputation, or we may “exaggerate” certain facts in order to paint them in a negative light.
We might also lie to try and save ourselves from harm, but notice what Prov. 12:19 says about this [READ 12:19]. There’s some real irony here—we might lie to try and keep ourselves safe and secure, but in reality we have put ourselves on a shaky foundation. Lying really has the opposite effect; it actually exposes us to more harm and danger.
God says that truthful lips will be established, and when that comes from a God who cannot lie, I think we can trust Him. The bottom line on lying is found in Prov. 26:28 [READ 26:28].
That last verse connected lying with another type of speech mentioned in Proverbs, and that is flattery.
II. Flattery
Flattery is quite similar to lying, though they’re not exactly the same. Lying usually denies the truth, while flattery distorts it. It puts a bit of a spin on the truth, usually by exaggerating it or embellishing it. Because of this, flattery is also condemned in the book of Proverbs. Solomon frequently writes that it is characteristic of the behavior of an adulteress. He describes it as “smooth talk.” Look at a few verses with me [READ 2:16, 5:3, 6:24, 7:5, 7:21].
Solomon writes about the adulteress because he is writing from a man’s perspective, but certainly men can be guilty of this kind of flattery as well. When it happens in a romantic way like this, we call it “flirting,” and I don’t think anyone is better at this kind of flattery than high school and college-aged guys. Let’s face it guys—we love to be the ladies’ man, don’t we? It feels good to make the ladies smile and laugh. And sometimes even though we may have no intention of dating a girl, we’ll talk to her like we do. But we say, “What’s wrong with a little harmless flirting?” What’s wrong is that it can never be harmless. Flattery always hurts, because when you flatter someone, you give them a distorted view of reality. Guys, when you flirt with that girl, she’s going to start thinking things, and then she’s going to think that you’re thinking things, even if you aren’t thinking things! And before it gets out of hand, you’re forced to tell her the truth, and it crushes her because you led her on.
But flattery certainly isn’t limited to flirting. People flatter other people all the time in an attempt to get on their good side, but look at what Prov. 28:23 says about this [READ 28:23]. We looked at this verse not long ago. Notice that it does say that whoever rebukes will afterward find more favor. People don’t always accept correction very well, and that’s why its so much easier to flatter someone and just tell them what they want to hear.
But ultimately, it’s the person who rebukes that will find more favor, and why is that? Well, look at Prov. 29:5 [READ 29:5]. When you flatter someone, you’re putting them in a vulnerable position because you’re giving them a distorted view of reality. It’s like putting a pair of glasses on someone’s face that are out of focus. They won’t be able to see things correctly, and thus they might easily stumble and fall. That’s why this type of speech is condemned, and that’s why we should avoid it.
III. Hasty Speech
There is a third type of speech that is condemned in Proverbs, and we might simply call it “hasty speech.” This is essentially a failure to think before you speak. We may not think this is a very big deal, but when you consider the power of words as Proverbs describes it, you realize that we can’t afford to be careless in how we handle our speech.
Guarding our speech is a bigger task that you might think. The average person spends one-fifth of his or her life talking. If all of our words were put into print, a single day’s words would fill a 50-page book, while in a year’s time the average person’s words would fill 132 books of 200 pages each. That’s 26,400 pages of text, and it all came out of your mouth!
Among all of those words, there are bound to be some that were spoken in anger, carelessness, or haste. Look at Prov. 10:19 [READ 10:19]. Prov. 17:27 has the same idea [READ 17:27]. Notice that the end of that verse associates hasty speech with a short temper. The very next verse is one of my favorites on the subject. Look at 17:28 [READ 17:28]. Silence is connected with thinking and deliberation. It is so important that we think before we speak, because our words are so powerful. They can hurt other people; look at Prov. 12:18 [READ 12:18]. We can also hurt ourselves with our words [READ 13:3, 21:23].
Calvin Coolidge once said, “I’ve never been hurt by something I didn’t say.” When we say something, we have to deal with the consequences that our words bring about. Our words have tremendous power to hurt other people, so we must think before we speak.
The bottom line on hasty speech is found in Prov. 29:20 [READ 29:20]. Think about that for a moment—there is more hope for a fool than for the person who is hasty in his words. Remember that a fool is one who does not fear God and does not understand the way that God’s world works, but as we just read, as long as a fool keeps his mouth shut, other people might think he is wise, and he can spare himself a lot of trouble! But for the person who cannot control his words, there is little hope of avoiding trouble.
IV. Kind Words
The final type of speech that Proverbs deals with is a positive one—kind words. This kind of speech stands in contrast to everything else we have seen so far. Solomon has had nothing but condemnation for the types of speech that we have seen so far, but kind words are recommended and praised. Let’s read a couple of verses [READ 15:4, 16:24].
Isn’t it true that words can bring up emotions within us that are comforting and pleasant? They really can have positive health benefits for us as well. Another verse mentions a specific ailment that kind words can cure, and that is anxiety [READ 12:25]. When you’re weighed down by worry and fear, it can mean so much just to know that someone cares. A compliment, a kind greeting, an empathetic tone of voice—all of these things can be like medicine to the heart that is weighed down by anxiety. The bottom line for kind words is found in Prov. 15:23 [READ 15:23].
Friends, when kind words have this kind of power and benefit for others, why don’t we use them more often? We may have a friend or a loved one who means the world to us, but too often it just feels awkward to tell them that. I don’t know exactly why that is, but its sad, and I think we need to change that reality. A kind word is a very simple token of God’s love that we can give to someone else, and its impact can be huge. Now certainly we need to put actions behind our words when that’s appropriate, and the Bible tells us to do that, but kind words are a very simple gift that we can all give away every day. Whoever you are, its very, very rare that you won’t talk to at least one other person every day, and speaking kind words to that person is a very simple way to show God’s love.
We’ve looked at four different types of speech today, and you may have noticed, but the ratio of bad kinds of speech to good kinds of speech was 3 to 1. I think this tells us that it is much more common for us to use our words in sinful, negative ways rather than godly, positive ways. But let’s just keep in mind what we’ve learned. First, lying does not actually achieve what we think it will. We might think that lying is a way to protect ourselves or to get ahead, but in reality when we lie we are simply inviting more trouble into our lives.
Second, flattery is a subtle trap for other people because we are giving them a distorted view of reality. It is not kind to flatter other people—on the contrary, it is deceptive and potentially harmful to them.
Third, we have to make it a point to think before we speak. Since words are as powerful as they are, we can’t simply toss them around or blurt them around without thinking about it. That’s like casually handling a loaded gun, so if your mouth is liable to go off at any moment, you’ve got to learn to keep the safety on.
Fourth, remember that power that kind words have to do good for other people. You can help someone’s emotional and even physical well-being simply by speaking some kind words to them. If you are ever going to be quick to speak, let it be an encouraging word that will lift someone else’s spirits.
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