Responding to Homosexuality with Grace and Truth--Political Issues Series

            Balance is one of the most difficult things to achieve in life. It takes our bodies quite a while to learn how to get all of our muscles working together to keep us balanced as we walk or ride a bike. Who doesn’t struggle to maintain a balanced diet? How many of us feel like we’ve achieved a healthy balance between our jobs and our responsibilities at home?

            Maintaining balance is a constant challenge for us, and the situation is no different as we try to respond to homosexuality. Many churches today are embracing one of two extremes on this subject—they are either embracing it with open arms and removing the label of “sinfulness” from it, or they are returning the anger and suspicion that they are receiving from some pro-gay activists.

            Both of these responses are wrong, but how can we forge a balanced response in which we neither approve of homosexuality nor treat homosexuals with hatred and arrogance? Well, as we did with our series on abortion, we must consider the example of Jesus, who perfectly embodied both grace and truth. So today, we are going to consider how to respond to homosexuality with these two qualities. As we did with abortion, we are going to begin with the idea of truth and then balance our defense of the truth with grace.

1. How can we respond to homosexuality with truth?

            A. We must embrace the proper attitude toward homosexuality

            This step requires a delicate balancing act itself! On the one hand, we must not view homosexuality as “more sinful” than other sins. Now to be clear, all sins are NOT created equal in terms of their effects in the world. Murder clearly has different effects than selfishness, and for that reason it has different consequences as well. But in terms of making us guilty in light of God’s commands, all sins are exactly the same. James put it this way in James 2:10-11 (this is from the New Living Translation, which I think says it well): “For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God's laws. ¹¹ For the same God who said, "You must not commit adultery," also said, "You must not murder." So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law.”

            So we must not place homosexuality in a special category, as though it makes a person “more guilty” in the eyes of God. If we do, that mindset can easily foster pride and arrogance in our hearts. However, I think we are often tempted to place homosexuality in a different category than other sins for two reasons. First, very few of us have ever dealt with that temptation; thus, it is very foreign to us. We’re not likely to think that a sin is worse than other sins if we have been tempted to commit it. If anything, we want to lessen the severity of a sin in that situation! But since so many of us have never walked in the homosexual’s shoes, so to speak, its easier for us to treat that sin differently.

            Second, we may place homosexuality in a special category because we’re often repulsed by the way that it is celebrated today. I have yet to see anyone organize a liar’s-pride parade, but all around us today we see gay pride parades that openly flaunt and celebrate this sin. Its not hard to feel offended by such things, but that still doesn’t mean that we should consider homosexuality to be “more sinful” than other sins.

            On the other hand, we must not view homosexuality as “no big deal,” either. This is the trend of our culture, and we must not get swept along with it. It seems that a majority of people in our country today are still opposed to gay marriage, but I think most people don’t consider homosexuality itself to be that big of a deal. As long as we’re talking about two consenting adults, I think most people would say, “It’s a little weird, but its no big deal.” We must avoid adopting that attitude.

            Here is where I will start to sound like a fundamentalist—I strongly believe that we need to avoid watching, for entertainment purposes, movies and TV shows that portray homosexuality as acceptable behavior. When a TV show features a gay couple raising a child and calls it “The New Normal,” isn’t it obvious that there’s an agenda behind it? Especially when just under 4% of Americans identify themselves as gay or bisexual.¹ Gay behavior is not even statistically normal, yet the TV producers would have us believe it is “The New Normal,” and that this is what a “Modern Family” looks like.

            Now, its easy for us to tell ourselves that watching a show for entertainment doesn’t change our perspective about the behavior that the show portrays. After all, we don’t watch a show that portrays homosexuality in a good light and then think, “Hey, I’d like to try that!” Since we don’t have that response, we think that our attitude toward homosexuality has not been changed. But I would argue that if we are amused by portrayal of sin, it will de-sensitize us to that sin’s presence in our society. We will be less broken-hearted over it, and less likely to consider it a serious issue. At that point, we will be less likely to take serious steps to help people who are caught up in that lifestyle.

            Media like the television and movies appeal to our imagination, and we consistently underestimate how powerfully our imagination shapes our attitudes. One author has written, “When you stop to think about it, you soon realize that our imagination is what our whole social life is really based on…In practically everything we do, it’s the combination of emotion and intellect that we call imagination that goes to work.”³ Do we really believe that we can hand our imagination over to Hollywood for an hour—or two hours or three hours—every night, and somehow it will not infiltrate our attitudes and opinions? That idea is terribly naïve.

            So this is the delicate balance that we must maintain—we must walk a thin line between viewing homosexuality as either too sinful or not sinful enough. Trying to maintain this balance might make us reluctant to speak out on this issue, but we must not embrace that approach either.

            B. We must stand for and spread the truth of God’s Word concerning homosexuality

            As we discussed in our series on abortion, we can take advantage of opportunities that God may give us to speak out about homosexuality in public forums. These opportunities may be abundant right now as debates about gay marriage bring this subject into the limelight. The Bible gives very clear guidance to us to stand against efforts to legalize gay marriage. According to Romans 13, human governments are supposed to discourage behavior that is wrong and promote behavior that is right, and we need to remind our government about this duty.

            We can make a very clear moral case against something like gay marriage from Scripture, and because the Bible tells us the truth, it is not surprising to discover that secular research backs up our claims. Just recently, a sociologist at the University of Texas published a study which demonstrates that children who are raised by two gay parents are worse-off in dozens of different categories than children raised by heterosexual parents. The study examined more than 40 categories of social, emotional, and relational well-being and found that children of gay parents are worse-off in almost all of them. These children are more likely to have problems with impulse control, depression, and thoughts of suicide, and are more likely to need mental health therapy.²

            These findings come as no surprise to those of us who believe the Bible, and we must be willing to proclaim these things. But as with our response to abortion, we must be quick to share the Gospel as well. Forgiveness is available to anyone who will repent of their sins and trust Christ, and we must make sure that message comes through loud and clear.

2. How can we respond to homosexuality with grace?

            A. We must cultivate a loving atmosphere in our church which allows people to fight against sin without fear of unjust judgment and rejection

            This statement is an observation about church life in general. We must strive for this kind of atmosphere whether we’re talking about homosexuality or any other sin. Each person in our church needs to feel that they can discuss their struggles with someone here and receive help rather than hatred. Someone once said that the church is the only army in the world that shoots its wounded, and unfortunately that can be true at times. Each one of us needs to fight against the sins of gossip and pride so that our sins do not become the point of entry for Satan to devour one of our brothers or sisters.

            As I understand it, most homosexuals deal with a significant amount of shame over the temptations that they are facing, especially when they first come to grips with their desires. The last thing we should desire as a church is for such a person to feel like he or she has to wrestle with their temptations alone. Secrecy allows sin to thrive because it creates isolation from others. The Bible compares our relationship as Christians to a human body, so when isolation occurs in the church its like when a part of our body loses blood flow. For that part of the body to regain health, it must have proper blood flow restored; in our spiritual lives, those walls of isolation must be broken down.

            This is why it is spiritually devastating to people when they face unjust judgment and rejection—its like they are amputated from the body! Now I emphasize unjust judgment and rejection because the Bible does call for separation from a sinful person at a certain point, but that point is not while a person is battling temptation. Each person in this church needs to believe that they will receive help from others as long as they desire to do battle against sin. Its been said that sunlight is a great disinfectant, so we need to work toward a culture in our church that allows for transparency, so that we can bring our sins out into the open and leave them to die of exposure at the foot of the cross!

As a church, we are obviously a collection of individuals. So what might you as an individual need to do to respond with grace to someone who is battling homosexuality?

            B. We, as individuals, must humbly walk beside our brother or sister as he or she battles temptation

            Galatians 6:1-5 is an excellent passage to reflect on at this point. The Apostle Paul opens that passage by writing, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” Here, the age-old question from Cain receives an affirmative answer—am I my brother’s keeper? Yes; yes you are! Now the picture here is not one of creating a “nanny state” in the church where we are prying into each other’s lives. The picture is of fellow travelers helping each other up after one of them has fallen, and we are commanded to provide such spiritual assistance.

            Paul then issues a warning to those who would help: “Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” The temptation here seems to be that of pride, as we will see in v. 3.

            Verse two says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ,” which is probably a reference to Christ’s command to love others as ourselves. Then comes the warning again: “For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” Here is the temptation that we face when we see a brother caught in sin—we may think we are too good to get our hands dirty with the mess they have made. Or, we may play the comparison game and pat ourselves on the back because we appear to be better than our brother. But Paul warns us not to go there in v. 4-5: “But let each one test his own work (i.e. don’t compare yourself to your brother), and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.” I think that last statement refers to our judgment before Christ to determine our rewards from Him. That judgment will not be on a curve! He will not assess how well we did compared to others; He will judge us by the standard of His commands.

            So we have here in this passage a command to help restore a brother who is caught in sin. As we think particularly about homosexuality, helping someone in that sin will most likely take the form of providing accountability and friendship. Is that brother hanging out with people who are pulling him into that lifestyle? If so, we can provide friendship and encouragement to sever those ties. Is our brother visiting places where homosexuals go to connect? If so, we can hold him accountable for staying away from those places. We may need to make ourselves available to take a phone call or make a visit at any time of day to provide effective accountability.

            It is also likely that you will need to help this brother deal with one or both of the common roots of homosexual behavior—pornography and sexual abuse. We all have our initial exposure to sexuality from something, and for some people, that first exposure is unfortunately forced upon them by an abusive person. A homosexual may have been started down that path by someone who seduced them or abused them. In those cases, you will need to help the person understand that spiritual cleansing and healing that is available to them through Jesus Christ. You may need to direct that person to a professional ministry like Exodus International, who can help them heal on every level.

            Other people have chosen the path of homosexuality after exposure to pornography. You’ve heard the old saying, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire?” Well, where there’s sexual sin, there’s pornography. You can pretty much count on it, so you may need to provide accountability for someone in that area as well. Help them destroy whatever material they may have; be willing—with their permission—to review bank statements or credit card statements to ask about questionable purchases; set up systems to hold them accountable with their Internet browsing.

            You can see how much personal involvement may be necessary to help a person break free from the chains of homosexuality, but let us never doubt that change is possible, even from this lifestyle. In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul writes out a long list of sinful lifestyles which includes homosexuality, but at the end of the list he says, “such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God (1 Cor. 6:11).” With the Lord there is always power for transformation; may we seek to be agents whom God can use to do His transforming work in others.

  

Notes:

1. http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/05/americans-have-no-idea-how-few-gay-people-there-are/257753/  Accessed 10/6/12.

2. http://www.worldmag.com/2012/08/good_deeds_punished  Accessed 9/26/12. See the full article at http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0049089X12000610.

3. Northrop Frye, The Educated Imagination, as quoted by Warren W. Wiersbe in Preacing and Teaching With Imagination (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1994), 61.