Some of you will remember the old TV show “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” (For you younger folks, MTV once produced a very similar show called “Cribs.”) Robin Leach was the host of “Lifestyles,” and on every show he would give us a behind-the-scenes look at the lavish comfort that was enjoyed by some rich and famous person. Normally, the show would focus on that person’s house, their cars, and all of their other possessions. The producers of the show were often criticized for their apparent adoration of people who often looked very selfish, but Robin Leach simply responded to the criticism by saying, “No one would watch ‘Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown.’”
I suppose he was probably correct. People want to learn about the rich and famous because that’s what many people aspire to be. You can gain a crowd easily by promising people that you can tell them how to be wealthy.
Well, believe it or not, Proverbs actually describes the lifestyle of a person who is both wise and prosperous. It also tells us what we should do if we would like to become poor. Today we’re going to look at what Proverbs says about the path to prosperity and the path to poverty.
Now as we look at this subject today, it is very important that we remember that proverbs are principles, not promises. Proverbs tell us what the normal outcome of our behavior will be unless some other factor intervenes. So as we look at the path to prosperity, God is not promising any of us that we will be wealthy. Sometimes He allows other factors to intervene. Sometimes people become wealthy without any connection to wisdom. Some people are rich simply because they are 6’6” and 300 pounds—we call these people “football players.” Some people are rich in spite of their foolishness—we call these people “rock stars.” And sometimes people are poor despite the fact that they are very wise. So don’t automatically assume that rich people have been wise and poor people have been foolish. That isn’t always the case. (By the way, this is why we have the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible—it tells us how to live when life is not like we expect.)
So with this frame of reference in mind, let’s take a look at the path to prosperity and the path to poverty.
I. What characterizes the path to prosperity?
A. Honoring the Lord with your money (3:9–10)
Let’s look at Prov. 3:9–10 [READ 3:9–10]. This is quite a statement, but it makes sense when we remember the biblical concept that we are simply caretakers of what God has entrusted to us. So if we honor God with His money, it makes sense that He might entrust us with more of it.
Now at the time that these verses were written, honoring God with your money would have involved basically two things—first, paying your tithe to support the priests and Levites who served at the Temple; and second, being generous to the needy. Taking care of the needy was explicitly commanded in the Old Testament law, so if you did so you were obeying God and thus honoring Him.
Today, honoring God with your money would look very similar. The center of our worship as a community today is not the Temple but the church, so we can give to support the ministries of our church. We also have organizations today that seek to help the church—like radio programs, Bible colleges, and missions agencies. We can give to missionaries and of course we can give to those in need. These are all ways that we can honor the Lord with our money.
Again, it all goes back to remembering that our money is really God’s money anyway. One pastor said it well when he said, “There are two ways in which a Christian may view his money: ‘How much of my money shall I use for God?’ or ‘How much of God’s money shall I use for myself?’”* If we remember that everything belongs to God, then we will be on the path to prosperity.
B. Giving generously to those in need (11:24, 19:17, 28:27)
We’ve already touched on this thought a little bit, but Proverbs mentions it several times, so we can, too. Look at a few verses with me [READ 11:24, 19:17, 28:27]. Now at first, this might seem counter-intuitive: if we’re going to end up with more money, doesn’t it seem like we should hang on to everything we get? Well, again, we have to remember where our money comes from—it comes from the Lord, and if we use His money the way He wants us to, then He may be inclined to entrust us with more of it.
But the opposite is also true: if we don’t use God’s money the way He wants us to, then He may not entrust us with more of it. Imagine if you gave your son or daughter some money to buy clothes and he or she came home with a new video game instead. Would you be very inclined to give them more money? No, because they hadn’t used the other money the right way.
So it is with God. He cares for the needy and He wants us to be channels of blessing for them. So if we are generous to them, then God will see to it that we have enough to continue being generous.
C. Working hard at your job (10:4–5)
Let’s read Prov. 10:4–5 [READ 10:4–5]. In many ways, our income is tied directly to the effort that we put out. Those of you who are self-employed certainly understand this. You could certainly choose to be lazy if you wanted, but your income would reflect that. For you farmers—you could choose not to prepare your fields for the harvest, but your yield would reflect that. Even for those of us who have employers—if you work hard at your job, you may be rewarded with a raise or a promotion.
As our parents used to tell us, money doesn’t grow on trees. We have to work for it, and hard work will put us on the path to prosperity. This doesn’t mean that we need to be workaholics. Verse 5 shows us that its all about working hard at the right time. Harvest is the time for work; there will be time for rest later, but when its time to work, work hard, and you’ll be headed toward prosperity.
But what about the path to poverty? What kind of lifestyle would put us on that path?
II. What characterizes the path to poverty?
A. Guaranteeing someone else’s debts (11:15, 17:18, 22:26–27)
If you get on the hook for someone else’s debt, don’t be surprised when the collector comes knocking at your door. Let’s read a few verses [READ 11:15, 17:18, 22:26–27]. Today, guaranteeing someone else’s debt would take the form of being a co-signer on their loan. Now the reason that a bank might require a co-signer is because they have good reason to think that the person may not pay back the money. So don’t think that you’re smarter than the bank! Don’t be so sure that the other person will pay back the money when the professionals consider them to be a big risk. Don’t be quick to think that your broke friend’s latest investment scheme is going to pan out!
Be very wary of this with family members as well. Few things can ruin a relationship as quickly as a loan gone bad, whether it’s a personal loan or a loan that you co-signed on through the bank. So if you want to take a big step toward poverty, then guarantee someone else’s debt.
B. Going into debt yourself (22:7)
Look with me at Prov. 22:7 [READ 22:7]. What a picture! Solomon describes debt as economic slavery, and that’s true. When you’re in debt, whatever money you have really isn’t your own until your debt is paid off. You may only have to make a monthly payment on your debt, but your lender has a claim on the full amount of the debt until its paid off.
Now I won’t presume to talk about debt on your business or your farm, because I’m no expert in those things. I’m sure its not wise to run up a bunch of debt there either, but I can tell you that in your personal finances you will never get ahead if you run up debt on a credit card and then pay 19% interest on it. Not only that, but you really do lose a degree of control over your life. You may not be able to do what you would really like to do because you’ve got shackles on your hands that say “Visa” and shackles on your feet that say “MasterCard.” We have to learn to live within our means so that we don’t enslave ourselves with a bunch of debt.
C. Trying to get rich quick (28:19–20, 28:22)
I know all of you have seen the books and the infomercials that promise to show you the secret to getting rich quick. Well, many people have pointed out that if it really is easy and quick to get rich, then everyone would be rich! But since everyone is not rich, then maybe the path isn’t as quick and easy as it seems. Look with me at a few verses from Prov. 28 [READ 28:19–20, 28:22].
As we have already seen, the path to prosperity is characterized by hard, diligent work. When we try to take shortcuts on that path, we will only end up on the path to poverty. Now some people do manage to get wealth quickly and suddenly, but that money often becomes a destructive force in their lives because they haven’t forged the character that is required to handle wealth correctly. If you prosper through slow and steady hard work, that process instills a character in you that will help you manage money correctly if you end up with a lot of it.
Trying to get rich quick is usually motivated by greed and the false idea that money will bring happiness. The sad part is that if you try to find happiness through a pile of money, you’ll generally lose both.
D. Oppressing the poor or being generous to the rich (22:16)
Let’s read Prov. 22:16 [READ 22:16]. This verse describes two stepping stones on the path to poverty. The first is oppressing the poor in order to get rich. The reason that this leads to poverty is spelled out in Prov. 14:31—“Whoever oppresses a poor man insults his Maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him.” If we insult our Maker—from whom our money comes in the first place—do you think He is going to cause us to prosper? No way! God does not bless that kind of behavior.
The second stepping stone mentioned is giving to the rich. The idea here seems to be that of trying to win the favor of a rich person by giving them gifts. I don’t think we’re talking about giving a birthday present to your wealthy relative; I’m sure that’s okay. The kind of giving mentioned in this verse would have selfish motives behind it, and it would be an improper use of your money. And again, if God entrusts us with His money and we misuse it, we have no reason to think that He will cause us to prosper.
E. Loving a lavish lifestyle (21:17)
Turn with me to Prov. 21:17 [READ 21:17]. The oil mentioned here may refer to the cooking oil that would be used to make fancy foods, or it may refer to a fragrant perfume. Either way, the point is clear—if you fall in love with the so-called “finer things in life,” you will be headed down the path to poverty. This verse is not saying that one should never enjoy such things; rather, it is talking about a love of them—an excessive pursuit and consumption of them.
How many times in our world have people proven this verse to be true? This is one of the reasons that so many people have so much credit card debt. They have fallen in love with nice things that they can’t afford, but they go into debt just to get their hands on them. We dig ourselves into a financial hole just because we won’t buy something that doesn’t have a name brand on it!
And it doesn’t matter how much money a person makes—if you fall in love with a lavish lifestyle, you can find a way to blow through any amount of money that comes in. Some athletes and entertainers demonstrate this for us every day. How many times have we seen people pull in a 7-figure income only to land in Chapter 7 bankruptcy? And its all because of the temptation to live in luxury rather than live within your means.
Once again, the book of Proverbs has laid out two very clear paths for us—the path to prosperity and the path to poverty. As we learned last week, we should not set our sights on becoming rich, but we do want to handle God’s money in a way that will cause it to prosper rather than disappear. So the path to prosperity is very clear and very straightforward—we must honor God with our money, be generous to those in need, and work hard. Shortcuts won’t get us there; debt won’t do it; a lavish lifestyle will only put us in reverse. But if we follow God’s path with God’s money, God may bless us with prosperity that we may enjoy and use for His glory.
*W. Graham Scroggie, as found at http://bible.org/node/16166, accessed 2/16/11
Monday, February 21, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Balancing Your Money Mindset--Proverbs series
A stool is a very handy thing to have around. It offers you a place to sit down, of course, but it still offers you a lot of freedom to move around. A stool is great for projects because you can sit down and still move around without having to deal with armrests or other things that might get in your way. But a stool has to be in balance if its going to be useful; if you remove one of its legs, it just becomes dangerous to sit on.
Many lessons in the Bible are the same—they have to be balanced in order to serve their purpose. For virtually every subject that the Bible addresses, it offers a couple of viewpoints that have to be balanced if you’re going to see things correctly. For example, the Bible tells us that God is just and holy, He has wrath toward sin; yet the Bible also tells us that He is loving, gracious, and merciful. These perspectives have to be balanced if we’re going to have a correct view of God.
This observation holds true when we think about money. During church history, we’ve seen some very different perspectives on money and wealth. In the last few decades, a teaching has arisen called the “prosperity gospel” which basically teaches that God wants to fulfill every materialistic whim that you may have. On the other side of the spectrum, we have also seen Christian groups who felt it was necessary to take a vow of poverty.
I think both of those viewpoints are unbiblical extremes, but if that’s true, then what is a balanced mindset regarding money and wealth? The book of Proverbs helps us keep our balance on this subject, so today we’ll take a look at what it has to say about balancing your money mindset.
What does a balanced money mindset look like?
We might say that Proverbs gives us three supports to help us balance our money mindset.
I. Wealth properly acquired is a blessing from God
We all know that wealth can be improperly acquired at times, and God may allow that for His own reasons, but if we acquire wealth without resorting to sinful means, then we can rest assured that that wealth is a blessing from God. Prov. 10:22 makes an almost startling statement when it says, [READ 10:22]. Do you understand what this verse is saying? God may choose to make someone rich as a blessing to them, and if He does, He doesn’t intend for that person to feel sorrowful about it! God is not in the business of giving us a blessing and then making us feel guilty for possessing the blessing that He gave us!
So riches are a blessing that God may choose to give. We see this lesson elsewhere in Scripture as well. Before the children of Israel entered the Promised Land, Moses told them in Deut. 28 that if they would obey God, “the Lord will make you abound in prosperity, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your livestock and in the fruit of your ground, within the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give you. The Lord will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands. And you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow” (Deut. 28:11–12).
We can also think of the story of Solomon from 1 Kings 3. God spoke to Solomon in that chapter and told him that he would give him anything he asked for. Solomon asked for wisdom to govern God’s people in the right way, and God was so pleased that He told Solomon that even though He didn’t ask for riches, He was going to make him a wealthy man!
I think its clear that God doesn’t see wealth as an automatically negative thing. Otherwise, why would He grant it to someone and call it a blessing? Apparently God does not see wealth as an automatic temptation either, because James 1 says that God does not tempt anyone, but we are tempted when we are lead astray by our own desires. That’s the real problem—we take God’s blessings and turn them into idols. We can take any of God’s blessings and turn them into idols—our marriage, our kids, our jobs, our possessions. Our hearts have been described as an idol-making factory—just give us the raw materials and we can make an idol out of it. Money is no different—it’s a blessing that we can turn into a curse.
Now we have also seen in a previous sermon that wise living normally results in prosperity. In Prov. 8, the personified Lady Wisdom talks about the benefits of following her way of life [READ 8:18–21]. The way of wisdom and the way of prosperity are often on the same path because they involve the same kinds of behavior—actions like honesty, integrity, hard work, generosity and attitudes like contentment and the fear of the Lord. That makes sense, doesn’t it? If you work hard and you’re honest and generous and content with life so that you’re not driven by greed, then most likely you’re going to prosper. And if you do, just count it as a blessing from God. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it. If you do prosper and you feel guilty about it, then either you’re dealing with unnecessary guilt, or you may be acquiring it in the wrong way or managing it the wrong way. Those are thoughts to consider, but we need not feel guilty if God has blessed us.
The second support for our balanced mindset is this…
II. Wealth can bring trouble and temptations into your life
Many people are tempted to think that wealth would solve any problems that they have, but wealth is kind of like an illegal drug—it may numb the pain of certain problems, but it brings a whole new set of problems with it. Look with me at Prov. 13:8 [READ Prov. 13:8]. Now when does a person have to pay a ransom? When someone is trying to extort them, right? Perhaps when someone has been kidnapped and a payment is demanded for their safe return. So according to this verse, a person’s wealth may become a ransom for his life, but a poor person doesn’t have to deal with threats like that. Generally, people target a wealthy person in a scheme like that. A famous bank robber was once asked why he robbed banks, and he said, “That’s where the money is.” That’s the same reason why wealthy people may be targeted like this—that’s where the money is!
Wealth can make you a target for trouble with other people. Many lottery winners will tell you that this is true. Stories like that of William Post are far too common. Mr. Post won $16.2 million in 1988, but not long after winning the troubles started to come. He was successfully sued by a former girlfriend for part of the winnings, and his brother was arrested for hiring a hit man to kill him because he thought he would inherit a share of the money. His other siblings pressured him into investing in a car dealership and a restaurant, which both went broke. Eventually he had to declare bankruptcy, and now he lives on a $450/month Social Security check.*
So money can bring trouble into your life in the form of attacks from others or even just worry about hanging on to your money. It can also bring temptations with it, particularly the temptation to find security in your money rather than in God. Let’s read Prov. 18:10–11 [READ 18:10–11]. Notice the contrast—the righteous person takes refuge in the Lord, but the rich person imagines that his money can provide the same kind of security. Prov. 11:28 sums up the matter very well when it says, “Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like a green leaf.” That is why Agur made his famous statement in Prov. 30:7–9. Why don’t you turn there with me? [READ 30:7–9] Here he points out that the temptation that comes from wealth is to think that we don’t need God. Here again is that mindset which says, “My money will take care of me if I just get enough of it.” How quickly we forget where our money comes from! Notice that Agur also pointed out a temptation that comes from poverty—the temptation to use sinful means to take care of ourselves. So there’s a note of balance right there!
We have now seen two very different perspectives on money and wealth. One says that wealth is a blessing from the Lord, and the other says that wealth can bring trouble and temptation into your life. So how do we move forward from here? We need our third support to give us some balance! The third support is this:
III. Don’t seek to get wealthy, but manage your wealth biblically if it comes
With all of the potential problems associated with wealth, it is best not to seek to get rich. Look with me at Prov. 23:4–5 [READ 23:4–5]. Not only does wealth bring potential problems, it can also disappear very quickly! It is not the lasting foundation that we’re tempted to think it is, so why should we make acquiring wealth the focus of our efforts?
According to Proverbs, it is better to focus on acquiring a righteous character. Let’s read a few verses [READ 15:16, 16:8, 28:6]. Now let’s make sure that we understand what these verses are saying. They are not saying that money is evil, bad, and terrible; they are simply saying that riches and wealth are not as good as righteousness, integrity, and the fear of the Lord. So if we have to choose between righteousness and riches, the correct choice is a no-brainer—righteousness wins every time! So that’s where our focus should be—on living a righteous life. It would be terribly sad if we left righteousness behind in order to pursue riches.
Thus, wealth should not be our focus in life. This observation has some important lessons for us in all of the various ways that we interact with money. This means that even when we think about saving and investing, our goal in that process should not simply be to get wealthy. Our goal instead should be to aim for righteousness as we save and invest—we should see to it that we have righteous motivations and righteous intentions for that money.
And when we think about earning our money, we shouldn’t work simply with the goal of getting rich. Money should not be the driving force behind our labor. Teenagers, this means that when you’re thinking about a career to pursue, don’t simply get a list of the “Top Ten Highest Paying Jobs” and then pick whatever is #1 on the list! You need to have righteous motivations for your work and righteous intentions for your labor. Don’t just look at money—think of your job as a ministry, and consider how you are best equipped to serve other people.
So let’s not seek to get wealthy, but as I said earlier, the way of wisdom and righteousness and the way of prosperity are often on the same path. So if you pursue righteousness, you may end up with prosperity as a blessing from God, and if you do, then just manage it biblically. Be aware of the temptations and the pitfalls and avoid them by focusing on how God would have you manage that money. Biblically, our role when it comes to finances is that of a steward or a caretaker—the money belongs to God and we’re just supposed to handle it the way He wants us to. We need to be careful to remember that because its far too easy to think of money as ours, but it is not ours—it belongs to God. In many cases, He simply desires that we would channels through which He can bless other people. I think Pastor John Piper captured this well when he wrote these words: “Why does God bless us with abundance? So we can have enough to live on, and then use the rest for all manner of good works that alleviate spiritual and physical misery. Enough for us; abundance for others. The issue is not how much a person makes. Big industry and big salaries are a fact of our times, and they are not necessarily evil. The evil is in being deceived into thinking a six-digit salary must be accompanied by a six-digit lifestyle. God has made us to be conduits of His grace. The danger is in thinking the conduit should be lined with gold. It shouldn’t. Copper will do.”**
As every child learns when they try to ride a bike, balance is a tricky thing to maintain. So it is with your mindset about money. It is a difficult balance to keep, and we all do better at some times than at others. It is also much easier to judge others when we think they’re out of balance than it is to recognize when we are out of balance. But if we keep God’s truth in hand, it will steady us as we walk across this tightrope.
*Information taken from http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveMoney/8lotteryWinnersWhoLostTheirMillions.aspx
** John Piper, Desiring God, (Multnomah Publishers, Inc. 2003) 203.
Many lessons in the Bible are the same—they have to be balanced in order to serve their purpose. For virtually every subject that the Bible addresses, it offers a couple of viewpoints that have to be balanced if you’re going to see things correctly. For example, the Bible tells us that God is just and holy, He has wrath toward sin; yet the Bible also tells us that He is loving, gracious, and merciful. These perspectives have to be balanced if we’re going to have a correct view of God.
This observation holds true when we think about money. During church history, we’ve seen some very different perspectives on money and wealth. In the last few decades, a teaching has arisen called the “prosperity gospel” which basically teaches that God wants to fulfill every materialistic whim that you may have. On the other side of the spectrum, we have also seen Christian groups who felt it was necessary to take a vow of poverty.
I think both of those viewpoints are unbiblical extremes, but if that’s true, then what is a balanced mindset regarding money and wealth? The book of Proverbs helps us keep our balance on this subject, so today we’ll take a look at what it has to say about balancing your money mindset.
What does a balanced money mindset look like?
We might say that Proverbs gives us three supports to help us balance our money mindset.
I. Wealth properly acquired is a blessing from God
We all know that wealth can be improperly acquired at times, and God may allow that for His own reasons, but if we acquire wealth without resorting to sinful means, then we can rest assured that that wealth is a blessing from God. Prov. 10:22 makes an almost startling statement when it says, [READ 10:22]. Do you understand what this verse is saying? God may choose to make someone rich as a blessing to them, and if He does, He doesn’t intend for that person to feel sorrowful about it! God is not in the business of giving us a blessing and then making us feel guilty for possessing the blessing that He gave us!
So riches are a blessing that God may choose to give. We see this lesson elsewhere in Scripture as well. Before the children of Israel entered the Promised Land, Moses told them in Deut. 28 that if they would obey God, “the Lord will make you abound in prosperity, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your livestock and in the fruit of your ground, within the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give you. The Lord will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands. And you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow” (Deut. 28:11–12).
We can also think of the story of Solomon from 1 Kings 3. God spoke to Solomon in that chapter and told him that he would give him anything he asked for. Solomon asked for wisdom to govern God’s people in the right way, and God was so pleased that He told Solomon that even though He didn’t ask for riches, He was going to make him a wealthy man!
I think its clear that God doesn’t see wealth as an automatically negative thing. Otherwise, why would He grant it to someone and call it a blessing? Apparently God does not see wealth as an automatic temptation either, because James 1 says that God does not tempt anyone, but we are tempted when we are lead astray by our own desires. That’s the real problem—we take God’s blessings and turn them into idols. We can take any of God’s blessings and turn them into idols—our marriage, our kids, our jobs, our possessions. Our hearts have been described as an idol-making factory—just give us the raw materials and we can make an idol out of it. Money is no different—it’s a blessing that we can turn into a curse.
Now we have also seen in a previous sermon that wise living normally results in prosperity. In Prov. 8, the personified Lady Wisdom talks about the benefits of following her way of life [READ 8:18–21]. The way of wisdom and the way of prosperity are often on the same path because they involve the same kinds of behavior—actions like honesty, integrity, hard work, generosity and attitudes like contentment and the fear of the Lord. That makes sense, doesn’t it? If you work hard and you’re honest and generous and content with life so that you’re not driven by greed, then most likely you’re going to prosper. And if you do, just count it as a blessing from God. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it. If you do prosper and you feel guilty about it, then either you’re dealing with unnecessary guilt, or you may be acquiring it in the wrong way or managing it the wrong way. Those are thoughts to consider, but we need not feel guilty if God has blessed us.
The second support for our balanced mindset is this…
II. Wealth can bring trouble and temptations into your life
Many people are tempted to think that wealth would solve any problems that they have, but wealth is kind of like an illegal drug—it may numb the pain of certain problems, but it brings a whole new set of problems with it. Look with me at Prov. 13:8 [READ Prov. 13:8]. Now when does a person have to pay a ransom? When someone is trying to extort them, right? Perhaps when someone has been kidnapped and a payment is demanded for their safe return. So according to this verse, a person’s wealth may become a ransom for his life, but a poor person doesn’t have to deal with threats like that. Generally, people target a wealthy person in a scheme like that. A famous bank robber was once asked why he robbed banks, and he said, “That’s where the money is.” That’s the same reason why wealthy people may be targeted like this—that’s where the money is!
Wealth can make you a target for trouble with other people. Many lottery winners will tell you that this is true. Stories like that of William Post are far too common. Mr. Post won $16.2 million in 1988, but not long after winning the troubles started to come. He was successfully sued by a former girlfriend for part of the winnings, and his brother was arrested for hiring a hit man to kill him because he thought he would inherit a share of the money. His other siblings pressured him into investing in a car dealership and a restaurant, which both went broke. Eventually he had to declare bankruptcy, and now he lives on a $450/month Social Security check.*
So money can bring trouble into your life in the form of attacks from others or even just worry about hanging on to your money. It can also bring temptations with it, particularly the temptation to find security in your money rather than in God. Let’s read Prov. 18:10–11 [READ 18:10–11]. Notice the contrast—the righteous person takes refuge in the Lord, but the rich person imagines that his money can provide the same kind of security. Prov. 11:28 sums up the matter very well when it says, “Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like a green leaf.” That is why Agur made his famous statement in Prov. 30:7–9. Why don’t you turn there with me? [READ 30:7–9] Here he points out that the temptation that comes from wealth is to think that we don’t need God. Here again is that mindset which says, “My money will take care of me if I just get enough of it.” How quickly we forget where our money comes from! Notice that Agur also pointed out a temptation that comes from poverty—the temptation to use sinful means to take care of ourselves. So there’s a note of balance right there!
We have now seen two very different perspectives on money and wealth. One says that wealth is a blessing from the Lord, and the other says that wealth can bring trouble and temptation into your life. So how do we move forward from here? We need our third support to give us some balance! The third support is this:
III. Don’t seek to get wealthy, but manage your wealth biblically if it comes
With all of the potential problems associated with wealth, it is best not to seek to get rich. Look with me at Prov. 23:4–5 [READ 23:4–5]. Not only does wealth bring potential problems, it can also disappear very quickly! It is not the lasting foundation that we’re tempted to think it is, so why should we make acquiring wealth the focus of our efforts?
According to Proverbs, it is better to focus on acquiring a righteous character. Let’s read a few verses [READ 15:16, 16:8, 28:6]. Now let’s make sure that we understand what these verses are saying. They are not saying that money is evil, bad, and terrible; they are simply saying that riches and wealth are not as good as righteousness, integrity, and the fear of the Lord. So if we have to choose between righteousness and riches, the correct choice is a no-brainer—righteousness wins every time! So that’s where our focus should be—on living a righteous life. It would be terribly sad if we left righteousness behind in order to pursue riches.
Thus, wealth should not be our focus in life. This observation has some important lessons for us in all of the various ways that we interact with money. This means that even when we think about saving and investing, our goal in that process should not simply be to get wealthy. Our goal instead should be to aim for righteousness as we save and invest—we should see to it that we have righteous motivations and righteous intentions for that money.
And when we think about earning our money, we shouldn’t work simply with the goal of getting rich. Money should not be the driving force behind our labor. Teenagers, this means that when you’re thinking about a career to pursue, don’t simply get a list of the “Top Ten Highest Paying Jobs” and then pick whatever is #1 on the list! You need to have righteous motivations for your work and righteous intentions for your labor. Don’t just look at money—think of your job as a ministry, and consider how you are best equipped to serve other people.
So let’s not seek to get wealthy, but as I said earlier, the way of wisdom and righteousness and the way of prosperity are often on the same path. So if you pursue righteousness, you may end up with prosperity as a blessing from God, and if you do, then just manage it biblically. Be aware of the temptations and the pitfalls and avoid them by focusing on how God would have you manage that money. Biblically, our role when it comes to finances is that of a steward or a caretaker—the money belongs to God and we’re just supposed to handle it the way He wants us to. We need to be careful to remember that because its far too easy to think of money as ours, but it is not ours—it belongs to God. In many cases, He simply desires that we would channels through which He can bless other people. I think Pastor John Piper captured this well when he wrote these words: “Why does God bless us with abundance? So we can have enough to live on, and then use the rest for all manner of good works that alleviate spiritual and physical misery. Enough for us; abundance for others. The issue is not how much a person makes. Big industry and big salaries are a fact of our times, and they are not necessarily evil. The evil is in being deceived into thinking a six-digit salary must be accompanied by a six-digit lifestyle. God has made us to be conduits of His grace. The danger is in thinking the conduit should be lined with gold. It shouldn’t. Copper will do.”**
As every child learns when they try to ride a bike, balance is a tricky thing to maintain. So it is with your mindset about money. It is a difficult balance to keep, and we all do better at some times than at others. It is also much easier to judge others when we think they’re out of balance than it is to recognize when we are out of balance. But if we keep God’s truth in hand, it will steady us as we walk across this tightrope.
*Information taken from http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/SaveMoney/8lotteryWinnersWhoLostTheirMillions.aspx
** John Piper, Desiring God, (Multnomah Publishers, Inc. 2003) 203.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Passion Vs. Poison--Proverbs series
Pastor Tommy Nelson has often told a story that I would like to share with you today. There was once a man who visited an African tribe who lived by a beautiful river. As this man started to meet the people in the tribe, he began to notice that many of them were missing limbs—some were missing hands, some were missing feet, and some were missing entire arms or legs. Not wanting to be offensive, the visitor waited to ask anyone about this until he was alone with the tribe’s leader. “Sir, why are so many of the people in your tribe missing limbs?” The leader responded, “We live beside this beautiful river, but it is filled with crocodiles. Many of our people have been attacked while bathing.” The visitor asked, “What has been done to warn people about this? Have you talked about a plan to protect yourselves?” But the leader responded, “In our tribe it is very awkward to talk about crocodiles. It is considered impolite and embarrassing, so we just don’t talk about it.”
Pastor Nelson tells that story to highlight the way that he believes the subject of sex is often handled in churches. Many people in our pews have been hurt by sexual sins, yet we consider it embarrassing to talk about sex, so we just avoid the subject.
But when we read the Bible, we discover that God is not embarrassed to talk about sex. An entire book of Scripture—the Song of Solomon—is dedicated to the romantic relationship between man and woman—including the sexual relationship. The book of Proverbs doesn’t allow us to avoid this subject either. Nearly three full chapters of Proverbs are devoted to this subject—particularly to the subject of overcoming sexual temptation. Talking about sexual temptation has never been more appropriate for the church, especially now that almost all of us have the world’s largest adult bookstore pumped into our homes over an internet connection. More than ever, we can use some sound advice on dealing with sexual temptation.
How can we overcome sexual temptation?
We’re going to look primarily at Proverbs 5 today, so why don’t you turn there with me. As we look at this chapter, remember that this part of the book was written by a father teaching his son, so his warnings are directed against a seductive woman. But these verses can just as easily apply as warnings to a woman, so ladies, you can read them in that light.
This chapter gives us four insights that will allow us to overcome sexual temptation.
I. Recognize its deceptive nature (5:1–6)
Sexual temptation talks a big talk, but ultimately it cannot deliver the ecstasy that it promises. This is described beginning in v. 3 [READ v. 3]. That’s a very picturesque description of this woman’s seduction. The “forbidden” woman is literally translated “the strange woman” and the idea is that she is a stranger to the morals of God’s people. She does not follow the ethical standards of God’s community, and thus she represents a forbidden temptation.
But she knows how to bait her trap! She makes her seductions sound very desirable, and that’s the nature of sexual temptation—it seems so appealing up front. After all, it wouldn’t be very tempting if it didn’t appear pleasant. And so magazines and websites promise beauty like you’ve never seen, or an affair promises excitement, or a boyfriend promises undying love and affection.
But the substance of sexual sin is nothing like the appearance. It’s like opening a box of chocolates to find dog food inside! The aftermath of sexual sin is bitter, painful, and depressing. Verse 4 says [READ v. 4]. Wormwood is an herb that (obviously) has a very bitter taste, and certain parts of the plant are actually poisonous. So with sexual temptation, you’re promised passion, but you get poison!
We have to remember this when we are confronted by sexual temptation. We must keep a long-term, “big picture” perspective on life. Sexual sin looks so good at the moment, so if we only think about the moment it will be far too easy to give in.
Verse 5 says [READ v. 5]. Under Old Testament law, the penalty for adultery was death. We may not face the same legal penalty for sexual sins today, but we are still risking our lives! We may become the target of someone’s revenge, or we may contract a disease that could be deadly—if not deadly for ourselves, then potentially deadly for future children that we might have! That’s a terrible price to pay for something that isn’t even as good as advertised!
II. Keep yourself out of tempting situations (5:7–14)
Look at vv. 7–8 [READ vv. 7–8]. Verses like this may have been in the Apostle Paul’s mind when he told the Corinthians to flee from sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:18). The best way to deal with sexual temptation is to stay away from it—to get away from it when it comes up and to keep ourselves out of situations that we know could be potentially tempting. You do not want to stand toe-to-toe with sexual temptation and try to beat it!
The reason for this is because sexual sin is so dangerous. It can ruin you like nothing else. According to vv. 9–14, it can steal your honor, your money, your health, and your position in the community. Follow this with me [READ vv. 9–14].
We cannot afford to mess around with something that is so dangerous. In practical terms, the wise thing to do then is to set boundaries in our lives that will help us avoid sexual temptation as much as we can. This calls for boundaries in the way that we deal with the opposite sex. We need to be careful about what we discuss with each other and how we joke with each other. I once heard about a man and a woman in a church who were both married, but they often joked about running away together. The man would say things to the woman like, “When are you going to dump that bum and run away with me?” Everyone around them got a good laugh because they were just jokes, but one day the woman and her husband started to have some tough times in their marriage, and the woman called this man and said, “When you’ve told those jokes, have you ever been serious?” And the man said, “Maybe,” and they started an affair that destroyed both of those marriages. Those jokes planted a seed in the mind, and when that seed was watered by some marital troubles, it became a weed that destroyed two marriages.
We should also structure our lives so we’re not alone with members of the opposite sex. Teenagers, remember this whenever you get romantically involved with someone. Stay in public places; spend time with groups; communicate with your parents if you’re going to be driving alone together.
We also need to be very careful about what we allow into our minds. We have resources today that can keep us very safe from stumbling across sexual content in movies or online. You can go online today and find out about sexual content in a movie before you watch it, which means that you can make a well-informed choice NOT to watch a movie with nudity or sexual content. You can get very effective filters for your internet service that will block most pages with sexual content from coming up. Ultimately of course, sexual sin is a matter of the heart, but these practical boundaries can keep us out of tempting situations.
These boundaries can also help us protect the relationship that really CAN deliver on its promises.
III. Cultivate a passionate love life with your spouse (5:15–19)
As much as God says “no” to sexual sin, His answer to your love life at home is an even louder “yes!” Look at vv. 16–17 [READ vv. 16–17]. Here the father uses the metaphor of water to talk about the sexual relationship because water is refreshing and satisfying. It meets a strong desire, just as the sexual relationship does. Then he continues in vv. 18–19 [READ vv. 18–19]. Wow! Yes, I’m still reading from the Bible up here! I didn’t switch out some other book on you! That sounds better than walking the path to death, doesn’t it?
Supposedly, in Victorian England, couples were told that the sexual relationship was simply their duty to provide soldiers for the empire. I don’t know how true that is, but I certainly don’t think that’s God’s perspective! God created sex, and He made it not to be a duty but a delight. His desire for you and your spouse is that you would thoroughly enjoy this gift that He has given you. He encourages this for your joy and for your safety, so that you will have a strong defense against sexual sin.
Sex is just like fire—when fire gets out of its proper place, its destructive and deadly, but when its in its proper place, its wonderful. It provides heat, and light, and comfort. Sex is the same way—outside of marriage, it destroys, but within marriage it is pleasant and satisfying.
Friends, this is the message that we need to pass along to our children as well. Don’t just say no, but say no because something so much better is on the way! Saving yourself for marriage is like saying no to a candy bar while you’re on your way to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma’s! Something better is on the way—just wait for it! Then when you arrive, go back for seconds!
IV. Remember that God sees your actions (5:20–23)
If you’re married and you engage in sexual sin, remember that you’ve violated two relationships—your relationship with your spouse, and your relationship with God. Let’s read vv. 20–23 [READ vv. 20–23]. One of the dangers and one of the appeals of sexual sin is that is feels so secretive. You have something going on that no one else knows about—but remember, God always knows. As David wrote in Psalm 139, “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.” We cannot keep God from knowing about our actions. There is no door that can keep Him out, no delete button that can keep Him from knowing, no cologne that can hide a strange perfume.
I think this insight is particularly important when we consider the temptations of pornography. People are tempted to think that viewing pornography is a rather innocent sin since it doesn’t involve an actual relationship with another human being. But indulging lust like that is still a violation of God’s Word, and thus it strains our relationship with Him. And honestly, it cannot help but strain our relationship with our spouse as well, even if he or she doesn’t know about it. How can you have a free and unhindered relationship with your spouse when you’re hiding something like that? Even if your spouse never knows, God does, and our relationship with Him will be hurt because of it.
Also, notice the contrast in the imagery from nature in vv. 18-23. The woman is compared to a lovely, graceful doe—in other words, she is like the beauty in nature. On the other hand, sexual sin is compared to a hunter’s snare—in other words, it is the danger that has been introduced into nature by man. Thus, when you’re faced with sexual temptation, the choice is between beauty and a trap—an enjoyment of the good of what God has created, or an indulgence in the evil that has perverted God’s creation.
When we consider the dangers of sexual temptation, the stakes are so very high. How great is it that we have a book like the Bible that gets down into the nitty-gritty of our lives. This book addresses the real-life issues that confront us every day, and it shows us the way of wisdom, the way of righteousness and godliness, that will help us overcome temptation and draw closer to God.
Sexual temptation is very strong in our world, but it has been strong in our world ever since the Fall. We are not unique in our battles against this sin; in fact, the Captain of our faith, Jesus Christ, has faced such temptations and has overcome. Now He stands ready to help us do the same. The words of Hebrews 4:15–16 ring true: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Pastor Nelson tells that story to highlight the way that he believes the subject of sex is often handled in churches. Many people in our pews have been hurt by sexual sins, yet we consider it embarrassing to talk about sex, so we just avoid the subject.
But when we read the Bible, we discover that God is not embarrassed to talk about sex. An entire book of Scripture—the Song of Solomon—is dedicated to the romantic relationship between man and woman—including the sexual relationship. The book of Proverbs doesn’t allow us to avoid this subject either. Nearly three full chapters of Proverbs are devoted to this subject—particularly to the subject of overcoming sexual temptation. Talking about sexual temptation has never been more appropriate for the church, especially now that almost all of us have the world’s largest adult bookstore pumped into our homes over an internet connection. More than ever, we can use some sound advice on dealing with sexual temptation.
How can we overcome sexual temptation?
We’re going to look primarily at Proverbs 5 today, so why don’t you turn there with me. As we look at this chapter, remember that this part of the book was written by a father teaching his son, so his warnings are directed against a seductive woman. But these verses can just as easily apply as warnings to a woman, so ladies, you can read them in that light.
This chapter gives us four insights that will allow us to overcome sexual temptation.
I. Recognize its deceptive nature (5:1–6)
Sexual temptation talks a big talk, but ultimately it cannot deliver the ecstasy that it promises. This is described beginning in v. 3 [READ v. 3]. That’s a very picturesque description of this woman’s seduction. The “forbidden” woman is literally translated “the strange woman” and the idea is that she is a stranger to the morals of God’s people. She does not follow the ethical standards of God’s community, and thus she represents a forbidden temptation.
But she knows how to bait her trap! She makes her seductions sound very desirable, and that’s the nature of sexual temptation—it seems so appealing up front. After all, it wouldn’t be very tempting if it didn’t appear pleasant. And so magazines and websites promise beauty like you’ve never seen, or an affair promises excitement, or a boyfriend promises undying love and affection.
But the substance of sexual sin is nothing like the appearance. It’s like opening a box of chocolates to find dog food inside! The aftermath of sexual sin is bitter, painful, and depressing. Verse 4 says [READ v. 4]. Wormwood is an herb that (obviously) has a very bitter taste, and certain parts of the plant are actually poisonous. So with sexual temptation, you’re promised passion, but you get poison!
We have to remember this when we are confronted by sexual temptation. We must keep a long-term, “big picture” perspective on life. Sexual sin looks so good at the moment, so if we only think about the moment it will be far too easy to give in.
Verse 5 says [READ v. 5]. Under Old Testament law, the penalty for adultery was death. We may not face the same legal penalty for sexual sins today, but we are still risking our lives! We may become the target of someone’s revenge, or we may contract a disease that could be deadly—if not deadly for ourselves, then potentially deadly for future children that we might have! That’s a terrible price to pay for something that isn’t even as good as advertised!
II. Keep yourself out of tempting situations (5:7–14)
Look at vv. 7–8 [READ vv. 7–8]. Verses like this may have been in the Apostle Paul’s mind when he told the Corinthians to flee from sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:18). The best way to deal with sexual temptation is to stay away from it—to get away from it when it comes up and to keep ourselves out of situations that we know could be potentially tempting. You do not want to stand toe-to-toe with sexual temptation and try to beat it!
The reason for this is because sexual sin is so dangerous. It can ruin you like nothing else. According to vv. 9–14, it can steal your honor, your money, your health, and your position in the community. Follow this with me [READ vv. 9–14].
We cannot afford to mess around with something that is so dangerous. In practical terms, the wise thing to do then is to set boundaries in our lives that will help us avoid sexual temptation as much as we can. This calls for boundaries in the way that we deal with the opposite sex. We need to be careful about what we discuss with each other and how we joke with each other. I once heard about a man and a woman in a church who were both married, but they often joked about running away together. The man would say things to the woman like, “When are you going to dump that bum and run away with me?” Everyone around them got a good laugh because they were just jokes, but one day the woman and her husband started to have some tough times in their marriage, and the woman called this man and said, “When you’ve told those jokes, have you ever been serious?” And the man said, “Maybe,” and they started an affair that destroyed both of those marriages. Those jokes planted a seed in the mind, and when that seed was watered by some marital troubles, it became a weed that destroyed two marriages.
We should also structure our lives so we’re not alone with members of the opposite sex. Teenagers, remember this whenever you get romantically involved with someone. Stay in public places; spend time with groups; communicate with your parents if you’re going to be driving alone together.
We also need to be very careful about what we allow into our minds. We have resources today that can keep us very safe from stumbling across sexual content in movies or online. You can go online today and find out about sexual content in a movie before you watch it, which means that you can make a well-informed choice NOT to watch a movie with nudity or sexual content. You can get very effective filters for your internet service that will block most pages with sexual content from coming up. Ultimately of course, sexual sin is a matter of the heart, but these practical boundaries can keep us out of tempting situations.
These boundaries can also help us protect the relationship that really CAN deliver on its promises.
III. Cultivate a passionate love life with your spouse (5:15–19)
As much as God says “no” to sexual sin, His answer to your love life at home is an even louder “yes!” Look at vv. 16–17 [READ vv. 16–17]. Here the father uses the metaphor of water to talk about the sexual relationship because water is refreshing and satisfying. It meets a strong desire, just as the sexual relationship does. Then he continues in vv. 18–19 [READ vv. 18–19]. Wow! Yes, I’m still reading from the Bible up here! I didn’t switch out some other book on you! That sounds better than walking the path to death, doesn’t it?
Supposedly, in Victorian England, couples were told that the sexual relationship was simply their duty to provide soldiers for the empire. I don’t know how true that is, but I certainly don’t think that’s God’s perspective! God created sex, and He made it not to be a duty but a delight. His desire for you and your spouse is that you would thoroughly enjoy this gift that He has given you. He encourages this for your joy and for your safety, so that you will have a strong defense against sexual sin.
Sex is just like fire—when fire gets out of its proper place, its destructive and deadly, but when its in its proper place, its wonderful. It provides heat, and light, and comfort. Sex is the same way—outside of marriage, it destroys, but within marriage it is pleasant and satisfying.
Friends, this is the message that we need to pass along to our children as well. Don’t just say no, but say no because something so much better is on the way! Saving yourself for marriage is like saying no to a candy bar while you’re on your way to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma’s! Something better is on the way—just wait for it! Then when you arrive, go back for seconds!
IV. Remember that God sees your actions (5:20–23)
If you’re married and you engage in sexual sin, remember that you’ve violated two relationships—your relationship with your spouse, and your relationship with God. Let’s read vv. 20–23 [READ vv. 20–23]. One of the dangers and one of the appeals of sexual sin is that is feels so secretive. You have something going on that no one else knows about—but remember, God always knows. As David wrote in Psalm 139, “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.” We cannot keep God from knowing about our actions. There is no door that can keep Him out, no delete button that can keep Him from knowing, no cologne that can hide a strange perfume.
I think this insight is particularly important when we consider the temptations of pornography. People are tempted to think that viewing pornography is a rather innocent sin since it doesn’t involve an actual relationship with another human being. But indulging lust like that is still a violation of God’s Word, and thus it strains our relationship with Him. And honestly, it cannot help but strain our relationship with our spouse as well, even if he or she doesn’t know about it. How can you have a free and unhindered relationship with your spouse when you’re hiding something like that? Even if your spouse never knows, God does, and our relationship with Him will be hurt because of it.
Also, notice the contrast in the imagery from nature in vv. 18-23. The woman is compared to a lovely, graceful doe—in other words, she is like the beauty in nature. On the other hand, sexual sin is compared to a hunter’s snare—in other words, it is the danger that has been introduced into nature by man. Thus, when you’re faced with sexual temptation, the choice is between beauty and a trap—an enjoyment of the good of what God has created, or an indulgence in the evil that has perverted God’s creation.
When we consider the dangers of sexual temptation, the stakes are so very high. How great is it that we have a book like the Bible that gets down into the nitty-gritty of our lives. This book addresses the real-life issues that confront us every day, and it shows us the way of wisdom, the way of righteousness and godliness, that will help us overcome temptation and draw closer to God.
Sexual temptation is very strong in our world, but it has been strong in our world ever since the Fall. We are not unique in our battles against this sin; in fact, the Captain of our faith, Jesus Christ, has faced such temptations and has overcome. Now He stands ready to help us do the same. The words of Hebrews 4:15–16 ring true: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Monday, January 31, 2011
Spare the Rod?--Proverbs series
Bill Cosby built a career on the humor that arises from the everyday life of the family. In some of his stand-up routines, he used to describe the way his father would discipline him, and he talked about how his dad was fond of saying, “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it!” I think that line even made it into some of the episodes of “The Cosby Show.”
Making jokes about the physical discipline of a child got a lot of laughs back then, but I suspect that the reaction would be much different today. There may have been some people who were offended by it back then—I really don’t know—but I suspect that there would be some outrage today. There would probably be a Facebook page calling for a boycott of Bill Cosby and a protest outside the offices of the network that aired his show. There might even be a congressional investigation into any potential connections between TV shows and child abuse.
Attitudes about child discipline have greatly changed in our country over the last few decades, and as a result many parents are asking questions about what is and what is not an acceptable way to discipline their children. Most of the debate and discussion today revolves around the practice of spanking. Is spanking really an acceptable method of discipline, or does it actually make children more aggressive and defiant?
As Christians, our first question should always be, “What does the Bible say about child discipline?” Since we have been studying the book of Proverbs lately, we’re going to take a look this morning at what Proverbs in particular has to say about this subject.
What does Proverbs teach about child discipline?
I. Parents must exert proper discipline on their children
According to the book of Proverbs, disciplining your children is one of the most serious responsibilities that you have as a parent. In fact, Proverbs says that your willingness to discipline your child reveals whether you love them or hate them! But what does Proverbs say about how to discipline your children? That will be our main focus today.
a. Parental discipline should include appropriate physical pain when necessary (13:24, 22:15, 23:13–14, 29:15)
This is easily the most controversial point from the teaching of Proverbs, and we’ll address that controversy in a moment. But first, let’s read the verses in question [READ 13:24, 22:15, 23:13–14, 29:15]. All of these verses speak of using a rod to discipline your children, and it seems quite clear that the verses are talking about striking your children in an appropriate way to use physical pain as a means of discipline.
Now the very idea of using physical pain to discipline your children is very controversial today. A number of pediatricians and psychologists are convinced that something like spanking can only have detrimental effects on your children. In fact, if you listen to some of them, it is almost a miracle that I’m standing before you today. I was spanked as a child, and according to their predictions, I should be a very aggressive adult who is vengeful and who uses violence to impose my will on other people. It is likely that I should be using drugs to mask the pain from my childhood years, and it is far more likely that I should be in prison rather than behind a pulpit.
I ran across one article online in which the author opposed spanking, and at the end of his article he used a series of questions and answers to sum up his main points. Here are a few of his questions and answers:
Q: What do virtually all juvenile delinquents have in common?
A: They have been raised by spankers.
Q: What was a common feature of the childhoods of Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein and Charles Manson?
A: Each one was relentlessly, severely, physically punished.
Q: What do most prisoners on death row have in common?
A: Plenty of spankings during childhood.
Q: Which child is destined never to join the company of felons?
A: One who is raised in a nurturing, attentive, supportive, non-spanking family.1
So according to that author, the case is closed—using a physical punishment like spanking will cause your child to be a juvenile delinquent and end up in prison. One pediatrician wrote, “Spanking demonstrates that it's all right for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people. Children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a good swat.”2
Now it should be noted that many critics of spanking fail to distinguish between spanking and child abuse. Even when we consider spanking, there are correct ways to do it, and incorrect ways to do it. But many critics place all forms of physical punishment into the same category, which is not an accurate way to assess them. Now we should be very clear at this point that the Bible never condones child abuse. We are not talking about causing severe, lasting harm to your child—we’re talking about pain that is significant but moderate. That’s why Solomon could say, “If you strike your child with a rod, he will not die.” He was so confident about that because he was talking about a physical punishment that was nowhere near bringing the child to the point of death.
All in all, if we take the Bible at its word, it is clear that appropriate physical punishment should be used when necessary. According to Proverbs, this is an effective and necessary way to train our children. Now at this point, it may be tempting to think, “Okay, I understand that people spanked their children back then, but haven’t we developed better methods of discipline today—methods that are more humane? Don’t we know more today about child psychology and development?” This line of thinking really challenges us to assess what we think the Bible really is. Is it simply a collection of human wisdom and understanding, or does it really contain wisdom from God? If it is just a collection of human wisdom, then we might be justified in thinking that we have better ways of living today, but if this book is truly wisdom from God, should we not believe that He knows what He’s talking about? Are we really supposed to believe that God didn’t understand child psychology when He inspired these verses?
Friends, God knows us inside and out. He knows what we need and He knows how we work. If he says that the proper use of physical punishment is good for our children, then we should believe Him and act accordingly.
But how do we make a proper use of physical punishment? Proverbs gives us some important guidelines.
b. Parental discipline should be applied in a spirit of love (13:24)
Disciplining your children is ultimately an expression of love for them, and that must be your motivation and your spirit when you carry out your discipline. Let’s look again at Prov. 13:24 [READ 13:24]. Ultimately, we discipline our children because we love them and we want them to live the right way. Now our children may not understand that when we have to spank them, but we should do all we can to communicate our love to them. We need to carry out our discipline in a manner of love. You should never spank your child just to “let off some steam” or to vent your own anger. If your temper gets the best of you, make sure you get yourself calmed down before you discipline your child. Send them to their room if you need to and get yourself under control before you discipline them. Spanking is not about getting revenge or “putting your child in his place” or humiliating your child; it is about training your child, pure and simple.
Spanking is not a way for you to release frustration; it is an expression of love for the child to help them learn right from wrong, and you must do all that you can to communicate that to them. So make sure your manner communicates love, and then express it with your words as well. Tell them that you love them, and even if they’re unhappy with you at the time, your words will stick with them.
c. Parental discipline should be applied diligently (13:24)
This lesson also comes from 13:24—“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” According to the dictionary, diligence is behavior that is marked by persevering, painstaking effort. The Hebrew word diligent comes from the same root as the Hebrew word for “dawn,” which may mean that this word carries the idea of getting an early start on something.
Diligence in discipline is so important because it provides consistency for your children. They will know what to expect from you, because if you are diligent you won’t be a punisher one day and a push-over the next! How frustrated do you get when you don’t know what to expect from a person on any given day? Imagine if your boss let you do certain things one day without correcting you, and then the next day he was all over your case for doing the same things! You wouldn’t know what you could do, and our kids experience the same frustration when there is no diligence and consistency from us.
Diligence will also let your kids know that you mean what you say. If you tell them that you will discipline them for a certain behavior and then you diligently follow up on what you said, they will learn that you mean business when you say something. If you give them a clear guideline and consistently back it up, you should be able to eliminate the use of threats, raising your voice, and repeating the same request five or six times before your children respond.
Now I can already see that this will be easier said than done with my own little girl. I know there will be days when I won’t feel like disciplining her because it will take me away from something else or it will require me to put out some more effort when I’m tired and frustrated. So I know I’ll have to fight against this temptation, and its very important that all of us seek to be diligent in discipline.
d. Parental discipline should be accompanied by instruction (29:15)
Look with me at Prov. 29:15 [READ 29:15]. Notice the intent of discipline—it is to give wisdom. Discipline is not an end in itself; it is a means to an end. It is meant to help your child learn and grow, so if there is no instruction with the discipline, the process is short-circuited.
This is one of the reasons that child abuse is so bad. Not only is the child physically harmed, but he’s never told how to avoid a beating in the future. So the child simply lives in uncertainty and fear because he doesn’t know why mom or dad was so angry in the first place.
I believe this lesson teaches us that we should never be cavalier about the way that we discipline our children. Sometimes we see parents who smack their children and then move on, or they quickly bend them over and give them a quick swat. Well, we may think that our children know what they’ve done wrong, but oftentimes they don’t—they need our instruction. And many times those reactions come from the parent’s anger or frustration rather than their love, so we need to be careful about our motives as well.
Our discipline must be accompanied by instruction or it will look much more like spite and vengeance than true discipline. We need to carefully explain things, and as you all know, oftentimes you have to be very specific with a child. They can’t necessarily apply principles to different situations, so they often need very specific instructions. And the idea of course is that as they embrace our instruction, then the need for discipline will become smaller and smaller.
There is certainly much more that could be said on this subject, and we haven’t even looked at the whole Bible—we’ve just singled out Proverbs today. But as you can see, there is much guidance and instruction in this book. If you still have some burning questions, then by all means, I would encourage you to do a full study of what the Bible says about parenting, and talk to the Christian parents here who have been through your stage of life before. Take your cues from our heavenly Father, and follow His example. You will find abundant inspiration and strength in Him.
1 From “Plain Talk About Spanking,” by Jordan Riak, http://nospank.net/pt2011.pdf Accessed 1/24/11.
2 From “Spanking: Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Child,” by William Sears, M.D. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t062100.asp Accessed 1/24/11.
Making jokes about the physical discipline of a child got a lot of laughs back then, but I suspect that the reaction would be much different today. There may have been some people who were offended by it back then—I really don’t know—but I suspect that there would be some outrage today. There would probably be a Facebook page calling for a boycott of Bill Cosby and a protest outside the offices of the network that aired his show. There might even be a congressional investigation into any potential connections between TV shows and child abuse.
Attitudes about child discipline have greatly changed in our country over the last few decades, and as a result many parents are asking questions about what is and what is not an acceptable way to discipline their children. Most of the debate and discussion today revolves around the practice of spanking. Is spanking really an acceptable method of discipline, or does it actually make children more aggressive and defiant?
As Christians, our first question should always be, “What does the Bible say about child discipline?” Since we have been studying the book of Proverbs lately, we’re going to take a look this morning at what Proverbs in particular has to say about this subject.
What does Proverbs teach about child discipline?
I. Parents must exert proper discipline on their children
According to the book of Proverbs, disciplining your children is one of the most serious responsibilities that you have as a parent. In fact, Proverbs says that your willingness to discipline your child reveals whether you love them or hate them! But what does Proverbs say about how to discipline your children? That will be our main focus today.
a. Parental discipline should include appropriate physical pain when necessary (13:24, 22:15, 23:13–14, 29:15)
This is easily the most controversial point from the teaching of Proverbs, and we’ll address that controversy in a moment. But first, let’s read the verses in question [READ 13:24, 22:15, 23:13–14, 29:15]. All of these verses speak of using a rod to discipline your children, and it seems quite clear that the verses are talking about striking your children in an appropriate way to use physical pain as a means of discipline.
Now the very idea of using physical pain to discipline your children is very controversial today. A number of pediatricians and psychologists are convinced that something like spanking can only have detrimental effects on your children. In fact, if you listen to some of them, it is almost a miracle that I’m standing before you today. I was spanked as a child, and according to their predictions, I should be a very aggressive adult who is vengeful and who uses violence to impose my will on other people. It is likely that I should be using drugs to mask the pain from my childhood years, and it is far more likely that I should be in prison rather than behind a pulpit.
I ran across one article online in which the author opposed spanking, and at the end of his article he used a series of questions and answers to sum up his main points. Here are a few of his questions and answers:
Q: What do virtually all juvenile delinquents have in common?
A: They have been raised by spankers.
Q: What was a common feature of the childhoods of Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein and Charles Manson?
A: Each one was relentlessly, severely, physically punished.
Q: What do most prisoners on death row have in common?
A: Plenty of spankings during childhood.
Q: Which child is destined never to join the company of felons?
A: One who is raised in a nurturing, attentive, supportive, non-spanking family.1
So according to that author, the case is closed—using a physical punishment like spanking will cause your child to be a juvenile delinquent and end up in prison. One pediatrician wrote, “Spanking demonstrates that it's all right for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people. Children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a good swat.”2
Now it should be noted that many critics of spanking fail to distinguish between spanking and child abuse. Even when we consider spanking, there are correct ways to do it, and incorrect ways to do it. But many critics place all forms of physical punishment into the same category, which is not an accurate way to assess them. Now we should be very clear at this point that the Bible never condones child abuse. We are not talking about causing severe, lasting harm to your child—we’re talking about pain that is significant but moderate. That’s why Solomon could say, “If you strike your child with a rod, he will not die.” He was so confident about that because he was talking about a physical punishment that was nowhere near bringing the child to the point of death.
All in all, if we take the Bible at its word, it is clear that appropriate physical punishment should be used when necessary. According to Proverbs, this is an effective and necessary way to train our children. Now at this point, it may be tempting to think, “Okay, I understand that people spanked their children back then, but haven’t we developed better methods of discipline today—methods that are more humane? Don’t we know more today about child psychology and development?” This line of thinking really challenges us to assess what we think the Bible really is. Is it simply a collection of human wisdom and understanding, or does it really contain wisdom from God? If it is just a collection of human wisdom, then we might be justified in thinking that we have better ways of living today, but if this book is truly wisdom from God, should we not believe that He knows what He’s talking about? Are we really supposed to believe that God didn’t understand child psychology when He inspired these verses?
Friends, God knows us inside and out. He knows what we need and He knows how we work. If he says that the proper use of physical punishment is good for our children, then we should believe Him and act accordingly.
But how do we make a proper use of physical punishment? Proverbs gives us some important guidelines.
b. Parental discipline should be applied in a spirit of love (13:24)
Disciplining your children is ultimately an expression of love for them, and that must be your motivation and your spirit when you carry out your discipline. Let’s look again at Prov. 13:24 [READ 13:24]. Ultimately, we discipline our children because we love them and we want them to live the right way. Now our children may not understand that when we have to spank them, but we should do all we can to communicate our love to them. We need to carry out our discipline in a manner of love. You should never spank your child just to “let off some steam” or to vent your own anger. If your temper gets the best of you, make sure you get yourself calmed down before you discipline your child. Send them to their room if you need to and get yourself under control before you discipline them. Spanking is not about getting revenge or “putting your child in his place” or humiliating your child; it is about training your child, pure and simple.
Spanking is not a way for you to release frustration; it is an expression of love for the child to help them learn right from wrong, and you must do all that you can to communicate that to them. So make sure your manner communicates love, and then express it with your words as well. Tell them that you love them, and even if they’re unhappy with you at the time, your words will stick with them.
c. Parental discipline should be applied diligently (13:24)
This lesson also comes from 13:24—“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” According to the dictionary, diligence is behavior that is marked by persevering, painstaking effort. The Hebrew word diligent comes from the same root as the Hebrew word for “dawn,” which may mean that this word carries the idea of getting an early start on something.
Diligence in discipline is so important because it provides consistency for your children. They will know what to expect from you, because if you are diligent you won’t be a punisher one day and a push-over the next! How frustrated do you get when you don’t know what to expect from a person on any given day? Imagine if your boss let you do certain things one day without correcting you, and then the next day he was all over your case for doing the same things! You wouldn’t know what you could do, and our kids experience the same frustration when there is no diligence and consistency from us.
Diligence will also let your kids know that you mean what you say. If you tell them that you will discipline them for a certain behavior and then you diligently follow up on what you said, they will learn that you mean business when you say something. If you give them a clear guideline and consistently back it up, you should be able to eliminate the use of threats, raising your voice, and repeating the same request five or six times before your children respond.
Now I can already see that this will be easier said than done with my own little girl. I know there will be days when I won’t feel like disciplining her because it will take me away from something else or it will require me to put out some more effort when I’m tired and frustrated. So I know I’ll have to fight against this temptation, and its very important that all of us seek to be diligent in discipline.
d. Parental discipline should be accompanied by instruction (29:15)
Look with me at Prov. 29:15 [READ 29:15]. Notice the intent of discipline—it is to give wisdom. Discipline is not an end in itself; it is a means to an end. It is meant to help your child learn and grow, so if there is no instruction with the discipline, the process is short-circuited.
This is one of the reasons that child abuse is so bad. Not only is the child physically harmed, but he’s never told how to avoid a beating in the future. So the child simply lives in uncertainty and fear because he doesn’t know why mom or dad was so angry in the first place.
I believe this lesson teaches us that we should never be cavalier about the way that we discipline our children. Sometimes we see parents who smack their children and then move on, or they quickly bend them over and give them a quick swat. Well, we may think that our children know what they’ve done wrong, but oftentimes they don’t—they need our instruction. And many times those reactions come from the parent’s anger or frustration rather than their love, so we need to be careful about our motives as well.
Our discipline must be accompanied by instruction or it will look much more like spite and vengeance than true discipline. We need to carefully explain things, and as you all know, oftentimes you have to be very specific with a child. They can’t necessarily apply principles to different situations, so they often need very specific instructions. And the idea of course is that as they embrace our instruction, then the need for discipline will become smaller and smaller.
There is certainly much more that could be said on this subject, and we haven’t even looked at the whole Bible—we’ve just singled out Proverbs today. But as you can see, there is much guidance and instruction in this book. If you still have some burning questions, then by all means, I would encourage you to do a full study of what the Bible says about parenting, and talk to the Christian parents here who have been through your stage of life before. Take your cues from our heavenly Father, and follow His example. You will find abundant inspiration and strength in Him.
1 From “Plain Talk About Spanking,” by Jordan Riak, http://nospank.net/pt2011.pdf Accessed 1/24/11.
2 From “Spanking: Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Child,” by William Sears, M.D. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t062100.asp Accessed 1/24/11.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Planting Trees--Proverbs series
As you all know, Carmen and I are in the early stages of the exciting adventure called “parenting.” We’re at that stage right now where Adrianna isn’t too hard to figure out. If she’s fussy, there are about four or five potential causes of her fussiness, and we can move down the checklist fairly quickly and get things figured out. I know things will change drastically from here, and I’m sure you’ll all have a few laughs at our expense as we try to figure this thing out.
I came across a song recently that I think beautifully captures the heart of what Christian parents are seeking to do as we raise our children. It’s a song by Andrew Peterson called “Planting Trees.” In this song, he compares the process of raising children to the act of planting trees, and his point is that in both activities, our goal is to leave behind a blessing for the people who come after us. When you plant a tree, oftentimes you are not the one who will receive the most benefit from its shade or its fruit—those who come after you will. In Peterson’s song, he wants us to think about raising children in the same way—that we will do it with the idea of leaving behind a blessing for future generations. In other words, our goal is to leave behind a gift in the form of our children that will be a blessing to others in the name of Jesus Christ.
Now that is certainly a lofty goal that can easily get hidden behind all the diapers and the temper tantrums and the sleepless nights. But how can we work toward a goal like that? Today we’re going to take a look at what the book of Proverbs has to say about raising children. There is much more that could be said about this subject, and that’s why people have written entire books about it. But today we’re just going to focus on the contribution that Proverbs makes to our understanding of biblical parenting.
I. Parents should be teaching moral principles to their children
I’m sure this sounds like stating the obvious, but let’s break this down into a few important points.
a. Parents bear the primary responsibility for teaching their children about life
This point is illustrated by the fact that much of Proverbs was written by Solomon for the express purpose of teaching his son. The last chapter also contains the teaching that a mother passed down to her son, so we might think of this book as a record of what we’re supposed to teach our children, because that’s the express purpose of so much of it. Just listen to how often this parent-child focus comes up in this book:
1:8–9: “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”
3:1–2: “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, 2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.”
4:10: “Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many.”
4:20: “My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.”
5:1–2: “My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, 2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.”
6:20: “My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching.”
7:1: “My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you;”
31:1: “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him.”
It’s clear that these parents recognized how important their teaching responsibility was. They told their children that their lessons could add years to their lives and would help them understand life. With something that is so important, it is clear that we cannot pass this responsibility on to anyone else; it has been given to us by God, and we must willingly devote ourselves to it.
As parents, we cannot pass this responsibility on to schools. We cannot simply send our kids to school and assume that they will come out prepared for life. Schools are a service for parents to use to help their children grow academically, but they are not a substitute for parenting. They’re not really designed to address the moral and spiritual aspects of life, nor can they easily overcome a lack of discipline in the home. So schools are a service for parents, but not a substitute for parents.
Nor can we as parents pass the responsibility to raise our kids to the church. The church cannot make up for a lack of moral and spiritual teaching in the home. Think about this—if your child attends our Sunday School and is involved in our AWANA program, then our children’s ministries are teaching them for about three hours a week. That doesn’t even come close to the amount of time that they spend with you, especially when they’re young!
The church cannot make up for that time difference, nor can we match the influence that you have in your child’s life. Your children might hear about Christianity from me, but they’ll decide whether or not they think it’s true based on your example. If you don’t teach them spiritual lessons, they might still learn some things about God, but they’ll probably learn that God is the God of Sundays and maybe Wednesdays, but the rest of the week He seems to be irrelevant to Mommy and Daddy’s life.
Now this is not to say that you need to have a daily church service with your kids. (You should particularly make sure that you don’t take up an offering. They really wouldn’t like that very much!) It can be very beneficial to have a daily devotional time with your kids, and there are many good devotional books out there that can help you do that. But it may be even more beneficial to just take advantage of those brief moments throughout the day that give you a golden opportunity to help your kids see life from a biblical perspective. In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, Moses says, “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” This is plan “A” for teaching our children about the faith—parents using the everyday moments of life to pass on the faith to their children.
Not only do parents have the responsibility to teach moral principles to their children, but…
b. Parents should teach their children about every aspect of life
As you read through the book of Proverbs, you encounter teaching on a very wide range of subjects—everything from money to fearing God to sexuality and friendship and laziness and humility and leadership! Think of a question about almost any aspect of human life and behavior, and you can probably find at least one proverb that addresses it. I believe this shows us that our responsibility to teach our children extends to every aspect of life. There is no section of life that lies outside of our responsibility to teach our children. Now maybe you hear that and think, “That sounds great, Tim, but I’m no Solomon! I’m not an expert in every area of life.” Neither am I, but that’s why Solomon and others wrote down godly wisdom for us, so we could pass it on to our children, too. We don’t have to personally know all the answers—we just need to remember that we have a message from God that does have all the answers and we can always turn to it to learn what we need.
There should be no issue that is off-limits for a discussion with our kids. We should remind them of that, and even beyond that we should take the initiative to talk to our kids about potentially embarrassing subjects. Perhaps the granddaddy of all embarrassing subjects is the issue of sexuality. I don’t know of anyone who really enjoys talking about this issue with their kids, but we have to get past that knot in our stomachs and address this issue. You don’t want the bathroom wall at school to be your child’s primary teacher on sexuality! And when our children are being told today that casual sex doesn’t hurt anyone and homosexuality is okay, we have got to counter those messages. We can’t simply assume that our children will adopt our point of view on those matters; we must lovingly teach them about God’s good plan for sexuality and patiently deal with any questions that they have.
So we must take the lead in teaching our kids in every area of life, and…
c. Parents should start to instruct their children at a young age
Look at Prov. 4:1–4 with me. Notice how Solomon describes himself when his father began to instruct him about life [READ 4:1–4]. Solomon describes himself as being just a “tender” child when he started to learn these things. That word refers to a child whose character is in the early stages of development. He was in his formative years when he began to receive this instruction. This is a great observation to help us see the importance of teaching our kids when they’re young. We always remark about how our children grow up so fast. We need to remember that as we think about teaching them! We need to remember that they probably know more than we think they do, and they can probably understand more than we think they can. Do you remember how frustrating it was for you as a child when people treated you like you were dumb? Well, remember that as you deal with your children—they will often be slightly ahead of where we think they are, so get an early start on teaching them.
For all of you parents around my age, I think it is almost certain that we will have to teach our kids about sexuality at a younger age than we were taught. That brings up some tricky questions about how to be age-appropriate as we deal with that issue, but we probably need to get started sooner than we think.
Or if you know that you want to take a particular approach to dating. It’s probably not a good idea to wait until your kids are 16 or 17 and then say, “Oh, by the way—here’s how we want to approach dating.” Start young and help them see your point of view so they’ll know what to anticipate.
Now I know that for many of you, its too late to get an early start on teaching your kids, but its never too late to serve in that teaching role for them. God can still provide many opportunities where they might come to you for guidance, or you can let them know that you want to serve in that role for them. It will certainly take some wisdom to approach a conversation like that. You don’t want to say, “Son, as I look at you, its pretty obvious that I messed up as a parent. But now I want to fix things. Whad’ya say?” No, it will probably require you to humbly say, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I have not been a perfect parent. I’m proud of who you are despite my imperfections. I don’t know if you feel like I failed to teach you about certain things, but I’d like to help you now if there’s any way that I can.” And from there, you can gently ask about different things in their lives.
It may not be possible to travel back in time, but its always possible to seek to do what God has called us to do. And when you make that commitment, oftentimes you’ll be amazed at the doors that God will open that may have seemed like they were permanently shut.
As parents, we have a precious and sacred responsibility as we raise our children. We will probably feel inadequate more often than not, and we may often get discouraged. But God has marked out a clear path for us, and as the psalmist has said, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true and righteous altogether” (Ps. 19:7–9). The path may not be easy, but it is firm and sure, and it provides us with a firm footing from which to lift our children up as a gift to God and to the world.
I came across a song recently that I think beautifully captures the heart of what Christian parents are seeking to do as we raise our children. It’s a song by Andrew Peterson called “Planting Trees.” In this song, he compares the process of raising children to the act of planting trees, and his point is that in both activities, our goal is to leave behind a blessing for the people who come after us. When you plant a tree, oftentimes you are not the one who will receive the most benefit from its shade or its fruit—those who come after you will. In Peterson’s song, he wants us to think about raising children in the same way—that we will do it with the idea of leaving behind a blessing for future generations. In other words, our goal is to leave behind a gift in the form of our children that will be a blessing to others in the name of Jesus Christ.
Now that is certainly a lofty goal that can easily get hidden behind all the diapers and the temper tantrums and the sleepless nights. But how can we work toward a goal like that? Today we’re going to take a look at what the book of Proverbs has to say about raising children. There is much more that could be said about this subject, and that’s why people have written entire books about it. But today we’re just going to focus on the contribution that Proverbs makes to our understanding of biblical parenting.
I. Parents should be teaching moral principles to their children
I’m sure this sounds like stating the obvious, but let’s break this down into a few important points.
a. Parents bear the primary responsibility for teaching their children about life
This point is illustrated by the fact that much of Proverbs was written by Solomon for the express purpose of teaching his son. The last chapter also contains the teaching that a mother passed down to her son, so we might think of this book as a record of what we’re supposed to teach our children, because that’s the express purpose of so much of it. Just listen to how often this parent-child focus comes up in this book:
1:8–9: “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”
3:1–2: “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, 2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.”
4:10: “Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many.”
4:20: “My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.”
5:1–2: “My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, 2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.”
6:20: “My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching.”
7:1: “My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you;”
31:1: “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him.”
It’s clear that these parents recognized how important their teaching responsibility was. They told their children that their lessons could add years to their lives and would help them understand life. With something that is so important, it is clear that we cannot pass this responsibility on to anyone else; it has been given to us by God, and we must willingly devote ourselves to it.
As parents, we cannot pass this responsibility on to schools. We cannot simply send our kids to school and assume that they will come out prepared for life. Schools are a service for parents to use to help their children grow academically, but they are not a substitute for parenting. They’re not really designed to address the moral and spiritual aspects of life, nor can they easily overcome a lack of discipline in the home. So schools are a service for parents, but not a substitute for parents.
Nor can we as parents pass the responsibility to raise our kids to the church. The church cannot make up for a lack of moral and spiritual teaching in the home. Think about this—if your child attends our Sunday School and is involved in our AWANA program, then our children’s ministries are teaching them for about three hours a week. That doesn’t even come close to the amount of time that they spend with you, especially when they’re young!
The church cannot make up for that time difference, nor can we match the influence that you have in your child’s life. Your children might hear about Christianity from me, but they’ll decide whether or not they think it’s true based on your example. If you don’t teach them spiritual lessons, they might still learn some things about God, but they’ll probably learn that God is the God of Sundays and maybe Wednesdays, but the rest of the week He seems to be irrelevant to Mommy and Daddy’s life.
Now this is not to say that you need to have a daily church service with your kids. (You should particularly make sure that you don’t take up an offering. They really wouldn’t like that very much!) It can be very beneficial to have a daily devotional time with your kids, and there are many good devotional books out there that can help you do that. But it may be even more beneficial to just take advantage of those brief moments throughout the day that give you a golden opportunity to help your kids see life from a biblical perspective. In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, Moses says, “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” This is plan “A” for teaching our children about the faith—parents using the everyday moments of life to pass on the faith to their children.
Not only do parents have the responsibility to teach moral principles to their children, but…
b. Parents should teach their children about every aspect of life
As you read through the book of Proverbs, you encounter teaching on a very wide range of subjects—everything from money to fearing God to sexuality and friendship and laziness and humility and leadership! Think of a question about almost any aspect of human life and behavior, and you can probably find at least one proverb that addresses it. I believe this shows us that our responsibility to teach our children extends to every aspect of life. There is no section of life that lies outside of our responsibility to teach our children. Now maybe you hear that and think, “That sounds great, Tim, but I’m no Solomon! I’m not an expert in every area of life.” Neither am I, but that’s why Solomon and others wrote down godly wisdom for us, so we could pass it on to our children, too. We don’t have to personally know all the answers—we just need to remember that we have a message from God that does have all the answers and we can always turn to it to learn what we need.
There should be no issue that is off-limits for a discussion with our kids. We should remind them of that, and even beyond that we should take the initiative to talk to our kids about potentially embarrassing subjects. Perhaps the granddaddy of all embarrassing subjects is the issue of sexuality. I don’t know of anyone who really enjoys talking about this issue with their kids, but we have to get past that knot in our stomachs and address this issue. You don’t want the bathroom wall at school to be your child’s primary teacher on sexuality! And when our children are being told today that casual sex doesn’t hurt anyone and homosexuality is okay, we have got to counter those messages. We can’t simply assume that our children will adopt our point of view on those matters; we must lovingly teach them about God’s good plan for sexuality and patiently deal with any questions that they have.
So we must take the lead in teaching our kids in every area of life, and…
c. Parents should start to instruct their children at a young age
Look at Prov. 4:1–4 with me. Notice how Solomon describes himself when his father began to instruct him about life [READ 4:1–4]. Solomon describes himself as being just a “tender” child when he started to learn these things. That word refers to a child whose character is in the early stages of development. He was in his formative years when he began to receive this instruction. This is a great observation to help us see the importance of teaching our kids when they’re young. We always remark about how our children grow up so fast. We need to remember that as we think about teaching them! We need to remember that they probably know more than we think they do, and they can probably understand more than we think they can. Do you remember how frustrating it was for you as a child when people treated you like you were dumb? Well, remember that as you deal with your children—they will often be slightly ahead of where we think they are, so get an early start on teaching them.
For all of you parents around my age, I think it is almost certain that we will have to teach our kids about sexuality at a younger age than we were taught. That brings up some tricky questions about how to be age-appropriate as we deal with that issue, but we probably need to get started sooner than we think.
Or if you know that you want to take a particular approach to dating. It’s probably not a good idea to wait until your kids are 16 or 17 and then say, “Oh, by the way—here’s how we want to approach dating.” Start young and help them see your point of view so they’ll know what to anticipate.
Now I know that for many of you, its too late to get an early start on teaching your kids, but its never too late to serve in that teaching role for them. God can still provide many opportunities where they might come to you for guidance, or you can let them know that you want to serve in that role for them. It will certainly take some wisdom to approach a conversation like that. You don’t want to say, “Son, as I look at you, its pretty obvious that I messed up as a parent. But now I want to fix things. Whad’ya say?” No, it will probably require you to humbly say, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I have not been a perfect parent. I’m proud of who you are despite my imperfections. I don’t know if you feel like I failed to teach you about certain things, but I’d like to help you now if there’s any way that I can.” And from there, you can gently ask about different things in their lives.
It may not be possible to travel back in time, but its always possible to seek to do what God has called us to do. And when you make that commitment, oftentimes you’ll be amazed at the doors that God will open that may have seemed like they were permanently shut.
As parents, we have a precious and sacred responsibility as we raise our children. We will probably feel inadequate more often than not, and we may often get discouraged. But God has marked out a clear path for us, and as the psalmist has said, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true and righteous altogether” (Ps. 19:7–9). The path may not be easy, but it is firm and sure, and it provides us with a firm footing from which to lift our children up as a gift to God and to the world.
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Way of the Wicked--Proverbs series
I’m sure just about all of us have seen the movie “The Wizard of Oz.” I want you to think with me about the way that two characters in that movie are portrayed—first, Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, and second, the Wicked Witch of the West. Since Glinda is supposed to represent goodness and virtue, she is portrayed as a beautiful woman who appears with a dream-like glow about her. She is also loved and revered by all of the Munchkins. On the other hand, we have the Wicked Witch of the West, who is ugly as sin. Her skin is green and looks sickly. She also has a harsh voice and a horrible cackle when she laughs.
The reason I mention these characterizations is because we have a tendency to do something very similar with our own behavior. We often make our own behavior out to look as good as it can possibly be, and then we characterize wicked behavior in such a way that no honest person could ever accuse us of acting in a wicked way. But the reality for us as Christians is that we are much more like Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde—one person with a good nature and an evil nature that are in conflict with one another.
As we take a look today at what the book of Proverbs says about the wicked person, I think it is very important that we don’t automatically assume that we could never fit this description. We might hear a word like “wicked” and think “That could never be true of me!” Let’s allow this description to challenge us in areas where our behavior might fit this description more than we would like to admit.
Let’s also make sure that we use this description as a mirror to look at ourselves rather than a window to look at others. As we go through this study, it will be far too easy for us to say, “Oh—I see this in so-and-so’s life, so he must be a wicked person!” We might be committing the same error that Job’s friends made when they accused him of being wicked. There is no reason for our thoughts to focus on anyone but ourselves this morning. So let’s deal with this question:
What are the characteristics of a wicked person?
I. He makes a sinful use of his words
This should make perfect sense when we remember that Jesus said our words simply flow out of whatever fills our hearts. So if there is wickedness in your heart, it will show up in some way in your words. Let’s look at Prov. 10:11 together [READ 10:11]. Notice the contrast in this verse between something that flows freely and something that is concealed or hidden or restricted. The words of the righteous nourish and enhance the lives of the people around them. They may be very encouraging or compassionate words that lift the spirits of others.
But in this verse the wicked person has a much different design for his words. Here the wicked person uses words that conceal his evil thoughts and intentions toward others. He seeks to harm others with his words. Prov. 12:5 suggests that this might be done by deliberately giving someone bad advice [READ 12:5]. The wicked person here is giving counsel or advice that is deceitful. Perhaps he has slanted his advice in such a way as to make things beneficial for himself. But the righteous person, on the other hand, is concerned about treating people in a manner that is fair.
So notice that in both of these verses, the wicked person’s speech would not sound wicked, but instead it was covering up wicked thoughts and intentions. Thus, even the motivation behind our speech is important to the Lord. We’ve always been told that if we can’t say something nice about someone, we shouldn’t say anything at all, but perhaps we should also consider why we can’t say anything nice about them! Why are we only focusing on negative thoughts toward that person? So when we speak, the actual words that come out may sound fine, but the thoughts behind them need to be fine as well.
II. He has no concern for the rights of the poor
Let’s look at Prov. 29:7 together [READ 29:7]. This is an interesting statement. The wicked person doesn’t understand why the righteous person would be concerned to care about the rights of poor people. This is probably because the wicked person doesn’t see any personal benefit in such a concern. How would he benefit from doing right by poor people?
This gives us an insight into how the wicked person views his interactions with other people—he is looking for what he can get out of his relationships. Thus, when he considers the poor person, he doesn’t see any benefit to befriending them or standing up for them. Poor people don’t have any wealth or high status in society, so why should he be concerned about them and their rights?
But the righteous person sees things differently; he sees things from God’s point of view. He doesn’t think of his relationships in terms of what he can get out of them. I’m reminded of the words that Jesus spoke in Luke 14:12–14: “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
The wicked person unfortunately doesn’t see things from God’s point of view. God has always had a special interest in the poor and needy, and He has always desired that His people would show the same interest. That must be our endeavor.
III. He does not know how to show true mercy
Let’s read Prov. 12:10 [READ 12:10]. Let’s think about the depth of this contrast here. The righteous person’s mercy extends even to his animals—he cares for their well-being and sees to it that they are properly cared for. But the wicked person cannot even show proper mercy to human beings. He apparently attempts to show mercy but he ends up doing it in a cruel way.
I think an example of this could be when we are “brutally honest” with each other. Sometimes we feel the need to tell people like it is—or at least the way we think it is—and we might think that we’re being helpful but in reality we’re being very hurtful.
For instance, suppose that someone came to me one day and was very disappointed about something they had just been through. Let’s say that they had tried to start a small business from one of their hobbies and the thing just fell flat. Then suppose that I said, “You know, Billy Bob, the reality is that you’re just a terrible businessman, and you should have known that from the start. You’ll never amount to anything in business, and the sooner you realize that, the better!”
Now, in some strange way, I may think that I’ve been helpful to Billy Bob, but in reality I’ve been very cruel. It very well may be true that Billy Bob needs to learn some things before he tries to start another business, but with that approach I’ve offered him nothing but condemnation and rejection.
Oddly enough, we can think that we’re being merciful when we talk to people in that way, but we’re really being cruel. We do need to speak the truth, of course, but we are to speak the truth in love. We may need to be blunt at times, but we can be clear without being cruel.
IV. His life is gripped by fear and paranoia
I’m sure we’ve all had this experience after we’ve done something wrong. If you’re not willing to come clean, you live with an almost constant fear of being caught. Turn over to Prov. 28:1 [READ 28:1]. What a statement about the effects that wicked behavior can have on us! This observation is a testimony to the conscience that God has placed inside us. Romans 2:15 says that God’s law has been written on our hearts, and our conscience bears witness of it.
So when we do wrong and we know it, we tend to have that nagging feeling of guilt that leaves us unsettled and uneasy around others. We’ll always be wondering if they’re on to us and if they know our secret, and for that reason we can never totally be confident around others. This observation is a strong encouragement for us to avoid that kind of behavior. If we want to live with confidence and get rid of unnecessary fear, then we must pursue righteousness.
V. His reputation grows worse even after he is gone
Look with me at Prov. 10:7 [READ 10:7]. If you think about it, the idea that someone’s reputation would get worse after they die is a bit unusual. After someone passes away, our natural tendency is to minimize their flaws and exaggerate whatever was good about them. We tend to turn people into saints, not the other way around.
I think we’ve seen this rather clearly in the aftermath of Michael Jackson’s death in 2009. Some of the responses from various people can only be described as worship, and most people would just rather forget that he unfortunately led a deeply troubled life.
So for someone’s reputation to grow worse after they pass away is an unusual thing. The idea speaks to the powerful and long-lasting effects that wicked behavior can have. Its effects can even overcome this common tendency to downplay character flaws. So what sort of memory do you want to leave for people when you pass away? Do you want them to be blessed by your memory, or do you want them to be left with perhaps a bitterness against you that only gets worse with time? That latter option really could be a reality if we choose wicked behavior.
VI. He will be repaid in this life for his wickedness
Let’s look at Prov. 11:31 [READ 11:31]. Now don’t rush too quickly over the first part of this verse and misunderstand it. We might think that Solomon is saying that the righteous are repaid on the earth for their righteousness. That may be true, but that doesn’t seem to be what Solomon is saying here. He is using an argument from the lesser to the greater, so it seems that he is saying that the righteous will deal with bad consequences from their sins. And if that’s true for the righteous, then how much more will it be true for the wicked and the sinner! That’s the heart of the verse—if even the righteous have to deal with the consequences of their sins, then you know the wicked and the sinner will, to an even greater extent.
Now don’t let a few high-profile cases make you think that this verse isn’t true. We may look at someone like Hugh Hefner and think, “I sure don’t see how he’s being repaid on the earth!” He has produced pornography for decades, yet it may seem like God hasn’t done anything about it. But we don’t know the inside story of his life, and beyond that, his life hasn’t yet come to an end. I would like to see him place his faith in Jesus and leave all of that filth behind, but God might have some very painful consequences in store for him before he passes away.
So we shouldn’t let a few supposed exceptions to this rule make us think that we can embrace a wicked lifestyle and get away with it. That would be the wrong lesson to take away from the patience that God exercises toward all of us. God’s patience should not be mistaken for a failure of justice. He will do what is just, and we can count on that!
Need I say more about what characterizes the wicked person and what his wicked behavior will receive? This description from Proverbs is a powerful motivation for us to seek to live according to God’s standards. And we must make sure that we’re measuring our conduct by God’s standard and not another standard. This description today may have shown us some areas where we have tried to re-draw the line between right and wrong, but that in itself is wicked! Let us ask for God’s forgiveness where we are wrong and ask for His strength to help us grow. That is a prayer that He will be delighted to answer.
The reason I mention these characterizations is because we have a tendency to do something very similar with our own behavior. We often make our own behavior out to look as good as it can possibly be, and then we characterize wicked behavior in such a way that no honest person could ever accuse us of acting in a wicked way. But the reality for us as Christians is that we are much more like Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde—one person with a good nature and an evil nature that are in conflict with one another.
As we take a look today at what the book of Proverbs says about the wicked person, I think it is very important that we don’t automatically assume that we could never fit this description. We might hear a word like “wicked” and think “That could never be true of me!” Let’s allow this description to challenge us in areas where our behavior might fit this description more than we would like to admit.
Let’s also make sure that we use this description as a mirror to look at ourselves rather than a window to look at others. As we go through this study, it will be far too easy for us to say, “Oh—I see this in so-and-so’s life, so he must be a wicked person!” We might be committing the same error that Job’s friends made when they accused him of being wicked. There is no reason for our thoughts to focus on anyone but ourselves this morning. So let’s deal with this question:
What are the characteristics of a wicked person?
I. He makes a sinful use of his words
This should make perfect sense when we remember that Jesus said our words simply flow out of whatever fills our hearts. So if there is wickedness in your heart, it will show up in some way in your words. Let’s look at Prov. 10:11 together [READ 10:11]. Notice the contrast in this verse between something that flows freely and something that is concealed or hidden or restricted. The words of the righteous nourish and enhance the lives of the people around them. They may be very encouraging or compassionate words that lift the spirits of others.
But in this verse the wicked person has a much different design for his words. Here the wicked person uses words that conceal his evil thoughts and intentions toward others. He seeks to harm others with his words. Prov. 12:5 suggests that this might be done by deliberately giving someone bad advice [READ 12:5]. The wicked person here is giving counsel or advice that is deceitful. Perhaps he has slanted his advice in such a way as to make things beneficial for himself. But the righteous person, on the other hand, is concerned about treating people in a manner that is fair.
So notice that in both of these verses, the wicked person’s speech would not sound wicked, but instead it was covering up wicked thoughts and intentions. Thus, even the motivation behind our speech is important to the Lord. We’ve always been told that if we can’t say something nice about someone, we shouldn’t say anything at all, but perhaps we should also consider why we can’t say anything nice about them! Why are we only focusing on negative thoughts toward that person? So when we speak, the actual words that come out may sound fine, but the thoughts behind them need to be fine as well.
II. He has no concern for the rights of the poor
Let’s look at Prov. 29:7 together [READ 29:7]. This is an interesting statement. The wicked person doesn’t understand why the righteous person would be concerned to care about the rights of poor people. This is probably because the wicked person doesn’t see any personal benefit in such a concern. How would he benefit from doing right by poor people?
This gives us an insight into how the wicked person views his interactions with other people—he is looking for what he can get out of his relationships. Thus, when he considers the poor person, he doesn’t see any benefit to befriending them or standing up for them. Poor people don’t have any wealth or high status in society, so why should he be concerned about them and their rights?
But the righteous person sees things differently; he sees things from God’s point of view. He doesn’t think of his relationships in terms of what he can get out of them. I’m reminded of the words that Jesus spoke in Luke 14:12–14: “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
The wicked person unfortunately doesn’t see things from God’s point of view. God has always had a special interest in the poor and needy, and He has always desired that His people would show the same interest. That must be our endeavor.
III. He does not know how to show true mercy
Let’s read Prov. 12:10 [READ 12:10]. Let’s think about the depth of this contrast here. The righteous person’s mercy extends even to his animals—he cares for their well-being and sees to it that they are properly cared for. But the wicked person cannot even show proper mercy to human beings. He apparently attempts to show mercy but he ends up doing it in a cruel way.
I think an example of this could be when we are “brutally honest” with each other. Sometimes we feel the need to tell people like it is—or at least the way we think it is—and we might think that we’re being helpful but in reality we’re being very hurtful.
For instance, suppose that someone came to me one day and was very disappointed about something they had just been through. Let’s say that they had tried to start a small business from one of their hobbies and the thing just fell flat. Then suppose that I said, “You know, Billy Bob, the reality is that you’re just a terrible businessman, and you should have known that from the start. You’ll never amount to anything in business, and the sooner you realize that, the better!”
Now, in some strange way, I may think that I’ve been helpful to Billy Bob, but in reality I’ve been very cruel. It very well may be true that Billy Bob needs to learn some things before he tries to start another business, but with that approach I’ve offered him nothing but condemnation and rejection.
Oddly enough, we can think that we’re being merciful when we talk to people in that way, but we’re really being cruel. We do need to speak the truth, of course, but we are to speak the truth in love. We may need to be blunt at times, but we can be clear without being cruel.
IV. His life is gripped by fear and paranoia
I’m sure we’ve all had this experience after we’ve done something wrong. If you’re not willing to come clean, you live with an almost constant fear of being caught. Turn over to Prov. 28:1 [READ 28:1]. What a statement about the effects that wicked behavior can have on us! This observation is a testimony to the conscience that God has placed inside us. Romans 2:15 says that God’s law has been written on our hearts, and our conscience bears witness of it.
So when we do wrong and we know it, we tend to have that nagging feeling of guilt that leaves us unsettled and uneasy around others. We’ll always be wondering if they’re on to us and if they know our secret, and for that reason we can never totally be confident around others. This observation is a strong encouragement for us to avoid that kind of behavior. If we want to live with confidence and get rid of unnecessary fear, then we must pursue righteousness.
V. His reputation grows worse even after he is gone
Look with me at Prov. 10:7 [READ 10:7]. If you think about it, the idea that someone’s reputation would get worse after they die is a bit unusual. After someone passes away, our natural tendency is to minimize their flaws and exaggerate whatever was good about them. We tend to turn people into saints, not the other way around.
I think we’ve seen this rather clearly in the aftermath of Michael Jackson’s death in 2009. Some of the responses from various people can only be described as worship, and most people would just rather forget that he unfortunately led a deeply troubled life.
So for someone’s reputation to grow worse after they pass away is an unusual thing. The idea speaks to the powerful and long-lasting effects that wicked behavior can have. Its effects can even overcome this common tendency to downplay character flaws. So what sort of memory do you want to leave for people when you pass away? Do you want them to be blessed by your memory, or do you want them to be left with perhaps a bitterness against you that only gets worse with time? That latter option really could be a reality if we choose wicked behavior.
VI. He will be repaid in this life for his wickedness
Let’s look at Prov. 11:31 [READ 11:31]. Now don’t rush too quickly over the first part of this verse and misunderstand it. We might think that Solomon is saying that the righteous are repaid on the earth for their righteousness. That may be true, but that doesn’t seem to be what Solomon is saying here. He is using an argument from the lesser to the greater, so it seems that he is saying that the righteous will deal with bad consequences from their sins. And if that’s true for the righteous, then how much more will it be true for the wicked and the sinner! That’s the heart of the verse—if even the righteous have to deal with the consequences of their sins, then you know the wicked and the sinner will, to an even greater extent.
Now don’t let a few high-profile cases make you think that this verse isn’t true. We may look at someone like Hugh Hefner and think, “I sure don’t see how he’s being repaid on the earth!” He has produced pornography for decades, yet it may seem like God hasn’t done anything about it. But we don’t know the inside story of his life, and beyond that, his life hasn’t yet come to an end. I would like to see him place his faith in Jesus and leave all of that filth behind, but God might have some very painful consequences in store for him before he passes away.
So we shouldn’t let a few supposed exceptions to this rule make us think that we can embrace a wicked lifestyle and get away with it. That would be the wrong lesson to take away from the patience that God exercises toward all of us. God’s patience should not be mistaken for a failure of justice. He will do what is just, and we can count on that!
Need I say more about what characterizes the wicked person and what his wicked behavior will receive? This description from Proverbs is a powerful motivation for us to seek to live according to God’s standards. And we must make sure that we’re measuring our conduct by God’s standard and not another standard. This description today may have shown us some areas where we have tried to re-draw the line between right and wrong, but that in itself is wicked! Let us ask for God’s forgiveness where we are wrong and ask for His strength to help us grow. That is a prayer that He will be delighted to answer.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Righteousness--Satisfying the Highest Standard
Do any of you like to learn about the history and meaning of words? I have to admit—I’m kind of in that category myself. I like learning about words and their history and how they’ve changed over time. Most words tend to change their meaning a little bit over the years, and this is particularly true of words that get picked up as slang words. When a word catches on as a slang word, it usually ends up with a meaning that barely resembles its original meaning.
Such is the case with the word that we are going to study today, the word “righteous” or “righteousness.” Some of you might remember when “righteous” was a fairly popular slang word. Well, I did a little homework on this and found some interesting information. Apparently some of the slang synonyms of “righteous” include: awesome, cool, sweet, gnarly, rad, and tubular. One website had some examples of “righteous” being used in a sentence to help us get it right. Apparently after you finish a nice Italian dinner you can say, “Oh, man, that lasagna was righteous!” Or if you find yourself in a group of surfers you could say, “That wave was righteous man! That so totally rocked!” Or if you’re a fan of action movies you could apparently say, “Did you see Chuck Norris kick those guys in the head? That was righteous!”
Well, to some people, the word “righteous” might be nothing more than a slightly out-of-date slang word, but in the Bible it is a very significant word that we run across quite a bit. In the New American Standard translation, the words righteous, righteousness, or righteously occur 619 times! That means that if we don’t understand this word, then we’ll be lost throughout a fairly large portion of the Bible. And what’s more, this word plays a very important role in passages that talk about our standing before God. So today I want to spend a moment defining this word from the Bible and then we’ll apply it in an important passage that deals with how God looks at us and our sin.
I. What does the word “righteous” mean?
A. Synonyms of righteous
One of the best ways to get a quick handle on what a word means is to look at its synonyms. The Bible provides us with several synonyms for the word “righteous,” many of them in describing the character of God. Deut. 32:4 is one verse that describes God as righteous and gives us several synonyms to help us understand what that means [READ Deut. 32:4] You can see that we have several synonyms here that describe God’s character and the actions that flow from his character. He is called “upright,” which is the opposite of crooked; he is called “faithful,” which means that he is trustworthy and honest. Also, the idea of justice is mentioned twice—the verse says that His ways are just and He is without injustice. So the things that he does are fair. If we measure his actions by the standard of justice, we find that his actions line up exactly. Thus, a basic summary of this verse gives us the idea that righteous character is character that meets the standard of justice.
This idea also comes through in verses that use the word righteous as a virtual synonym for “innocent” [READ Deut. 25:1]. The righteous person in this verse is the one who had not violated the standard of law; he is the innocent party. Other verses convey the same idea. In 1 Kings 8:31–32, Solomon is saying a prayer of dedication for the temple in Jerusalem and he says, “If a man sins against his neighbor and is made to take an oath before Your altar in this house, then hear in heaven and act and judge Your servants, condemning the wicked by bringing his way on his own head and justifying the righteous by giving him according to his righteousness.”
Or you may remember that when Jesus was on trial before Pilate, Pilate’s wife “sent him a message saying ‘Have nothing to do with that righteous Man; for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of Him’”[Matt. 27:19]. Jesus could be called righteous because he had not violated the standard of law—he was innocent of all of the charges that were being brought against him.
So I believe that the synonyms of the word “righteous” start to give us a basic definition for this word—“righteousness” is character that meets the standard by which it is judged. It is character that conforms to proper standards.
B. Descriptions of righteous people
I think this definition becomes even more evident when we look at descriptions of righteous people that are found in the Bible. One of the first people described as “righteous” is Noah. Genesis 6:9 says, “Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with God.” This is not to say that Noah had never sinned, but by the standard of pursuing a relationship with God, Noah was apparently the only one who met the standard, and so God spared him from the flood.
Luke 1:6 is a great example as well. In that verse, Luke talks about the parents of John the Baptist and says, “They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord.” Again, this doesn’t mean that they had never sinned; it simply means that they lived according to God’s law and took the proper steps when they did sin. So their lives matched the standard that God laid out in his law.
C. A word picture of righteousness
Finally, we also have a word picture of righteousness to help us understand this term. In the Old Testament, the picture of having clean hands was used as a synonym for righteousness. For example in 2 Samuel 22:21, David sings a song of praise to the Lord and he says, “The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.” David repeated the same idea in Psalm 18:20. You might also remember in the New Testament when Pilate washed his hands after he turned Jesus over to the people. That was a symbolic way for Pilate to claim that he was innocent with regard to Jesus’ death.
We have a very similar word picture in English when we talk about someone being caught “red-handed.” The idea is that the person who is caught is guilty and we know they’re guilty because we caught them in the act. And so we say that we caught that person red-handed.
So the word picture of having clean hands communicates the idea of innocence, the idea that someone has not violated the standard of judgment. So if we could pull all of this information together, I think we could come up with a good definition of the word righteous. Since the idea behind this word is the idea of meeting a standard, I think we could say that righteousness is character that meets God’s standards. Thus, righteous actions are actions that line up with God’s standards. A righteous person is someone who meets God’s standards.
But you may notice a little problem at this point—the rest of the Bible tells us that on our own, we haven’t met God’s standards; we have fallen short of them. Romans 3:10 says, “no one is righteous—not even one.” So what can we say then? Is there any hope for us? How can we be righteous in the eyes of God?
II. How can we be righteous in the eyes of God? Romans 4:1–8
This is a question that Paul answers in Romans 4:1–8. Turn there with me if you would. In this passage, Paul uses the example of Abraham to illustrate how we can be seen as righteous in the eyes of God [READ 4:1–8]. This passage is loaded with bookkeeping terms, or accounting terms. Picture in your mind your bank statement or your credit card statement. In one category you have your debits—all of the withdrawals you’ve made or the charges that you have on your credit card. In another category you have your credits—all of the deposits you’ve made or the payments you’ve made. Now think about this in spiritual terms for a moment—picture that debits category. The debits category contains all of the sinful things you’ve ever done; that’s a big category. And then picture your credits category. What Paul is telling us is that when we place our faith in Jesus Christ, God pulls up our account and writes the word “righteous” in the credits category, so that now in his eyes, we have met his standards. Even though we haven’t earned it, God gives us that status as a free gift.
This is so important for us to understand—when you place your faith in Jesus Christ, God looks at you and says, “You have met my standards. On the basis of what my Son has accomplished for you, I accept you according to my standards.” It is so important for us to understand this because it really colors the way that we look at our relationship with God. Far too often we feel like God demands that we earn his love and acceptance, and that’s because of the way that we usually relate to one another. In human relationships, we often use our love and acceptance like bargaining chips to manipulate the behavior of others. We hold back our full love and acceptance from each other because as long as we do we feel like we still have something to dangle over the heads of others to get them to do what we want.
And it is so easy to think that God is doing the same thing when we pick up the Bible and read his commands. So what we have to realize is that when we place our faith in Jesus, we are fully and completely accepted by God. That means that his commands for us must serve some other purpose. In fact, his commands for us show us the way to live out the meaning of life; they show us how to fulfill the purpose for which we were created, which was to be God’s representatives in this world. Because when we follow the commands of God, he receives glory from our obedience, and we fulfill our created purpose, and then we get to enjoy all of the things that come from that, like inner peace, joy, fellowship with God, and so many other things.
So even though we in ourselves are not righteous, we can still be seen as righteous in God’s eyes by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. But being declared righteous is not the same as actually living a righteous life. That is the great struggle of the Christian life—becoming what God says we are in Jesus Christ. So…
III. How can we pursue righteous behavior in our lives? 2 Timothy 3:16
Fortunately, God has given us a tool that will train us in righteousness if we will allow it to shape our minds and our hearts. It’s called the Bible. In 2 Timothy 3:16–17, Paul writes, “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” If we are going to try to meet some kind of standard for living, we have to know what the standard is and how to get there, and that is what the Bible reveals to us. It spells out the standard in God’s commands; it gives us a living, breathing picture of the standard in what it records about Jesus; it tells us how God has given us His Holy Spirit to empower us to live up to that standard. So if we are going to live righteous lives, we’ve got to follow the advice of our trainer! We must allow the Bible to shape our opinions and attitudes; we must choose to act in the way that it tells us to act rather than just follow our own desires. And when we do, it will shape our character after the pattern of Christ’s character, which will allow us to live out the status of righteousness that we now enjoy in Jesus Christ.
I believe the last word on righteousness should be that of Paul from 2 Cor. 5:21 where he describes the great trade-off that Jesus accomplished for us in his death. Paul states, “God made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.” On the basis of Jesus’ death, God offers us the free gift of salvation, and everyone who will receive it can rest assured that they are accepted according to God’s standards. Because we have no righteousness of our own, God offers to credit the righteousness of Christ to our account so that we might be forgiven. Praise be to God for His indescribable gift!
Such is the case with the word that we are going to study today, the word “righteous” or “righteousness.” Some of you might remember when “righteous” was a fairly popular slang word. Well, I did a little homework on this and found some interesting information. Apparently some of the slang synonyms of “righteous” include: awesome, cool, sweet, gnarly, rad, and tubular. One website had some examples of “righteous” being used in a sentence to help us get it right. Apparently after you finish a nice Italian dinner you can say, “Oh, man, that lasagna was righteous!” Or if you find yourself in a group of surfers you could say, “That wave was righteous man! That so totally rocked!” Or if you’re a fan of action movies you could apparently say, “Did you see Chuck Norris kick those guys in the head? That was righteous!”
Well, to some people, the word “righteous” might be nothing more than a slightly out-of-date slang word, but in the Bible it is a very significant word that we run across quite a bit. In the New American Standard translation, the words righteous, righteousness, or righteously occur 619 times! That means that if we don’t understand this word, then we’ll be lost throughout a fairly large portion of the Bible. And what’s more, this word plays a very important role in passages that talk about our standing before God. So today I want to spend a moment defining this word from the Bible and then we’ll apply it in an important passage that deals with how God looks at us and our sin.
I. What does the word “righteous” mean?
A. Synonyms of righteous
One of the best ways to get a quick handle on what a word means is to look at its synonyms. The Bible provides us with several synonyms for the word “righteous,” many of them in describing the character of God. Deut. 32:4 is one verse that describes God as righteous and gives us several synonyms to help us understand what that means [READ Deut. 32:4] You can see that we have several synonyms here that describe God’s character and the actions that flow from his character. He is called “upright,” which is the opposite of crooked; he is called “faithful,” which means that he is trustworthy and honest. Also, the idea of justice is mentioned twice—the verse says that His ways are just and He is without injustice. So the things that he does are fair. If we measure his actions by the standard of justice, we find that his actions line up exactly. Thus, a basic summary of this verse gives us the idea that righteous character is character that meets the standard of justice.
This idea also comes through in verses that use the word righteous as a virtual synonym for “innocent” [READ Deut. 25:1]. The righteous person in this verse is the one who had not violated the standard of law; he is the innocent party. Other verses convey the same idea. In 1 Kings 8:31–32, Solomon is saying a prayer of dedication for the temple in Jerusalem and he says, “If a man sins against his neighbor and is made to take an oath before Your altar in this house, then hear in heaven and act and judge Your servants, condemning the wicked by bringing his way on his own head and justifying the righteous by giving him according to his righteousness.”
Or you may remember that when Jesus was on trial before Pilate, Pilate’s wife “sent him a message saying ‘Have nothing to do with that righteous Man; for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of Him’”[Matt. 27:19]. Jesus could be called righteous because he had not violated the standard of law—he was innocent of all of the charges that were being brought against him.
So I believe that the synonyms of the word “righteous” start to give us a basic definition for this word—“righteousness” is character that meets the standard by which it is judged. It is character that conforms to proper standards.
B. Descriptions of righteous people
I think this definition becomes even more evident when we look at descriptions of righteous people that are found in the Bible. One of the first people described as “righteous” is Noah. Genesis 6:9 says, “Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with God.” This is not to say that Noah had never sinned, but by the standard of pursuing a relationship with God, Noah was apparently the only one who met the standard, and so God spared him from the flood.
Luke 1:6 is a great example as well. In that verse, Luke talks about the parents of John the Baptist and says, “They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord.” Again, this doesn’t mean that they had never sinned; it simply means that they lived according to God’s law and took the proper steps when they did sin. So their lives matched the standard that God laid out in his law.
C. A word picture of righteousness
Finally, we also have a word picture of righteousness to help us understand this term. In the Old Testament, the picture of having clean hands was used as a synonym for righteousness. For example in 2 Samuel 22:21, David sings a song of praise to the Lord and he says, “The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.” David repeated the same idea in Psalm 18:20. You might also remember in the New Testament when Pilate washed his hands after he turned Jesus over to the people. That was a symbolic way for Pilate to claim that he was innocent with regard to Jesus’ death.
We have a very similar word picture in English when we talk about someone being caught “red-handed.” The idea is that the person who is caught is guilty and we know they’re guilty because we caught them in the act. And so we say that we caught that person red-handed.
So the word picture of having clean hands communicates the idea of innocence, the idea that someone has not violated the standard of judgment. So if we could pull all of this information together, I think we could come up with a good definition of the word righteous. Since the idea behind this word is the idea of meeting a standard, I think we could say that righteousness is character that meets God’s standards. Thus, righteous actions are actions that line up with God’s standards. A righteous person is someone who meets God’s standards.
But you may notice a little problem at this point—the rest of the Bible tells us that on our own, we haven’t met God’s standards; we have fallen short of them. Romans 3:10 says, “no one is righteous—not even one.” So what can we say then? Is there any hope for us? How can we be righteous in the eyes of God?
II. How can we be righteous in the eyes of God? Romans 4:1–8
This is a question that Paul answers in Romans 4:1–8. Turn there with me if you would. In this passage, Paul uses the example of Abraham to illustrate how we can be seen as righteous in the eyes of God [READ 4:1–8]. This passage is loaded with bookkeeping terms, or accounting terms. Picture in your mind your bank statement or your credit card statement. In one category you have your debits—all of the withdrawals you’ve made or the charges that you have on your credit card. In another category you have your credits—all of the deposits you’ve made or the payments you’ve made. Now think about this in spiritual terms for a moment—picture that debits category. The debits category contains all of the sinful things you’ve ever done; that’s a big category. And then picture your credits category. What Paul is telling us is that when we place our faith in Jesus Christ, God pulls up our account and writes the word “righteous” in the credits category, so that now in his eyes, we have met his standards. Even though we haven’t earned it, God gives us that status as a free gift.
This is so important for us to understand—when you place your faith in Jesus Christ, God looks at you and says, “You have met my standards. On the basis of what my Son has accomplished for you, I accept you according to my standards.” It is so important for us to understand this because it really colors the way that we look at our relationship with God. Far too often we feel like God demands that we earn his love and acceptance, and that’s because of the way that we usually relate to one another. In human relationships, we often use our love and acceptance like bargaining chips to manipulate the behavior of others. We hold back our full love and acceptance from each other because as long as we do we feel like we still have something to dangle over the heads of others to get them to do what we want.
And it is so easy to think that God is doing the same thing when we pick up the Bible and read his commands. So what we have to realize is that when we place our faith in Jesus, we are fully and completely accepted by God. That means that his commands for us must serve some other purpose. In fact, his commands for us show us the way to live out the meaning of life; they show us how to fulfill the purpose for which we were created, which was to be God’s representatives in this world. Because when we follow the commands of God, he receives glory from our obedience, and we fulfill our created purpose, and then we get to enjoy all of the things that come from that, like inner peace, joy, fellowship with God, and so many other things.
So even though we in ourselves are not righteous, we can still be seen as righteous in God’s eyes by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. But being declared righteous is not the same as actually living a righteous life. That is the great struggle of the Christian life—becoming what God says we are in Jesus Christ. So…
III. How can we pursue righteous behavior in our lives? 2 Timothy 3:16
Fortunately, God has given us a tool that will train us in righteousness if we will allow it to shape our minds and our hearts. It’s called the Bible. In 2 Timothy 3:16–17, Paul writes, “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” If we are going to try to meet some kind of standard for living, we have to know what the standard is and how to get there, and that is what the Bible reveals to us. It spells out the standard in God’s commands; it gives us a living, breathing picture of the standard in what it records about Jesus; it tells us how God has given us His Holy Spirit to empower us to live up to that standard. So if we are going to live righteous lives, we’ve got to follow the advice of our trainer! We must allow the Bible to shape our opinions and attitudes; we must choose to act in the way that it tells us to act rather than just follow our own desires. And when we do, it will shape our character after the pattern of Christ’s character, which will allow us to live out the status of righteousness that we now enjoy in Jesus Christ.
I believe the last word on righteousness should be that of Paul from 2 Cor. 5:21 where he describes the great trade-off that Jesus accomplished for us in his death. Paul states, “God made him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.” On the basis of Jesus’ death, God offers us the free gift of salvation, and everyone who will receive it can rest assured that they are accepted according to God’s standards. Because we have no righteousness of our own, God offers to credit the righteousness of Christ to our account so that we might be forgiven. Praise be to God for His indescribable gift!
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