The Best Gift You Can Give on Father's Day--Ephesians 6:1-3

            Today, on this Father’s Day, I’m going to preach on every father’s favorite verse, Ephesians 6:1 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” I say that half-jokingly of course, because we have some other good candidates for a father’s favorite verse, like Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Or how about Romans 14:2 – “One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables.”

            Ephesians 6:1 is a very unique verse because it contains perhaps the only command in the Bible that we actually grow out of. When we become adults, the relationship of authority that we’ve had with our parents changes so that we no longer have to obey what they tell us to do, although we are still called to honor them and support them as needs arise.

            So as we actually take a look at Ephesians 6:1-3, there is something for all of us to learn. Certainly, however, I’d like for all of you children and teenagers to give me your very best attention today because we’re going to talk about a message from God that is specifically for you. I’m sure there are times when you sit here and think that I’m not really talking to you, but trust me—today I am!

So let’s see what God has to say in these verses.

“In the Lord…”

            Verse 1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” We see a very clear command to obey your parents, but this phrase “in the Lord” reminds us of a couple of very important thoughts. First, it reminds us that you should obey your parents not because they always deserve it, but because it’s what God asks you to do. So your decision to obey or not obey is mostly a question of whether you will obey God – even more so than whether you will obey your parents.

            So, for example, if your parents ask you to clean your room, you should obey because it’s what God wants you to do. And so, you should obey even if your parents don’t ask very politely, or even if they promised to play with you the night before but never got around to it, or even if they’ve not set a very good example and they never even clean their own room! You should obey because it’s what God wants you to do.

            Second, that little phrase reminds us that God is really in charge of your life – even more so than your parents – so you should continue to obey him even if your parents ask you to do something that’s wrong. Perhaps your parents are divorced and one parent wants you to be mean to the other parent. That’s something you shouldn’t do, because that would be sinful, wouldn’t it? Or perhaps your parents ask you to lie about something for them. This can be very tricky, but you need to think about how you can continue to obey God in those situations rather than do something that’s sinful. If that happens to you a lot, you might talk to your Sunday School teacher about that or your AWANA leader, and see what they can do to help.

            Now, I know many of you have heard this command for years—“obey your parents, obey your parents!” You know it’s a command for you from God, but maybe you don’t know how seriously God takes this matter. After all, some of your friends might not be very obedient to their parents. Is it really that big of a deal?

            Let me tell you about a few verses from 2 Timothy 3. In these verses, the Apostle Paul talks about how our world is going to have some big problems before Jesus returns. You may not understand all of these words—and that’s okay—but I bet one thing will jump out at you as I read [READ 2 Tim. 3:1-5]. Did you hear “disobedient to their parents” in that list? That was a list of some bad attitudes and actions, and God told Paul to put “disobedient to their parents” right in the middle of it.

            Paul also said that we need to avoid people who act in those ways. So as you’re deciding who your friends are going to be, you may have to decide that you can’t be best friends with someone who disobeys their parents a lot. You probably shouldn’t make that person the kind of friend you share secrets with, or the kind of friend that you ask for advice. That doesn’t mean you can’t play basketball with them or swim at the pool with them, but you will have to be careful how much influence you let them have over your heart.

            And for you teenagers, when you get older and start to think about dating, if you’re trying to decide whether a person is good dating material, ask yourself how they treat their parents. If that guy is disrespectful toward his parents or that girl is always mouthing off to her parents, you better run like you did when you still thought the opposite sex had cooties! The way that person treats his or her parents is exactly the way that he or she will eventually treat you. I know they don’t treat you that way in the beginning because you’re “in love,” but you just wait—its only a matter of time! So you find a person who treats his or her parents well.

“The first commandment with a promise…”

            [READ vv. 2-3] Here, Paul was quoting from the Ten Commandments back in the Old Testament. He points out something interesting about this command to honor your father and mother—even though it was the fifth commandment in that list of 10, it was the first commandment on the list that had a promise attached to it. Paul recorded the promise right there in verse 3—“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” In other words, the promise to those Jewish children was that life would be better for them if they honored their parents, and they would get to stay on the property that God was giving their people—the Promised Land.

            Now, the first part of that promise definitely still applies to you—that’s why Paul included it here. Generally speaking, life will go better for you if you honor your parents. Not only will your home life be more peaceful, but you will keep yourself out of a lot of trouble if you will honor and obey your parents.

            Now, obeying and honoring are two slightly different things. Obedience talks more about your actions, and honoring talks more about your attitude—although your attitude certainly spills over into the way you act. But let’s ask ourselves here…

What does it mean, in practical terms, to honor your father and mother?

1. Treat them like very significant and important people

            To help you understand what I’m getting at here, think about an adult other than your parents whom you greatly admire – someone that you might consider a mentor, or at the very least, someone that you want to be like. This person might be your teacher, your youth group leader, or maybe your coach.

            Think about how you treat that person. You wouldn’t dream of talking back to them because you admire them and respect them too much for that. If they give you advice, you would really take it to heart because you value their opinion. You might even go out of your way to be helpful to them because you’re thankful for them and grateful to have them in your life.

            The way that you treat that person should be the very same way that you choose to treat your parents. That’s easier said than done, of course, but at least having that comparison in mind will give you a handy way to remember what it looks like to treat someone with honor and respect.

2. Let their approval carry significant weight in your decisions

            When I was a teenager, my parents gave me almost no rules that I had to follow. I had no curfew, so I was often out at times when nothing good was going on. I had no rules about dating, which was a really bad situation. From the time I was able to drive, I was able to go out on dates with girls all alone. Quite often, my parents didn’t even know who these girls were because I wasn’t required to introduce them to my parents first or get my parents input or anything. Let’s be honest – that was not a good situation!

            Despite this lack of rules, the one thing that kept me at least close to the straight and narrow – other than the Holy Spirit of course – was that I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. They raised me with such affection that I never wanted to let them down. Besides that, I am the youngest child in my family, so I got to see firsthand how my parents’ hearts would break when my older siblings did something that they didn’t approve of.

            That desire to make them proud of my choices kept me out of trouble many times. I remember a time around Halloween when some of my buddies thought it would be fun to go steal some pumpkins from the local Walmart and smash them in the driveways of people around town. Now, I knew that if I got caught doing that, my parents would die! So I stayed behind with just one or two friends at the house where we were hanging out that night.

            Well, after a while, our buddies didn’t come back and they didn’t come back, and we eventually figured that they were just out doing their thing, so we all went home. I found out the next day that my friends hadn’t even made it 20 yards out of the Walmart parking lot before they got pulled over! When they cruised by to steal those pumpkins, there was a cop sitting in the shadows across the parking lot, and they never even saw him! They were sitting ducks!

            The manager of the store chose not to press charges, but the officer took all of my friends to the police station and made their parents come pick them up before they could leave. As you can imagine, those guys weren’t able to hang out for a while after that.

            So to all of you kids and teenagers, let your parents’ approval carry significant weight as you’re making your choices. Decide for yourself that the last thing you would want to do is disappoint these dear people who have loved you and sacrificed so much to raise you and give you everything you need.

3. Let their advice carry significant weight in your thinking

            In the lead up to Father’s Day this week, I saw a short video about kids asking their fathers for advice. It quoted a statistic – and you all know that you have to take statistics on the Internet with a grain of salt – which said that 94% of teenagers would search Google for advice about something before they would ask their own father. I can’t say how they came up with that number, but the basic claim has a ring of truth to it in my opinion.

            Look – I know it’s so tempting to think that your parents are out of touch with reality because they may not know much about pop culture or technology. I know your parents might think the X-Men are the people who make X-Boxes, but trust me – your parents know a whole lot more about life than you will ever realize until you’re older. They can certainly give you far better advice than Google!

            So choose to talk to your parents and get their advice about the questions you have and the things that confuse you. Once you hear what they have to say, don’t take it lightly, and don’t just brush it off as if they have no idea what they’re talking about. That would be a terrible mistake for you to make. Consider long and hard what they have to say, and allow their advice to shape the way that you think about the world.

            For 16 years now, my father has been battling Parkinson’s disease. That disease really affects a person’s mobility among other things. I hate to see such a routine task as walking become so difficult for my dad, and I hate it for him that he won’t be able to play with my children the way that I know he would love to.

            But what really gets to me more than anything is the fact that I can’t talk things over with my dad anymore. The medications that he takes allow him to have a greater mobility, but they keep him from thinking very clearly, so much so that it’s hard for him to follow a conversation or put more than a couple of coherent sentences together at the same time.

            If I had known earlier in my life that my dad would suffer like this from Parkinson’s disease, I don’t think I would’ve told you that the thing I’d miss the most would be his advice. But that is what I would tell you today, and so I want to tell you kids and teenagers, don’t waste your opportunity to get advice from your parents. And when they offer it or when you ask for it, don’t fall into the foolish trap of thinking that you know better than they do. One of their God-given tasks is to teach you about life and how to make wise decisions, and I know that every parent I see in this room today takes that job seriously. So be thankful for them, and let their advice sink down deep into your souls, so that you might come to know how to make wise decisions.