Sharing the Gospel Clearly--Life with God Series

            In some ways, communicating with other people is easier than ever these days. If I need to get a hold of you about something, I have close to ten different ways to do that. I can meet with you in person, send you a letter, send you an e-mail, or call your home phone. If you’re not at home, that’s no big deal, because I can call your cell phone or text you or video chat with you or send you a Facebook message.

            But ironically, communicating about important matters is just as hard as ever. One of the keys for good communication is to have your message crystal-clear in your own mind. If you’re confused about what you want to say, then there’s very little chance that you can make your point clear to someone else.

            With that thought in mind, we’re going to take a look today at what the message of the Gospel truly is. Last week, we talked about finding the boldness to tell others about the Gospel, but the truth is that we will never feel very bold until we have the essence of the Gospel clearly defined in our own minds. So first, let’s talk about what the Gospel is not, then we’ll look at a passage that tells us clearly what it is.

What the Gospel is NOT

1. It is not the entire story contained in the Bible

            As Christians ourselves, we know that Christians are familiar with the story of the Bible from Creation all the way to the Book of Revelation. The Gospel is not that entire story, however—it’s a much smaller slice of that story. When you’re sharing the Gospel, then, it’s not necessary to tell the whole story of the Bible. That’s nice to know, because it makes the thought of sharing the Gospel a little less daunting.

2. It is not an explanation of how Christians think or behave

            Sometimes we get in conversations about why Christians do or do not do certain things, and while those are good conversations to have, we need to realize that talking about some part of a Christian lifestyle is not the same as sharing the Gospel. So if you explain to someone why Christians don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, that’s good—but it’s not the same thing as sharing the Gospel.

The Heart of the Gospel—1 Corinthians 15:1-8

            So what is the Gospel? The Apostle Paul reveals the heart of it in 1 Corinthians 15:1-8 [READ].

            These verses present two main claims about Jesus, which form the heart of the Gospel. For each claim, there is also a piece of evidence or proof given that establishes the truth of the claim. The first claim is that Christ died for our sins. The proof of this is that he was buried. The second claim is that He was raised on the third day. The proof of this claim is that he appeared to many different people.

            It is the claims mentioned here that form the heart of the Gospel. The proofs are important, of course, because they tell us that the claims are true, but when you are sharing the Gospel with someone else, it’s not entirely necessary to emphasize the proofs unless the other person asks for some reasons to believe the claims. And so, it is these claims about Jesus—that He died for our sins and then was raised—that form the core of this message that we call “the Gospel.”

            Notice two other details from this passage—details that also form a central part of the Gospel. Paul stated in v. 3 that it was Christ who died for our sins. This little word reminds us of what people must believe about Jesus in order to be saved.

            Remember that the word “Christ” is not Jesus’ last name. In fact, it’s not part of His name at all; rather, it’s a title that describes who Jesus is. The title “Christ” means “anointed one” or “chosen one,” so Paul’s usage of the title here reminds us that it wasn’t just a mere man who died for our sins—it was God’s chosen one. And why was Jesus God’s chosen one? Because He was in fact the Son of God—fully divine, just as God the Father is divine.

            So this truth must also be communicated when we share the Gospel. The only reason why Jesus’ death had any benefit for us at all is because He was the Christ—God’s own Son, designated (or anointed or chosen) to be the Savior of the world.

            And how is it that we receive the benefits that Christ’s death and resurrection have provided for us? That’s what Paul told us in vv. 1-2—“which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved.” We receive forgiveness for our sins simply by receiving it from Christ—accepting Him for who He is, and resting in what He has done for us.

            This picture of “standing” upon the Gospel is a helpful one for explaining what it means to accept Jesus in faith. As far as my confidence of being forgiven is concerned, I take my stand entirely upon these facts—that the Son of God died for my sins and was raised on the third day. I stand on that foundation and no other. I don’t have one foot on Christ and one foot on my own good works—no, I have both feet planted firmly on Christ.

So these verses in 1 Corinthians 15 give us the heart of the Gospel. Christ, God’s chosen one—the very Son of God—died for my sins and was raised on the third day. I receive forgiveness for my sins simply by receiving Christ—in other words, taking my stand upon what He accomplished for me. That is the heart of the message that we desire to share with others so that they can be saved. But how might approach the actual act of sharing that message?

How Can We Share the Gospel?

            Obviously, there are many different ways that we can share this message. The variety is just as wide as the variety of people we meet and the variety of conversations that we have. Perhaps in your life you have memorized certain ways of sharing the Gospel, such as the Romans Road. These can be good and helpful, but above all, it is most important to simply have the heart of the Gospel clearly defined in your own mind so that you are free to share this message in a variety of ways.

Telling Your Own Conversion Story

            Today, though, I would like you to think about how you could share the Gospel in the context of telling your own conversion story. I’d like to suggest this thought for two reasons.

Why share your story?

1. Our culture places a high value on a person’s life story/personal perspective.

            Now, our culture does take this respect way too far by saying that I can decide what’s true for me from the context of my life story, and you can decide what’s true for you from the context of your life story. That’s going too far, but nevertheless, our culture does consider it a virtue to show respect for another person’s life story or personal perspective, so we can use that fact to our advantage.

2. Sharing your conversion story is less intimidating and is not directly confrontational

            It is less intimidating in part because it is a more natural conversation. We talk about our lives with lots of friends and acquaintances all the time. We talk about what we did over the weekend, where we grew up; we talk about our hobbies. So when we talk about our conversion stories, it’s a pretty natural step from the kinds of conversations that we have all the time.

            It’s also a less intimidating approach because it’s easier to remember. We can all remember our conversion stories because we lived through them. If you’re trying to rely on a memorized presentation, though, there’s always that fear that you might forget the next verse you’re supposed to quote!

            Also, sharing your story is not directly confrontational. Someone might dismiss your story, but they can’t really argue with it. They might say, “I’m glad that’s worked for you,” but they can’t honestly say, “You’re lying! You didn’t find comfort in the Gospel during that hard time in your life!”

Two Ways to Structure Your Story

            Even though you know your own conversion story well, it can still be helpful to think about how to share your story. If you have even a very simple outline in mind, it can help you share clearly and make sure you emphasize the Gospel. Let me suggest two different outlines that might be a good fit for your story.

1. For an older conversion or dramatic conversion

            If you were saved a little later in life or you had a very dramatic change when you were saved, you might structure your story like so. First, share what life was like for you before you were saved. Highlight some of the problems that the Gospel solved for you. Perhaps you dealt with a lot of hopelessness or shame, or your lifestyle was very destructive toward yourself and others.

            Then, talk about when you accepted Christ. At this point, you would be careful to mention those claims that form the heart of the Gospel—that Christ died for our sins and was raised on the third day.

            Finally, you would describe how your life has changed since you accepted Christ. At this point, you could touch on how Christ has made all the difference for the problems you mentioned before—He has given you hope, He has taken away your shame, He has empowered you to change in ways you never thought possible.

2. For a younger conversion or less dramatic conversion

            For some of us, we don’t have much to talk about when it comes to our pre-conversion years because we were saved at a young age. Yes, maybe we lived like horrible heathens, but then we turned six and got saved! There’s not much for us to share about our life before Christ, so what we want to emphasize is how life with Christ has made all the difference.

            Here’s how we might approach our story, then: talk first about the grand sweep of your life. You might highlight some particular highs and lows, joys and sorrows. If the person you’re talking to is going through a struggle that you’ve faced, then naturally you might want to highlight that fact.

            Then, bring it all back to Christ and the Gospel. Explain to them that through it all, what Christ did for you has made all the difference. And of course, this is where you would emphasize the core claims of the Gospel about Christ’s death for your sins and His resurrection.

            However you share it, the Gospel is a message worthy of being proclaimed, because it tells of a Savior who is worthy of being praised. As the Scripture says, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach good news (Romans 10:15)!” And good news is precisely what we have!

            So let us never be ashamed of the Gospel! Whether others realize it yet or not, it is good news for their souls. And how will they realize it if we do not tell them?

The Best Gift You Can Give on Father's Day--Ephesians 6:1-3

            Today, on this Father’s Day, I’m going to preach on every father’s favorite verse, Ephesians 6:1 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” I say that half-jokingly of course, because we have some other good candidates for a father’s favorite verse, like Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Or how about Romans 14:2 – “One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables.”

            Ephesians 6:1 is a very unique verse because it contains perhaps the only command in the Bible that we actually grow out of. When we become adults, the relationship of authority that we’ve had with our parents changes so that we no longer have to obey what they tell us to do, although we are still called to honor them and support them as needs arise.

            So as we actually take a look at Ephesians 6:1-3, there is something for all of us to learn. Certainly, however, I’d like for all of you children and teenagers to give me your very best attention today because we’re going to talk about a message from God that is specifically for you. I’m sure there are times when you sit here and think that I’m not really talking to you, but trust me—today I am!

So let’s see what God has to say in these verses.

“In the Lord…”

            Verse 1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” We see a very clear command to obey your parents, but this phrase “in the Lord” reminds us of a couple of very important thoughts. First, it reminds us that you should obey your parents not because they always deserve it, but because it’s what God asks you to do. So your decision to obey or not obey is mostly a question of whether you will obey God – even more so than whether you will obey your parents.

            So, for example, if your parents ask you to clean your room, you should obey because it’s what God wants you to do. And so, you should obey even if your parents don’t ask very politely, or even if they promised to play with you the night before but never got around to it, or even if they’ve not set a very good example and they never even clean their own room! You should obey because it’s what God wants you to do.

            Second, that little phrase reminds us that God is really in charge of your life – even more so than your parents – so you should continue to obey him even if your parents ask you to do something that’s wrong. Perhaps your parents are divorced and one parent wants you to be mean to the other parent. That’s something you shouldn’t do, because that would be sinful, wouldn’t it? Or perhaps your parents ask you to lie about something for them. This can be very tricky, but you need to think about how you can continue to obey God in those situations rather than do something that’s sinful. If that happens to you a lot, you might talk to your Sunday School teacher about that or your AWANA leader, and see what they can do to help.

            Now, I know many of you have heard this command for years—“obey your parents, obey your parents!” You know it’s a command for you from God, but maybe you don’t know how seriously God takes this matter. After all, some of your friends might not be very obedient to their parents. Is it really that big of a deal?

            Let me tell you about a few verses from 2 Timothy 3. In these verses, the Apostle Paul talks about how our world is going to have some big problems before Jesus returns. You may not understand all of these words—and that’s okay—but I bet one thing will jump out at you as I read [READ 2 Tim. 3:1-5]. Did you hear “disobedient to their parents” in that list? That was a list of some bad attitudes and actions, and God told Paul to put “disobedient to their parents” right in the middle of it.

            Paul also said that we need to avoid people who act in those ways. So as you’re deciding who your friends are going to be, you may have to decide that you can’t be best friends with someone who disobeys their parents a lot. You probably shouldn’t make that person the kind of friend you share secrets with, or the kind of friend that you ask for advice. That doesn’t mean you can’t play basketball with them or swim at the pool with them, but you will have to be careful how much influence you let them have over your heart.

            And for you teenagers, when you get older and start to think about dating, if you’re trying to decide whether a person is good dating material, ask yourself how they treat their parents. If that guy is disrespectful toward his parents or that girl is always mouthing off to her parents, you better run like you did when you still thought the opposite sex had cooties! The way that person treats his or her parents is exactly the way that he or she will eventually treat you. I know they don’t treat you that way in the beginning because you’re “in love,” but you just wait—its only a matter of time! So you find a person who treats his or her parents well.

“The first commandment with a promise…”

            [READ vv. 2-3] Here, Paul was quoting from the Ten Commandments back in the Old Testament. He points out something interesting about this command to honor your father and mother—even though it was the fifth commandment in that list of 10, it was the first commandment on the list that had a promise attached to it. Paul recorded the promise right there in verse 3—“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” In other words, the promise to those Jewish children was that life would be better for them if they honored their parents, and they would get to stay on the property that God was giving their people—the Promised Land.

            Now, the first part of that promise definitely still applies to you—that’s why Paul included it here. Generally speaking, life will go better for you if you honor your parents. Not only will your home life be more peaceful, but you will keep yourself out of a lot of trouble if you will honor and obey your parents.

            Now, obeying and honoring are two slightly different things. Obedience talks more about your actions, and honoring talks more about your attitude—although your attitude certainly spills over into the way you act. But let’s ask ourselves here…

What does it mean, in practical terms, to honor your father and mother?

1. Treat them like very significant and important people

            To help you understand what I’m getting at here, think about an adult other than your parents whom you greatly admire – someone that you might consider a mentor, or at the very least, someone that you want to be like. This person might be your teacher, your youth group leader, or maybe your coach.

            Think about how you treat that person. You wouldn’t dream of talking back to them because you admire them and respect them too much for that. If they give you advice, you would really take it to heart because you value their opinion. You might even go out of your way to be helpful to them because you’re thankful for them and grateful to have them in your life.

            The way that you treat that person should be the very same way that you choose to treat your parents. That’s easier said than done, of course, but at least having that comparison in mind will give you a handy way to remember what it looks like to treat someone with honor and respect.

2. Let their approval carry significant weight in your decisions

            When I was a teenager, my parents gave me almost no rules that I had to follow. I had no curfew, so I was often out at times when nothing good was going on. I had no rules about dating, which was a really bad situation. From the time I was able to drive, I was able to go out on dates with girls all alone. Quite often, my parents didn’t even know who these girls were because I wasn’t required to introduce them to my parents first or get my parents input or anything. Let’s be honest – that was not a good situation!

            Despite this lack of rules, the one thing that kept me at least close to the straight and narrow – other than the Holy Spirit of course – was that I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. They raised me with such affection that I never wanted to let them down. Besides that, I am the youngest child in my family, so I got to see firsthand how my parents’ hearts would break when my older siblings did something that they didn’t approve of.

            That desire to make them proud of my choices kept me out of trouble many times. I remember a time around Halloween when some of my buddies thought it would be fun to go steal some pumpkins from the local Walmart and smash them in the driveways of people around town. Now, I knew that if I got caught doing that, my parents would die! So I stayed behind with just one or two friends at the house where we were hanging out that night.

            Well, after a while, our buddies didn’t come back and they didn’t come back, and we eventually figured that they were just out doing their thing, so we all went home. I found out the next day that my friends hadn’t even made it 20 yards out of the Walmart parking lot before they got pulled over! When they cruised by to steal those pumpkins, there was a cop sitting in the shadows across the parking lot, and they never even saw him! They were sitting ducks!

            The manager of the store chose not to press charges, but the officer took all of my friends to the police station and made their parents come pick them up before they could leave. As you can imagine, those guys weren’t able to hang out for a while after that.

            So to all of you kids and teenagers, let your parents’ approval carry significant weight as you’re making your choices. Decide for yourself that the last thing you would want to do is disappoint these dear people who have loved you and sacrificed so much to raise you and give you everything you need.

3. Let their advice carry significant weight in your thinking

            In the lead up to Father’s Day this week, I saw a short video about kids asking their fathers for advice. It quoted a statistic – and you all know that you have to take statistics on the Internet with a grain of salt – which said that 94% of teenagers would search Google for advice about something before they would ask their own father. I can’t say how they came up with that number, but the basic claim has a ring of truth to it in my opinion.

            Look – I know it’s so tempting to think that your parents are out of touch with reality because they may not know much about pop culture or technology. I know your parents might think the X-Men are the people who make X-Boxes, but trust me – your parents know a whole lot more about life than you will ever realize until you’re older. They can certainly give you far better advice than Google!

            So choose to talk to your parents and get their advice about the questions you have and the things that confuse you. Once you hear what they have to say, don’t take it lightly, and don’t just brush it off as if they have no idea what they’re talking about. That would be a terrible mistake for you to make. Consider long and hard what they have to say, and allow their advice to shape the way that you think about the world.

            For 16 years now, my father has been battling Parkinson’s disease. That disease really affects a person’s mobility among other things. I hate to see such a routine task as walking become so difficult for my dad, and I hate it for him that he won’t be able to play with my children the way that I know he would love to.

            But what really gets to me more than anything is the fact that I can’t talk things over with my dad anymore. The medications that he takes allow him to have a greater mobility, but they keep him from thinking very clearly, so much so that it’s hard for him to follow a conversation or put more than a couple of coherent sentences together at the same time.

            If I had known earlier in my life that my dad would suffer like this from Parkinson’s disease, I don’t think I would’ve told you that the thing I’d miss the most would be his advice. But that is what I would tell you today, and so I want to tell you kids and teenagers, don’t waste your opportunity to get advice from your parents. And when they offer it or when you ask for it, don’t fall into the foolish trap of thinking that you know better than they do. One of their God-given tasks is to teach you about life and how to make wise decisions, and I know that every parent I see in this room today takes that job seriously. So be thankful for them, and let their advice sink down deep into your souls, so that you might come to know how to make wise decisions.

How to Obey God: According to Paul--Parenting Series

            A triangle is one of the strongest shapes to use in construction. Its three sides support each other in a powerful way to bear the weight of other objects. A few weeks ago as we talked about the subject of parenting, we looked at the what, how, and why of our task as parents. We determined that we must also give our children the what, how, and why of their responsibility to obey both us and the Lord. We can think about these three parts—the what, how, and why—as three sides of a triangle that will help our children bear the weight of the pressure that the world places upon them to live an ungodly lifestyle.

            The “what” question, you may remember, is answered very simply by all of the commands in the Bible—particularly for us, the commands of the New Testament. These commands make up the standard for living that we are supposed to pass along to our children.

            Now, as I stated a few weeks ago, I don’t think the “what” question is our greatest challenge as parents. We know pretty well what God’s commands are. It’s the “how” and “why” questions that really trip us up. Today, we are going to begin to take a closer look at the “how” question—how can we successfully live out the commands of Scripture? Once we can answer this question for ourselves, we can then pass this lesson along little by little to our children. Today, I will offer you a basic answer to this question, then we’ll take a closer look at how the various authors of the New Testament build upon this answer.

How Can We Successfully Live Out the Commands of Scripture?

            The basic answer to this question is “by constantly reminding ourselves about the message of the Gospel.” This is the path to spiritual success for each one of us, so it is the path on which we want to set our children as well. We want to continually point them to the Gospel, then after they hopefully accept Christ as their Savior, we want to keep pointing them back to the Gospel as well.

            Now this focus on the Gospel may seem a little odd because we often think of the Gospel as being a message about our future. We think of the Gospel as being the good news that by placing our faith in Jesus we can go to heaven rather than hell after we die. That is certainly good news, but how does that help me in the here and now? That’s kind of like Social Security—it’ll be a nice benefit once I retire, but it doesn’t help me pay my bills right now!

            What we have to realize is that the Gospel is not just a message about our future—it is a message about our past and our present as well. The Gospel is the good news that I am no longer defined by my past, with all of its sinfulness and dysfunction. Instead, I now have a vibrant relationship with God in the present that will simply reach its fullness in the future when I live with Him in heaven. When we think of the Gospel in all three tenses—past, present, and future—we will begin to see the power that it gives us to have spiritual success today.

How do the authors of the New Testament build upon this basic answer to the question about successfully living out God’s commands? In the rest of our time today, we’ll look at how the Apostle Paul expounded on this thought, and I have no doubt that we will be encouraged by what we see.

According to the Apostle Paul, How Can We Obey God’s Commands?

            For Paul, the path to spiritual success is all about recognizing the resources that we have “in Christ.” I put that little phrase in quotation marks because it is one of Paul’s favorite phrases. Paul wrote 13 books of the New Testament, and in those 13 books he uses phrases like “in Christ” or “in Christ Jesus” around 170 times. He constantly wrote about the new identity we have in Christ and the new power that we have in Christ. In many of his letters, he spent the first half writing about all the theology of this “in Christ” idea, then he shifted gears for the second half and said, “Now let me show you what this looks like in daily life.” We can summarize what Paul had to say about our resources in Christ by looking at them with respect to each of the three persons of the Trinity.

1. We have a new relationship with God the Father

            First of all, we are at peace with Him, according to Romans 5:1. We used to be enemies of God—according to that same passage—because we were in rebellion against Him. We were hostile to Him because we knew that He disapproved of our sinful lifestyle. But now that we have confessed our sins to Him and accepted Christ by faith, we are at peace with God. We have a peace treaty in Jesus Christ, and now God is our ally rather than our enemy.

            Along the same line, we no longer face God’s condemnation, according to Romans 8:1. God has rendered His verdict about us, and His ruling is that all the demands of His law have been met by Jesus, and His innocence has been placed on our account through faith. We have been sent out of God’s courtroom never to return again! Our lives will be evaluated by God someday, but we won’t be like defendants in a courtroom. We will be like a diver, or a gymnast, or a figure skater—standing before the judges to see if we’ve won the prize. We may receive a greater or lesser prize based on our obedience to God, but we won’t bear the eternal penalty of our sins because that matter was settled when we accepted Christ.

            Third, we are now God’s adopted children (Rom. 8:15; Eph. 1:5). God has committed Himself to do all the things for us that a father is supposed to do—He provides for us, protects us, loves us, and disciplines us. We no longer relate to God primarily as our judge, but as our Father. There is intimacy and affection in our relationship with Him.

2. We have a new identity as Christ

            This is a life-changing idea when you understand it. I said we have a new identity as Christ for a reason—according to Paul, when we accept Christ, on a spiritual level His history becomes our history. We are united to Him spiritually so that we become part of His story and actually share in His destiny. This spiritual unity is so complete that Paul wrote in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Notice all the details of Christ’s history that have now become our spiritual history:

·         We were crucified with Him (Galatians 2:20)

·         We died with Him (Romans 6:3-7)

·         We were buried with Him (Romans 6:3-7)

·         We were resurrected with Him (Romans 6:3-7)

·         We have been seated with Him in heaven (Ephesians 2:4-6; Colossians 3:1-4)

·         We will be with Him in His future glory (Colossians 3:1-4)

·         We will reign with Him in His earthly kingdom (1 Corinthians 6:2; 2 Timothy 2:12)

            When we placed our faith in Christ, we were placed into His story, so that we are now literally living out the life of Jesus. Let me offer a couple of illustrations to help you understand this idea. You may be familiar with the witness protection program, which relocates people who serve as witnesses in a trial who may be in danger because of their testimony. When a person enters that program, they go through a complete and radical change of identity. They receive a new name and a new background and are moved to a totally new location. Their old identity just sort of dies out, and everything they do is now done under their new identity.

            This illustration gives us a very helpful way to think about our new identity in Christ. Spiritually, my identity as Tim Erickson has died out! As Paul said, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.”

            Here’s another helpful illustration—some of you will remember the old TV show “Quantum Leap.” In that show, Scott Bakula’s character, Sam Beckett, would leap around through time and space into the body of a different person for each episode. While he was in that person’s body, he was living out their life, and normally he would solve some kind of problem for them. His own identity as Sam Beckett faded into the background every time he leapt into a new person, and that person’s identity became the focus.

            If you want to think of your relationship with Christ that way, that’s fine too! We have leapt into the story of Christ, so that we are now supposed to live out His life in this world. We are so closely identified with Jesus that Paul says we are now His ambassadors (2 Cor. 5:20). An ambassador is someone who is authorized to speak for another person with that person’s same authority.

            Ambassadors in Paul’s time had a more important role than they do today. Today, if President Obama wants to speak to a world leader, he can just pick up the phone and talk to him. Back then, communication was obviously more difficult, so when an ambassador was sent to a far-off country, he was given the authority to speak as if the king himself were right there doing all the talking! The ambassador literally stood in the place of the king.

            My friends, this is the role that you and I occupy today for Jesus! Jesus is not physically here in the world right now; He is in heaven, but He has sent us out as His ambassadors, to speak for Him and share His message with others. This is an amazing concept, and it gives such meaning and purpose to our lives. We are living out the life of Christ!

But we don’t have to just muster up our own power to live His life!

3. We have a new power through the Holy Spirit (Romans 8)

            In Romans 8:1-4, Paul writes about the new power that we have through the Holy Spirit to obey God [READ Rom. 8:1-4; in v. 2 when Paul mentions “the law,” he is talking about a power inside of us; in vv. 3-4 he is talking about the Old Testament Law].

            In essence, Paul is saying that the Holy Spirit, who now lives in us, gives us a power to obey God’s commands that we did not have in our sinful state. Before we accepted Christ, we did not have the power to obey God on our own. We were in bondage to the influence of sin, and it had the power to boss us around. But now, we have been set free from sin’s influence by the power of the Holy Spirit.

            One of my professors in seminary explained it this way. He had been in the military as a young man, and he would tell us that if his old drill sergeant marched into the room and started barking out orders, he just might obey him because he had been so thoroughly conditioned to respond to that voice. But in reality, he could stop himself and say, “Wait a minute! I’m a civilian now. I’m not under your authority. You don’t have the power to boss me around anymore!”

            That’s what our relationship to sin is like. Sin used to have the power to boss us around, and we were helpless against it. But sin doesn’t have the power to boss us around anymore! We don’t have to sin “yes” to our sinful desires ever again! Now those desires are still appealing to us because sin is like that old, familiar voice that calls us to come back to old habits; sin is like that old drill sergeant who we were conditioned to obey.

            But now, the Holy Spirit lives within us and His power is available to us! Sin is no longer our master—Jesus is! And the Holy Spirit will empower us to obey Jesus when we make the choice to do so.

            These ideas from Paul are part of the answer to the question of how to live an obedient life. These are ideas that we must first embrace ourselves, and then as our kids grow we can plant them in their hearts as well. Remember the pattern from Deuteronomy 6—first of all, love God yourself and internalize His truth, then just teach your kids to do the same thing.

            Obviously, when our kids are young, they won’t fully grasp these concepts, but we can start to introduce them on a simple level from a very young age. Kids like to play make-believe, right? We can tell them how God has a very special role for them to play—that they are actually playing the part of Jesus in this world.

            Kids like to daydream about having super-powers. We can tell them that they have a super-power in their heart—the power to do what’s right. We can explain that this may not seem like an impressive super-power at first, but this is when we emphasize the “why” of obedience, like the possibility of avoiding bad consequences and receiving a blessing instead.

            So this is the gist of the “how” question—point your kids to the gospel, then after they hopefully receive it, keep pointing them back to it all the time!

Guardrails for the Parenting Task--Parenting Series

            Many of you know that Carmen and I recently had the opportunity to minister at a Bible college in Jackson, WY. We decided to make the 15-hour drive this year rather than fly, and much of the time we were in areas that I wouldn’t exactly call “pretty.” But as we got closer to Jackson, we were driving directly through the mountains, which offered some breath-taking views. It also offered a few moments which made me think, “Man! That would have been a nice place for a guardrail!” Every so often, the road ran along the edge of a hill with a substantial drop-off, but there wasn’t a guardrail there to keep you on the road.

            Last week, as we studied the commands of Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21, we encountered a guardrail that is designed to help us safely reach our destination of biblical parenting. It was put in place to keep us from veering off into dangerous territory. This guardrail was most clearly expressed in the first phrase of Ephesians 6:4, which says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.”

            Today, we’re going to discuss some ways in which we commonly find ourselves on the wrong side of that guardrail. There are ways in which we can behave that are violations of that prohibition, and if we realize that we have veered off into dangerous territory, then we can make the changes that are necessary to correct our course.

In what ways might we violate the prohibition of Ephesians 6:4?

            As we answer this question, let’s consider a general guideline, and then we’ll talk about some specific behaviors that are more common. Our general guideline is very simple—any sin would be a violation of this prohibition. If we sin against our children, we would be tempting them to get angry and would be pushing them in that direction. So anything that the Bible calls a sin is off-limits for us in our relationships with our kids.

            This is obvious when we stop and think about it, but the problem is that we don’t always stop and think about it. We don’t tend to place biblical commands in the context of our relationship with our kids. Think about the command in Colossians 4:6, which says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Normally when we hear a command like that, we’ll think about that in terms of speaking to our neighbors or co-workers, and maybe we’ll think about it in the context of marriage, but we rarely get around to thinking about it in the context of speaking to our children.

            In my opinion, we might fail to connect these dots because we have an incorrect view of parental authority. Its easy for us to think of ourselves like dictators in our own homes, and thus we get to play by some different set of rules. We can also embrace a bizarre pragmatism which says that as long as I get my kids to “obey,” anything I do to reach that goal is okay.

            That mindset is not what parental authority is all about. We’re much more like middle management in a corporation—our task is to take whatever comes from corporate headquarters (God) and implement it on the local level (the home). Our parental authority is set within the bounds of God’s commands, so we have no freedom to violate them just because we have some authority in our homes.

            Now on a practical level, I think we might fail to connect these dots because when we’re at home, we want to relax and let our guard down. We don’t want to keep our spiritual guard up, so we actually become easy targets for temptation because we’re not on the lookout for it.

            Certainly we do want our homes to have a relaxing atmosphere, but the way to create that atmosphere is to keep your spiritual guard up, not let it down. When we all let our spiritual guard down, that’s when we create the environment in which everyone is walking around on eggshells because someone is liable to blow up at any moment! So we must ask the Lord to help us keep our spiritual guard up at all times, even when we are at home.

Now what are some common ways in which we might provoke our children to anger? This is not a complete list by any means, but I do think we can focus on three areas.

1. Sins of Speech

            We may sin through the words we say in several ways.

            a. In content (Matthew 5:22)

            Sometimes we just choose our words very poorly when we speak to our children. They might make a particular choice sometime, and in a moment of exasperation we may say, “How could you have been so stupid?” Obviously, that’s not a good tone of voice, but the choice of words itself is sinful. In Matthew 5:22, Jesus says, “whoever insults his brother will be liable to the [court], and whoever says, ‘you fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”

            Words that are insulting and degrading have no place in our communication with our children. They violate the basic dignity that our children possess as human beings, made in the image of God. According to James 3, this is what makes sins of speech sinful—we are tearing down something to which God gave His own resemblance, so to speak. So everyone deserves a basic level of respect from us, and that includes our children.

            b. In manner (Colossians 4:6)

            Sometimes its not what you say, but how you say it—right? Our body language and tone of voice can express all kinds of sinful attitudes—anger, impatience, rudeness, arrogance. All of these are sinful attitudes that we are to put off.

            Consider the command I mentioned earlier from Colossians 4:6—“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt (that means ‘palatable’), so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Again, we are sometimes tempted to think that we have a different set of rules in the home because we as parents are the authority, but we don’t! We don’t get a pass on the way we speak to our kids just because we have authority, so we must watch the way we say things.

            c. In timing/location (Proverbs 15:23)

            We may cause our children unnecessary embarrassment by dealing with something publicly that should be dealt with in private. We may need to take our children out of a public setting to deal with something right away, but that is different from speaking to them or punishing them out in the open. Not only could we cause unnecessary embarrassment for our kids, we will probably also make them less inclined to hear what we have to say. Proverbs 15:23 says, “To make an apt answer is a joy to a man, and a word in season, how good it is!” Saying the right thing at the wrong time can make the right thing come across the wrong way!

2. Sins of Action

           

            a. Dealing with our children in anger (James 1:19-20)

            We can easily provoke our children to anger if we deal with them in anger because they’ll simply be taking their cues from us!  In those situations, they’re just reflecting our own behavior back to us. If its okay for you to act that way, then it must be okay for them to act that way—at least that’s how they’ll look at it.

            James 1:19-20 says, “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Anger can be appropriate when we are angry on behalf of God. That’s why James says to be “slow to anger”—we’ve got to sort out those feelings and assess them. All other anger is the anger of man, which James says does not produce the righteousness of God.

            Its important to note that this anger does not produce God’s righteousness in us or in our children. Sometimes anger appears to work because it can force our kids to shape up out of fear, but don’t confuse that for godly character in them. Once they reach the point where they are no longer afraid of you, you will quickly discover that they have not developed godly character.

            Anger toward our children often arises from selfish goals and motivations. James 4:1-2 is very informative on this point: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder (and remember, in Matthew 5, Jesus said anger is just as serious as murder). You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”

            So why do you snap at your kids? Because you are coveting something and their behavior keeps you from having it, so you get angry. Perhaps you want peace and quiet—no matter what anyone else wants—but the kids are making some noise, so you get angry. Perhaps you wanted other people to think you’re a perfect parent, but your kids do something that embarrasses you, so you get angry.

            If you are quick to get angry with your kids, that is a dead giveaway that their behavior is obstructing some kind of sinful goal that you want to pursue. Their behavior may be sinful, but for your heart, that is irrelevant. Remember—you are called to implement God’s standards in your home, and God says, “let all bitterness and wrath and anger…be put away from you” (Ephesians 4:30).

            b. Playing favorites between siblings (or comparing them to each other) (James 2:1; Eph. 5:1)

            You might be familiar with how poorly this behavior worked out in the book of Genesis. Isaac and Rebekah played favorites and nearly drove Esau to murder Jacob; Jacob should have known better, but he played favorites, too, and nearly got his favorite son killed! Even if you never incite homicide in your family, remember—Jesus said that anger is just as bad.

            Asking your kids why they’re not more like their siblings is also unproductive. I’ve never heard of a situation where a child said, “You know what, Mom and Dad, you’re right! I should be more like my brother. Thanks for pointing that out to me!” Besides, we’re pointing our kids toward the wrong standard when we compare them to their siblings. Ephesians 5:1 says, “be imitators of God, as beloved children.” If Johnny isn’t exactly like Timmy, that’s okay—if Johnny is imitating God. That’s the real example that he should follow.

            c. Disciplining in unjust ways

                        1) Enforcing inconsistent standards/standards that change arbitrarily

            Have you ever played a board game with a child who switches the rules all the time—just making up any old rule whenever it suits him? We play along with that behavior sometimes, but its very frustrating, isn’t it? It doesn’t make the game very enjoyable.

            Well, imagine if that’s how your child feels about your home—he never knows exactly what the rules are or whether they will be enforced on a certain day, and he gets punished for breaking rules he “should have known,” even though they were never explained to him before. That’s going to create a very frustrating situation in your home.

            When it comes to the rules of your home, the most important lesson for your children to learn is that you mean what you say. Its not even necessary to have a lot of rules—after all, you can’t anticipate everything that may come up. It is most important for your children to learn that when you announce a rule, you will enforce it fairly and consistently. That lesson will teach them to respond to your authority when you have to address other situations that come up.

                        2) Disciplining without just cause (for accidents or without establishing who deserves what)

            Sometimes as a parent, you may come into a situation where its easiest to just exercise “the nuclear option”—where everyone in a five-mile radius gets a spanking! Maybe your kids are fighting or something was broken, and when you come upon the scene, the easiest thing to do is just rain down fire from heaven on everyone.

            Well, it certainly could be true that each child involved deserves discipline, but you need to establish that fact first. After all, you can’t effectively instruct your child if you don’t know exactly what he or she did—and punishment without instruction is not biblical discipline. Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom.” When you punish your child, you need to make sure he knows why he is being punished and how he can avoid further punishment in the future.

            Honestly, I think it is better NOT to carry out a punishment than to punish without just cause. If your child knows he is being punished unfairly, your punishment will not have its desired effect. In his heart, your child will not yield to your authority—he will chafe under it because he knows he is being treated unfairly.

                        3) Using excessive physical force which leaves lasting physical damage

            Spanking is somewhat controversial today, but it is a decidedly biblical method of discipline for our children, and I believe parents should make use of it when they deem it necessary. But the physical force that we use must be minimal and controlled. Any level of force that leaves bruises, welts, or broken skin is almost certainly too much.

            Also, when spanking is carried out in anger, it is no longer a biblical expression of discipline. We must make sure that we are in control of our emotions before we ever begin the process of spanking. After all, we are trying to teach our children self-control through our discipline, so we must model it for them.

3.  Sins of Omission

            This phrase refers to actions that we should do, but fail to carry out. It is based on the teaching of James 4:17, which says, “whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” What examples of this category of sin may come up in our parenting?

            A. Failing to speak words of praise or words of correction

            Parents have long recognized the power that our words have to shape our children, but its not uncommon to find one of two extremes among parents. Some parents are so afraid of raising children who are “soft” or conceited that they rarely, if ever, speak words of praise to their kids. Other parents are so concerned about their child’s self-esteem that they rarely, if ever, speak words of correction.

            Both of these approaches are unnecessary extremes that do not match scriptural teaching about our speech. The book of Proverbs praises the value of correction and teaches us to offer it in a thoughtful way that will increase the likelihood that it is received well. The same book also stresses the power of kind words to nourish the soul.

            Using words of praise and words of correction is a must for all parents. There is little to fear about going to extremes as long as you include both types of speech. Correct when necessary, and praise when appropriate, and your child will receive the benefits of correction and praise without facing the drawbacks of unbalanced communication.

            B. Failing to confess our sins and ask for forgiveness

            As human beings with a sinful heart, we will at times sin against our kids—we have already talked about many such scenarios today. When we do, it is vital that we confess those sins to them and ask for their forgiveness. We’re not fooling anyone when we refuse to admit when we have actually been wrong. We’re not fooling God, we’re not fooling our kids, and we’re really not fooling ourselves, either, since we normally face guilt when we refuse to confess our sins.

            Some parents seem to think that confessing their sins to their children is a sign of “weakness” that will cause their kids to think less of their parental authority. I am convinced that the opposite is true—confessing your sins is a sign of spiritual strength which will endear you to your children.

            Only parents who exercise control through fear and intimidation must maintain an aura of perfection at all costs. On the contrary, when we follow a biblical model of parenting, confessing your sins is a powerful way to teach your children that we all have to play by the same set of rules—God’s rules! No one is exempt from obeying Him—not even Mom and Dad. This lesson points our children toward their proper and ultimate authority, which is where we want to direct them anyway!

            C. Failing to show our children physical affection

            This issue may be a greater struggle for fathers. As men, we’re not so much the touchy-feely type. We’re a little less like mama cats, and a little more like male rams; we would just as soon hit someone on the football field as hug someone. But physical affection is very important. Sometimes, a simple hand on the shoulder can communicate more than our words could ever say.

            I’ve been told that physical affection is especially important between fathers and daughters as girls are entering the teenage years. Most girls are already extremely self-conscious about their body at that point in time, so if Dad stops giving her hugs or kisses, it can apparently exaggerate her confusion and insecurity. A father’s continued affection can be just the point of stability that a girl needs to deal with the changes that are taking place.

            We’ve covered almost a “dirty dozen” today as we’ve discussed some common ways in which we might provoke our children to anger. It may seem at this point that it is much easier to fail as a parent than to succeed, but please remember that these warnings today are the guardrails for the parenting task. As you’re driving down the road, its not the guardrails that deserve your focus—it’s the road and the destination. The best way to avoid the guardrails is not to focus on them, but on the road ahead. The guardrails are only there to bump us back in the right direction.

            As parents, we do not need to live in fear of failure. Rather, we can thank God for the parameters that He has put in place which help us instead to enjoy the scenery as we grow closer to Him, and bring our children along for the adventure.

The ABC's of Biblical Parenting--Parenting Series

            There is a verse in Ecclesiastes that has long been a favorite of seminary students. It is Ecclesiastes 12:12, which says, “Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.” For some reason, this verse has never made it into the AWANA program—I’m not sure why.

            Now, this verse could be a very fitting description for the parenting section at the bookstore. Before the poor employees get one parenting book on the shelf, the next one is already on its way. By the time you could read all of them, your kids would be grown and out of the house! You would have nothing to do with all of your knowledge except write books for the next generation of parents to read!

            Is there any way to boil down this task we call “parenting” to some basic principles? I think there is, and I think the Apostle Paul has done just that for us in two short commands that we find in his letters. By the way, I think its telling that we don’t have a long discussion in the Bible about parenting. The closest thing is the book of Proverbs, but that book deals with many other subjects as well. I think this is because the basic idea about parenting in the Bible is what we saw last week—just love God yourself, then show your kids how to do what you’re doing.

            We’re going to take a look at Paul’s commands this morning, and then we’ll answer three simple questions about them: 1) What are we supposed to do as parents?; 2) How are we supposed to do it?; and 3) Why are we supposed to do it this way?

            Let’s read the commandments in question. The first is found in Ephesians 6:4—“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The second is found in Colossians 3:21. It is very similar to the first command, but it adds an important detail to the discussion. This verse says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” That’s an important thought, and we’ll consider it more closely in just a moment.

            Let me make one observation before we jump into our questions. Both of these commands are addressed to fathers. Mothers are certainly not excluded; in fact, this Greek word sometimes refers to ancestors in general, both male and female. But fathers are emphasized in these verses because we are the leaders of the home. We bear the final responsibility of seeing that our homes are arranged according to God’s commands.

            We are just like managers in a business—we are not expected to do all of the work ourselves, but we are responsible for seeing that all of the work gets done in the right way. So it is in our homes—Mom may end up doing most of the parenting work (especially when our kids are infants and especially if Mom stays at home with the kids), but Dad is still responsible before God for all of it. So men, this means that we cannot be checked out of the parenting process. We need to be hands-on with our children when we can, and we need to communicate with Mom when we can’t. We must shoulder the responsibility!

Now let’s dive-in to the three questions that I have asked about these commands.

1. What are we supposed to do as parents?

            The first phrase of Ephesians 6:4 tells us what we are NOT supposed to do, so we’ll come back to that later. The second phrase tells us what we are supposed to do, that is, “bring [our children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Let’s think about these words “discipline” and “instruction.”

            Discipline is a perfectly good word—especially if you look it up in the dictionary—but it normally has negative connotations for us. When we hear “discipline,” we usually think of dishing out punishment after rules have been broken. Other translations use the word “training,” which is probably a better word in our language today.

            When we think of “training,” we might think of learning a new job or practicing with a sports team. When I worked at a bank several years ago, I spent my first week or so in training. They explained what I needed to do and how I would go about doing it. That’s an important combination—combining “what” with “how.” They didn’t just stick me in the teller window and say “make deposits” or “cash checks.” They explained how I would actually carry out those tasks.

            Have you ever been in a situation where someone expected you to do something but they didn’t effectively explain how you could actually accomplish the task? That’s frustrating, isn’t it? And it gets even worse if that person comes down on you for not accomplishing the task!

            There is a very important lesson here for the parenting task. As we raise our kids and tell them what they need to do, we also need to effectively explain how they can accomplish it. If we don’t, we’ll put them in that frustrating position that I just described, and we’ll make the situation even worse if we punish them while leaving the “how” question unanswered.

            Now the word “instruction” adds a third element to all of this—the element of “why.” The Greek term behind “instruction” refers to teaching that emphasizes the consequences of our choices; so it introduces the idea of warnings and incentives. When I worked at the bank, they had incentives in place to encourage us to refer our customers to our financial planning department (the folks who helped with investments and estate planning and trust funds and the like). Now I knew what the bank wanted me to do (they wanted me to make referrals), and I knew how I could accomplish that (I could arrange appointments), but my boss knew that I still might look at all of that and say, “What’s the point? Why should I bother?” So they put an incentive in place, which created an answer for my “why” question.

            So when we put all of this together, our basic answer to the first question is this: What are we supposed to do as parents? Teach our children what they should do, how they can do it, and why they should do it—all in light of God’s commands. This is fully biblical parenting—covering the bases of “what,” “how,” and “why” for our kids in light of God’s commands.

            Now I suspect we’re all pretty good at telling our kids what to do. As Christian parents, we’re probably accurate most of the time (I doubt you’ve ever told your child to do something that is just flat-out unbiblical). So we’re probably pretty good with the “what” side of things, but honestly we probably have a lot of struggles when it comes to “how” and “why.” Sometimes the “how” question is pretty simple. Think about asking your child to clean his room. That’s pretty straightforward—you can explain where they should put their toys and that sort of thing. But think about commands like “don’t talk back” or “don’t fight with your siblings.” Those are matters of the heart, aren’t they? In that case, we have to deal with questions like, “How can hold my tongue when I just want to speak my mind?” or “How can I live at peace with another person?” Now we’re talking about basic discipleship, which is more involved than just telling our kids where to put their toys.

            Or consider the “why” question. We have a fairly standard response when our kids us why they should do something—“because I said so!” That statement is true, but its not the whole truth, is it? Why should your kids obey you? Who made you so important? Well, God did, didn’t He? That’s the whole truth that we need to present to our kids.

            Now in just a couple of weeks, we’re going to devote some entire sermons to the “how” and “why” questions that are part of instructing our children, so we’ll move on for now. Just understand for the time being that fully biblical parenting must go beyond simply telling our kids what to do. We must also include the “how” and the “why.”

2. How are we supposed to do it?

            Based on these two commands, I think we can answer this question like so—in a manner that does not incite them to be angry or that will crush their spirit. In other words, we are to exercise our authority over our children with consideration for their emotions, their desires, their thoughts, and their motivation. This mindset in one sense is a protection for our children since they are called by God to obey us. I think they will have an easier time obeying us if they can tell that we are treating them in a considerate way.

            Now this idea reminds us of the God-given dignity and value that our children possess, and we as parents are responsible to take their God-given dignity into account as we raise them. This idea was revolutionary in the Roman culture of Paul’s day. Roman law operated by a principle that gave fathers absolute authority over their children. When a baby was born, the father had the right to decide if the child would live or die. If the child was the wrong gender or it was deformed in some way, the father could refuse to claim the child as his own, and if he rejected the child, it was either drowned or left somewhere to die of exposure. Even if a child was allowed to live, the father still retained absolute authority over its life. He could discipline the child however he desired—which included the option of putting the child to death.¹

            So imagine how odd it was in this culture for Paul to say “do not provoke your children to anger,” and “do not provoke [them], lest they become discouraged.” Where did this idea come from? Well, it came from God. Our children have God-given rights that we are not allowed to violate. If you’re tempted to think that you have unlimited authority over your children, you better think again. We are not allowed to sin against our children as we raise them. That rules out actions like dealing with them in anger or speaking harsh or bitter words against them.

            Now next week, we are going to talk about some ways in which parents commonly violate this command so that we can hopefully avoid this kind of behavior. But why is it so important that we act in this manner?

3. Why are we supposed to do it this way?

            Simply put, the answer is this—otherwise, we may push them toward sin or extinguish their motivation altogether. As Christian parents, pushing our children toward sin is exactly the opposite of what we hope to accomplish. Now of course, our children are always responsible before God for their own choices. They may choose a sinful path even though we have encouraged them toward a godly path.

            But it is possible for us to create an environment in our homes that actually makes sin look more desirable. What will our children learn if we deal with them in anger all the time? They will learn that anger is the way to exercise authority and control, so when they want to make themselves heard, how will they act? With anger! What will happen if we fail to give our children tender affection, and then a boyfriend or girlfriend comes along who is more than willing to give them unhealthy affection? Well, who cares if its unhealthy and its not real love at all—it still feels better and seems more promising than years of no affection at home.

            The other danger that Paul mentions is extinguishing our kids’ motivation altogether. Sometimes kids may not really choose a sinful path, but they won’t have the motivation to walk the godly path, either—so they won’t really rebel, they just won’t do much of anything! They won’t have much drive of their own at all. They won’t see the point in putting out effort to follow the godly path.

            I think this situation often comes about when we’ve told our children “what” to do for years and years, but we’ve never really told them “how” or “why.” Remember how frustrating that situation is? Let’s put this back in the context of your job—what happens when you’re in that situation for a long time? You either quit out of frustration, or you figure out how to do just enough to keep the boss of your back.

            That is not a situation that we want to create in our homes. The good news is that I think our children really do want to do what we ask them to do. They love us, and they want to have a good relationship with us. They are willing to consider what we have to say, but we’ve got to teach them how they can do it and why they should do it.

            So to sum things up for today, we are called by God to teach our children what to do, how to do it, and why to do it in a manner that will not provoke them to anger or discourage them so that we will not push them toward sin or crush their motivation. Now that’s easier said than done, right? But at least these commands give us some clarity! They put the target clearly within our sights, so that now we have something definite to shoot for. Now we can simply work to perfect our aim, so we can hit the bull’s eye in this process called parenting.

Notes:

1. William Barclay, The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians, The New Daily Study Bible (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2002), 202.

"But What About..."--Eternal Security series

Over the last few weeks, I have presented what I believe is a strong case for the belief that a Christian can never lose his or her salvation. Along the way, I’ve mentioned a few times that there are Christians who disagree with me over this issue, and I’m sure many of you knew that before we ever started this series. People whom I consider brothers and sisters in Christ have come to a different conclusion about this subject, and I think our disagreement is sad and unfortunate, but nevertheless, it is the reality that we face today.

Now, as I’ve mentioned this disagreement, perhaps you’ve thought to yourself, “What’s led to all of this? Why do Christians disagree about whether or not we can lose our salvation?” Well, to put it simply, as we read through the Bible, we encounter verses that seem to give us every reason to believe that our salvation is secure, but we also encounter verses that give us strong warnings about the possibility of losing something through disobedience or unbelief. Let me show you what I mean through the words of a few of the authors of Scripture:

From Jesus

• John 6:37—“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.”

• John 10:27-28—“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.”

• John 15:6—“If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.”

• Matthew 10:33—“Whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.”

From Paul

• Romans 8:38-39—“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor power, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

• 1 Corinthians 9:26-27—“So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”

From Peter

• 1 Peter 1:4-5—“…to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.”

• 2 Peter 3:17—“You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability.”

You can probably see for yourself why there have been disagreements over the question of eternal security. Most of the time, people gravitate toward either the “security” verses or the “loss” verses. We tend to emphasize one set of these verses, and then we try to pretend like the other verses don’t exist because they make us uncomfortable!

Various attempts have been made over the years to reconcile the security verses and the loss verses. On the one hand, some of those who believe that we CAN lose our salvation have said that all of the security verses should be read with an unspoken condition in our minds. That is to say that God will never cast us out of His family unless we choose to leave; then, under that condition, He would choose to cast us out. I said last week, however, that I don’t think an unspoken condition does justice to the security verses because their wording is so emphatic.

On the other hand, some of those who believe we CANNOT lose our salvation have said that the loss verses are merely hypothetical. In other words, God is telling us how terrible it would be if He ever cast us out—even though He will never do it! I can’t agree with that solution, however, because I don’t think it does justice to the loss verses. I think the loss verses are meant to warn us about a real danger, and they would lose their power to motivate us if they were only hypothetical. If I tell my daughter someday that I will hypothetically ground her if she doesn’t listen to me, I don’t think that warning will be very motivating for her!

So how can we reconcile the security verses and the loss verses? It will not do to minimize or ignore one set of verses because they are both in the Bible. So how can we reconcile them? By remembering an easily-forgotten observation from Scripture.

1. There is more to our future destiny than heaven or hell!

So often, when we think about our future destiny, our thoughts turn immediately to heaven and hell. That’s understandable in a way, because we all want to be really, really sure that we don’t go to hell. Once we’re sure that we’re not going to go to hell, we kind of breathe a deep sigh of relief and then forget to ask whether there’s anything more to our destiny than escaping hell and going to heaven.

But when we study Scripture, we find that there is more to our destiny than simply escaping hell and going to heaven. In fact, as believers, there is a period of time that we will all go through before we settle into our eternal home in heaven, and that period of time is known as the Millennium. This is a period of time in which Jesus will return to the earth to set up a kingdom over which He will reign for a thousand years. The Millennium and our eternal home in heaven are both described at the end of the book of Revelation.

Revelation 21-22 describes our eternal home in heaven, but before we arrive there, we as believers will go through the events of Revelation 19-20. Revelation 19 describes an event known as the marriage supper of the Lamb, which will be a celebration of the union between Jesus and Christians, because Christians as a group are described in the New Testament as the bride of Christ.

After this, Revelation 19 says that Jesus will return to the Earth—with all of us in tow—to fight against an alliance of armies that will be gathered against the Jewish people at Jerusalem. This is the battle known as the Battle of Armageddon. Jesus will destroy this alliance of armies, and then according to Revelation 20, He will establish a kingdom on this earth that will last for a thousand years. Other prophetic passages tell us that this kingdom will usher in a time of unparalleled peace and prosperity in the world.

We are also told in other passages that we have the opportunity to serve as officials in Jesus’ government if we are faithful to Him in our lives today. However, we are also warned that we can lose the opportunity to reign with Christ if we are unfaithful to Him. In my opinion, this observation is the key to reconciling the security verses in Scripture and the loss verses in Scripture. I believe these verses are talking about two different aspects of future destiny. The security verses are talking about our eternal home in heaven, because that is a gift from God. He gives us that blessing as a gift when He forgives us, as we learned a few weeks ago. But the loss verses, on the other hand—at least the vast majority of them—are talking about the danger of losing the privilege of reigning with Christ during His earthly kingdom. This privilege is never described as a gift in the Bible—it is always described as a reward for faithfulness, a prize that we can win by living for Christ today.

Let me direct your attention to a small set of verses which summarize these two different aspects of our future destiny. Turn with me to 2 Timothy 2:11-13.

2. A summary of the Christian’s life and destiny

Follow with me as I read vv. 8-13 [READ vv. 8-13]. Many translators and interpreters have detected a poetic feel in vv. 11-13 which has led them to believe that these verses may have been part of a hymn that first-century Christians sang, or perhaps some kind of creed that they recited prior to baptism. Whatever they may have been, they give us a concise summary of the Christian’s life and destiny in just four statements.

A. The promise of life with Jesus

The first statement says, “If we have died with him, we will also live with him.” Notice that the words “have died” are in the past tense. They are referring to the spiritual unity that we have with Christ and His death when we accept Him as our Savior. As Colossians 3:3 taught us last week, “you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”

So our lives are now hidden in Christ, which gives us the assurance that we will live with Him in the future, as this verse says. And notice that the only condition for living with Jesus in the future is dying with Him, which happened to us spiritually when we accepted Christ. So if you have accepted Christ, you have the assurance that you will live with Him. However—notice that there is more to our destiny than just living with Christ!

B. The prize for living for Jesus

The second statement says, “If we endure, we will also reign with him.” In addition to living with Jesus in the future, we have held out to us here the opportunity of reigning with Him in His kingdom on earth. But notice that this privilege will be ours only if we endure, which refers to faithfully living for Jesus through the ups and downs of life. In our lives, we face many difficulties from temptations, the sins of others, and world events in general. Here we have the promise that if we will endure all of these things as faithful representatives of Jesus, then He will allow us to represent Him in His future kingdom as well.

But as you can see, this privilege is conditional, and it is based upon whether or not we are faithful to Christ. So what happens if we are unfaithful to Him? That’s the point of the third statement.

C. The penalty for denying Jesus

The third statement says, “If we deny him, he also will deny us.” At first glance, we might think that “denying Christ” refers to totally rejecting Him. But this word is used in the Gospels in the story of Peter’s denials of Christ, which were not a complete rejection, but unfaithfulness in the face of temptation.

I think that’s what we’re talking about here, especially since this statement is contrasted with the statement about enduring. So if we do not endure, if we don’t remain loyal to Christ in the face of temptation, then the last part of the statement says “he also will deny us.” Here, at first glance, we may ask if this is talking about the loss of our eternal home in heaven, but I think the first statement and the fourth statement prevent us from drawing that conclusion. I think this third statement is just the opposite of the second statement—if we are faithful to Christ, we will be allowed to reign with Christ; if we are not faithful to Him, He will deny us that privilege.

But if we are unfaithful to Him, how will He respond in light of His promises to us? That’s the subject of the fourth statement.

D. The promise of faithfulness from Jesus

The fourth and final statement says, “If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.” The second and third statements have raised the possibility that we may not be faithful to Jesus in our lives in the face of temptation, so what then? Will He back out on His promises to us?

The fourth statement assures us that He never will. He cannot be unfaithful to the promises that He has made to us. We may lose the reward, but we will never lose the gift. The reward is the right to reign with Christ in His earthly kingdom; the gift is the life that we will enjoy with Jesus during His kingdom and on into eternity.

So how are we to deal with the loss verses in the Bible? By remembering that there are two aspects to our destiny—the place that you will spend eternity, and the role that you will play for Christ during His earthly kingdom. In my opinion, this is the only way to make sense of both the security verses and the loss verses. If we try to relate both the security verses and the loss verses to our home in heaven, we will have contradictions in our doctrine that can never be solved. In that case, its no surprise that Christians disagree about this subject, because we’re simply picking sides of a debate that has no solution to it! But if we remember that there are two aspects to our destiny, then as our AWANA theme verse puts it, we can rightly divide the word of truth and thus be a worker who does not need to be ashamed.

Now some people would say that this solution to the subject of eternal security does not do justice to the loss verses that I have mentioned. They would say that the loss being described is far too great to simply be the loss of a privileged role in Christ’s future kingdom. But consider this—when God put human beings on this planet, he put us here to reign! He told Adam and Eve to “have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth (Gen. 1:28). We were made to reign over this planet as God’s representatives. Jesus now holds out to us a second chance—an opportunity to share in the authority that He will one day have over this world. But if you and I are unfaithful to Him today, we could miss out on a chance to do the very thing that humanity was created to do. In my opinion, that is a bitter, bitter loss—one that should not be underestimated.

Our life with Jesus is secure, but our role for Jesus is being determined every day with every choice that we make. Don’t let the reward slip out of your grasp!